


Unravelling Tapestries

by Brackenfrond



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: Alabaster accidentally adopts Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore Critical, Characters Reading Harry Potter Books, Found Family, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mental Health Discussions, Multi, Of a sorts, Time Travel Fix-It, but comments outweigh the actual book text, discussions regarding magic, enough so you know what happened, get these guys some therapy, in like a brotherly way, minimal book text, mostly from Alabaster, nothing graphic but be careful
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:34:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 43,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29009127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brackenfrond/pseuds/Brackenfrond
Summary: Alabaster Torrington was finally happy with the way his life turned out.He had a boyfriend and a sister and Cassandra, who may as well be another sister, even if he had PTSD and depression.Why his mother decided now was the time to send his family into the past by twenty or so years, to meet some wizards and read some books?Alabaster couldn’t say, but his luck had always been terrible.Reading the (HP) books fic.No full text recitation, all commentary is equal to or more than the original chapter.
Relationships: Alabaster Torrington/Original Male Character(s), Alabaster Torrington/Original Male Charater(s)/Regulus Black, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 13





	1. In Which Time Travel Sucks

There is a saying that fate is set in stone. No matter what is done to avoid it, fate is always the same. Unchanging. Unmoving.

The saying is wrong. As most things humans say, sayings are wrong or they leave out the important parts of sayings. Curiosity killed the cat. Blood is thicker than water. A leopard can’t change it’s spots.

Fate is set in stone.

Look back at history, through the mythology mortals have believed in and, almost always, fate is a tapestry. Stories woven in fabric, with threads shimmering and beautiful. Wars and strife, but love and hope too. The thing about tapestries - threads can be unpicked. Rewoven into something more splendid than what was once there. The same theory applies to tapestries of fate, apparently, and for that Hecate was glad.

She may not have permission exactly for what she was planning on doing, but she was the goddess of magic itself, of crossroads and pathways. If she unravelled threads to weave a future to benefit the children who fought in a war which shouldn't have had to be fought in the first place...well, the Fates may protest, but they could not stop her.

This was what Hecate had decided - change the future, warp it into something better. And maybe - just maybe - provide two of her children who had the most rotten luck with a better life than the one that was woven for them in the near future.

XoooX

Alabaster’s luck had always been pretty terrible, but things were looking up finally.

Three fucking years late, mind you, but still, it was better than nothing.

He figured his refusal to just die like the gods who’d banished him from the only safe haven for demigods probably wanted him to do was the best payback he could think of. It was like sticking up both his middle fingers to the entirety of Olympus and telling them to go fuck themselves, except it was less likely to end with him as a pile of ash or a bug of some sort, so in a way it was even  _ better _ .

He had a boyfriend who was probably the best person in the world (though he may be biased a little), a half sister who wasn’t in camp constantly and an awkward, mismatched family of people who he had met when he was sixteen, young and bitter, but now he was older and wiser and...ok, still bitter, but he didn’t have the urge to kill Percy Jackson anymore, so he supposed he had improved slightly.

Slightly.

Still, as previously stated, Alabaster’s luck was abysmal, so when he found himself engulfed in a light and then dropped in the middle of a huge room, swarming with children, well...to say he was exhausted by the direction his life had taken would be an understatement. Fortunately, Topher, Fahra and Cassandra were with him - Topher and Fahra could defend themselves and Cassandra had a scream that would put a banshee to shame, so if worse came to worse they could kill everyone and scram.

Hands were raised almost immediately, all holding pieces of wood, and only then did Alabaster feel the power in the room - the raw magic, it made him feel almost dizzy at first, and he caught sight of Fahra ducking her head, letting out a weak groan. Then instinct kicked in, and Alabaster withdrew the sword at his hip, turning and pointing it at the old man who was holding his wand at the group. Alabaster’s hands were trembling, and he bit the inside of his cheek in a desperate attempt to not let out a panicked noise. He heard Fahra let out another weak noise, Topher’s breathing pick up speed and Cassandra letting out a muffled cry of distress. “On the count of three, we lower our weapons.” Alabaster was proud of how his voice didn’t shake, how his sword remained steadily pointed at the old man. He strongly suspected that the only reason that the immense strength of magic hadn’t targeted them was Cassandra, who was definitely much too young, who had moved to grasp the sleeve of Alabaster’s jacket that wasn’t aloft. The man nodded.

“One...two...three.” All weapons were lowered, and Alabaster felt the other two of his group move closer to him. All back to back, ready in case someone hadn’t got the memo. “Who are you? How did you get in here?” The old man asked, and Alabaster felt something probing at his mind. He had never been so relieved that Topher had that skill, to poke into people’s minds, and slammed down the doors to his mind before the man could get any farther.

“I should be asking you the same question.”

“Al.” Fahra’s voice sounded weak, and Alabaster’s head immediately turned to her. She looked paler than she should, a hand still at her head. “Please, just...gods, my head.”

“I wanna go home.” Cassandra whispered, and instinctively Alabaster put a hand on top of her blonde hair, like he used to do when she was little and barely reached his shoulders. Alabaster put aside the sudden urge to just kill everyone and leave because that would probably not work, and also because of Cassandra.

“My name’s Alabaster Torrington. This is my half-sister, Fahra.” He jerked his head in Fahra’s direction. “This is Cassandra Fairweather and Topher Bell.” His eyes narrowed. “Why we’re here? No clue. Maybe you can answer that - and why you were trying to read my mind.”

“Oh.” Cassandra said, and then was bent almost double. Alabaster cursed, hands moving to support her when she nearly collapsed to the floor, only to straighten up. Her eyes were wide, unseeing, and he cursed again when she opened her mouth and the words were in an airy, not completely there voice.

“ _ Four brought back by magic’s gift, _

_ Shall help repair an ancient rift, _

_ And to see what the future holds, _

_ A hero's story shall unfold. _

_ One long lost by what pride had wrought, _

_ To the present they shall be brought, _

_ Wizards and halfbloods together will stand, _

_ Or all shall fall by the false heir’s hand. _ ”

Her eyes regained their usual look, and she stumbled, falling against Alabaster’s side. “What did I say?” Alabaster shushed her, trying to glare at every eye in the hall as they stared at Cassandra. “Al?”

“Not important.” He murmured. “So. Wizards, huh?”

“So much for ‘wizards aren’t real, Toph, don’t be ridiculous.’” Topher muttered and Alabaster resisted the sudden, overwhelming urge to roll his eyes. He was spared from having to counter that comment by a flash of light that temporarily blinded him.

When it cleared, there was a man on their knees, coughing up water. 

It was almost instinct that Alabaster’s sword was raised again, but Topher held up a hand, eyes roving over the man, who seemed to be regaining their bearings - even if that meant heaving in gulping breaths of air, hacking and coughing still.

“One long lost, to the present shall be brought.” Topher murmured. “He's supposed to be dead - in a matter of seconds, I’m guessing.”

“This is so fucking weird.” Fahra managed to hiss out, earning a snort of amusement from Alabaster. “Seriously, who has the right to fucking...I dunno, raise the dead?”

“They haven’t raised the dead - they’ve brought him forward in time.” Cassandra didn’t keep her voice quiet, considering the fact that no one seemed up to speaking other than the four demigods. “Someone please repeat what I said so I can at least try and make sense of it.”

“Like you’ve had much luck interpreting what in Hades’ name you say most of the time?” Alabaster retorted and Cassandra scowled at him, which with her blonde curls and pretty blue eyes was about as intimidating as a bunny rabbit. “That’s not going to work, Sunshine.”

“Don’t call me Sunshine.” Cassandra snapped back, and the inevitable argument that would have started was cut off by a cough from the old man Alabaster had considered stabbing a while back.

“Your friend...she’s a seer?” He asked and Cassandra went stiff. Alabaster reconsidered his ‘no killing anyone unless we can secure an escape’ policy.

“She has prophetic tendencies.” Alabaster answered. “She also has a name and would prefer for you to not use the term ‘seer’.”

“Al, it’s fine.” Cassandra murmured. “They don’t know and you can’t go and kill everyone who inadvertently offends us.”

“I can make a good go of it though.” Alabaster retorted and he could feel Topher’s exasperation rolling off him in waves.

“Ok, let’s explain to the newcomer what’s happened, have a nice, long talk about what is inappropriate in a school setting - considering the fact there are lots of children here, and yes Fahra that means no swearing - and then work out what’s going on. Good? Good.”

“That seems the most sensible course of action.” The old man finally agreed.

“Good.” The voice that spoke came from the man who had been coughing up water, raspy and sore. “Because last I checked, I was being drowned by inferi, and I wasn’t supposed to find myself back here.”

“Regulus?” One of the men at the head table had risen to his feet, one with a scarred face and amber eyes, and was staring at the man. Another, one with sallow skin and a hooked nose, looked like he'd seen a ghost - which, Alabaster suspected, was actually what had happened. "Merlin's beard, but you're…"

“Dead? Surprisingly, I got that.” The man, Regulus Alabaster supposed, said dryly. “But I’m not. And if I’m sent here because I’m supposed to be…” He trailed off, looking at the older man. "I need to speak to you. It's...it's important. Not for all ears."

“I think,” Topher started, eyes flickering to the stares around the room, the slight desperation that touched Regulus' eyes. “That maybe we should take this somewhere private.”

XoooX

Cassandra wasn’t sure why the people in the classroom were deemed important, but she supposed it would be revealed soon enough.

Thankfully, she’d quickly made nice with the girl with curly brown hair, who had been brought in at a dark haired boy’s insistence, and she told her that, apparently, she’d gone into a trance and said a rhyme.

“It’s not a prophecy though, right?” She’d kept her voice low, sounding skeptical. “It’s all...all poppycock, right?”

“Sometimes, but if I go like that, bits tend to happen.” Cassandra explained. “Alabaster gets protective, though, so not many people hear it more than once and he never tells me anything.” She paused. “I don’t know your name.”

“Oh, I’m Hermione.” The girl said. “The others in the room - the redhead is Ron, the black haired boy is Harry. The man who your friend - Alabaster, was it? - was talking to is Professor Dumbledore, and with him is Professor McGonagall. There’s also Professor Lupin, our Defence teacher." 

“What year is it? If the prophecy is right, it should be different from what I expected, and the adults just seem to be arguing.” Which was true. Cassandra could see Alabaster twitching, and the only reason he hadn’t drawn his sword again was due to Topher’s grip on his wrist, thumb rubbing soothing circles on the back of his hand.

“You think it’s real?” Hermione asked. “The thing you said?”

“They usually are. Although I normally dream about them.” Cassandra bit her lip. “If they rhyme, they almost definitely happen, usually I just get...sort of impressions?” Hermione let out a hum that sounded skeptical.

“It’s 1993.” She said, and Cassandra let out a slightly hysterical noise.

“Al?” She managed. “Al, it’s 1993.” That led to a loud curse from Alabaster, and two equally panicked noises from Fahra and Topher.

“Fucking...20 years. Shit.” Alabaster cursed.

“What did I say again?  _ Four brought back by magic’s gift _ ?” Cassandra said. “That’s us.  _ To see what the future holds, a hero’s story shall unfold  _ \- but, why would we be brought back? We’re not the heroes.” Cassandra stated.

“That’s why young Harry has been brought in.” Dumbledore said, and Harry shifted awkwardly in place, raising his head slightly to look at Dumbledore. “If what you said was a prophecy, then I believe Harry may be the hero spoken of.”

“Great.” Harry said, but he sounded like it was anything but great.

“ _ Wizards and halfbloods together will stand _ obviously refers to us working together.” Topher stated.

“Yeah, what do you mean by halfblood? Because you obviously don’t mean wizard halfbloods.” Ron asked, earning him an elbow in the side from Hermione.

“It’s gonna sound crazy.” Fahra decided, which Cassandra honestly understood.

“I think you landing in the middle of a school hall means we’ll listen to just about any explanation.” McGonagall said, and Fahra frowned, before sighing heavily.

“Half human, half god.” Fahra said, with no tact, and Topher let out a loud, put upon groan when people just blinked.

“Way to ease them into it, Fahra.” He said. The daughter of Hecate just shrugged.

“There’s no easy way to say it, Toph.” She stated. “Besides, if the dead are no longer dead, being half god can’t be hard to take in.”

“Makes you sound fucking pretentious, though.”

“Al, if I can’t swear, you’re not allowed to, either.” Fahra scowled at her brother, who raised an eyebrow in turn. “Look, I told you what the halfblood statement meant. If you believe me or not is another matter entirely.”

“One that ‘magic’ can clear up.” Alabaster muttered. “Mother is behind this...whatever this is.”

“...Mother?”

“Hecate.” Alabaster answered Lupin, voice short and sharp. “Hopefully, she won’t show up.”

“But...she’s your mum.” Ron was frowning. “Wouldn’t you be happy to see her?”

“With demigods, our parents...don’t really care.” Cassandra kept her voice quiet. “My father tries, but...well, Al’s had issues with Hecate.”

"Parent issues are something I'm familiar with." Regulus murmured. "But that's beside the point - Dumbledore, Voldemort he...he made a horcrux." Dumbledore turned pale, but most of the room looked highly confused. Cassandra felt confused, too - a horcrux? What on earth was a horcrux? It seemed as though they weren’t going to continue that line of discussion, as Dumbledore only managed a small nod to Regulus, before turning to Cassandra. She could feel the probing at her mind, and tentatively reached out for it, pushing it back. She’d had a visitor in her head before, and wasn’t keen on having another. Dumbledore blinked, as though startled, before he plastered a small, pleasant looking smile on his face.

“When you have your...visions, Miss Fairweather, do you...see anything? Saw anything, I suppose, in regard to this one?” He asked, and Lupin turned to stare at him.

“Professor -” His voice sounded quiet, almost a gentle admonishment that he was unsure of giving, and only then did Cassandra notice her hands were shaking.

“You don’t have to answer that, Cassie.” Topher said, managing to keep his voice calm, but Cassandra answered anyway.

“Sometimes. Usually I dream about them, you see, so I see bits of what they may include. Of what’s important. I...I saw bits. Pieces.” She managed. “Um...books? I think? A dog, too - black, shaggy. Freckles and pink hair and...and a green light." She shook her head, smiling slightly ruefully. "That's not very helpful, is it? Sorry."

“On the contrary - it may be more helpful than you believe.” Dumbledore’s eyes had a twinkle to them. “I believe these books may reveal a hero’s story, and we have clues as to who should be involved in revealing it.”

“If Harry’s alright with it.” Topher pointed out, considerate and calm as always. “If this is his story - well, then it’s up to him if it is read.”

“I mean, I don’t know how reading about my past will help.” Harry said, raising an eyebrow in question. “I don’t know if I want everyone knowing...everything.” Cassandra caught the cringe, and winced internally. Yeah, someone knowing everything about your life...not fun. Cassandra knew very well she would hate people reading about her past - about the foster homes and the streets, not to mention the dreams and the visions and the nightmares…

She couldn’t blame Harry one bit.

“It’d be useful if  _ someone _ would provide some more insight!” Alabaster called up to the ceiling, waiting almost expectantly. Topher let out a heavy, almost exasperated sigh.

“One day your mother will turn you into an insect.” He said.

“One day she’ll care enough to do so.” Alabaster retorted. “Look, she dumped us here and Cassandra had a prophecy and left us with nothing -” Alabaster was cut off by a flash of light and it cleared to reveal a piece of parchment in his hand.

“It appears she answered.” Lupin sounded amused. Fahra rolled her eyes when Alabaster scowled, but he skimmed the note.

“You have a day or two to gather those you want involved.” He said after a few minutes. “That's when the ‘books’ will arrive - detailing past, present and future events. Hence the ‘unfold’ bit, some stuff no one will know the outcome of. That’ll be fun, at least. Also, apparently because my mother hates me, some of our life will be shoved in too.” Alabaster’s expression turned sour. “Mostly mine. Because, as stated, my mother  _ hates _ me.”

“You remind me so much of my brother.” Regulus said, and Cassandra noticed an almost entire group wince at that statement. “What?”

“Mr Black, your brother...he is a criminal.” McGonagall appeared to try and break the news gently, but it looked as though Regulus had been slapped. “He escaped from Azkaban a few months ago.”

“...Fuck.” He said, with feeling, and Topher’s brows furrowed.

“Wait, should we know about this?” He asked.

“Considering what you can do if he tries to kill anyone, probably not.” Fahra hummed, stealing the note from Alabaster who tried to grab it back. “Oh look, Al, you’ve got a present for you on the school grounds. How nice.”

“What does she mean, what you can do?” Hermione asked, brows furrowed.

“Nothing impressive.” Topher said, like his ability to peer into minds and bring forth madness was as simple as making a sandwich. “Al?”

“I’m going, I’m going.” Alabaster muttered, turning on his heel and stalking off. His head peered back around the doorframe a fraction of a second later. “How do I reach the school grounds?”

XoooX

Harry had volunteered himself to lead Alabaster to the grounds, needing time to think, and he supposed Alabaster wouldn’t be one to start up a conversation when he didn’t want to start one.

He wasn’t sure what to think of the new people, to be honest. He had no reason to not believe them, and if they were going to lie it wouldn’t be with something as ridiculous as being children of gods. The youngest, Cassandra, was nice enough, although she had gone into a sort of trance in the Great Hall, and then said she’d seen a shaggy, black dog (Harry was aware of the fact that he had seen that dog, that it may be the Grim) and a green light (And Harry still heard his mother screaming, sometimes, more often than he would like) and it set him on edge. If this...prophecy thing that Cassandra had was the real thing, then...then it felt like she had predicted his death.

“I can practically hear your brain whirring.” Harry started at Alabaster’s unexpected comment. “Can’t say I’m not in the same situation, but sometimes a problem shared is a problem halved. At least, that’s what Topher keeps telling me.” The older man turned to look at Harry, and Harry almost startled at his eyes. Bright green, avada kedavra green, like the light that killed his father, his mother. Like Harry’s eyes, only unobscured by the round glasses he wore.

“It’s just...what your friend said. About green light?” Harry waited for Alabaster to nod. “It’s a...a spell. It killed my parents.” Alabaster paused, and Harry followed suit.

“Ah.” He said, before hesitating slightly and nodding once. “With Cassie and her prophecies...there are lots of different ways they can be interpreted. Especially the ones without the words. She has a lot of dreams like that. You could be right, but you could also be wrong. If she knew about your parents, about the spell - she wouldn’t have brought it up. We all have...issues regarding our parents, and Cassie lost her mother when she was very little. She wouldn’t have mentioned it.” His eyes flickered back to Harry. “In fact, if you told her, she probably would have hugged you. She’s very…” Alabaster’s nose wrinkled, much to Harry’s amusement. “Tactile.”

“And you’re not?”

“I prefer to have a personal bubble.” Alabaster decided, and Harry may have snorted slightly. “I grew up with a father who was...less than kind. Topher says I need to get used to touch meaning something other than hurt, so he touches me almost constantly. Little things, but I like to think I’m getting a bit better.” Harry thought that ‘less than kind’ meant ‘like the Dursleys’, although Alabaster had never met them.

“The thing about this whole...thing, is that it will reveal my past and my home life.” Harry began picking at the cuff of his robes, suddenly regretting even bringing it up. “And my relatives were...less than kind. I don’t know if I want everyone to know what they were like. If they think I’m not...strong enough. Because I didn’t stand up to them.”

“If they care, they won’t think that.” Alabaster said, and Harry noted how his voice had gone soft, like how it had when he’d spoken to Cassandra earlier. “They’ll be angry - not at you, at your relatives. When Fahra found out about my father, she threatened to kill him. That...will probably be her reaction to this, too, even though she doesn’t know you very well.” Harry caught the corner of Alabaster’s mouth twitch up. “If she asks if she can adopt you, say no - I don’t trust her with raising someone on her own.”

“You wouldn’t help?”

“I helped with Cassie.” They walked in a comfortable silence for a while, before they left the inside of the castle and cool air hit their faces. Alabaster took a seat on the steps, tilting his head back slightly and closing his eyes.

“Do you want to wait alone?”

“Not particularly.” Alabaster opened one eye and offered a sharp, toothy grin. “I need a witness in case my mother shows up. I might yell at her. I need someone to make sure I don’t try to fight a goddess.” Harry had the sudden vision of Alabaster punching a lovely woman, dressed in white and glowing faintly, in the nose. He decided that he didn’t want that to happen, so took a seat next to him.

Apparently, the supposed gift wasn’t a goddess, but a dog. In fact, a shaggy, black dog that had been following Harry since he blew up his aunt at Privet Drive. Harry blinked at the dog. The dog blinked back.

“I swear that dog’s been stalking me.” Harry said to Alabaster, who looked mildly confused. “I saw it at home, I swear I did.”

“Dogs are particularly intelligent creatures. Why some of the most dangerous monsters are called Hellhounds.” Alabaster said, and Harry decided to not comment on that. Even so, Alabaster held out a hand and made a clicking sound with his tongue. The dog loped over, nosed at Alabaster’s palm and allowed the boy to stroke him. “Wonder why my mother sent you. Wonder why Cassie had a vision of you - but you must be very important.”

“So he isn’t a grim?” Harry managed, reaching out to stroke the dog too. He could feel ribs when he ran a hand down his side, and it made his heart pang a little in sympathy.

“No clue what a grim is, but far as I can tell he’s a dog.” Alabaster said, but there was something in his voice that told Harry that wasn’t the entire truth. He decided not to question it, though. “You need a name, though, don’t you? I’m shit with names. Fuck, I just swore in front of a kid.”

“I’ve heard worse.” Harry assured him, watching as the dog licked Alabaster’s cheek and the older boy pushed him away, making a noise of disgust in the back of his throat. “Why do you think you’re bad with names.”

“I chose Alabaster, which is a type of rock, and Fahra picked on me for days about it. Though, I was ten at the time.” Alabaster admitted. “It’s why they use ‘Al’ most of the time - less odd.” He tilted his head slightly at the dog, who mimicked the action. To Harry, this did not seem like normal dog behaviour. “I mean, I could just call him Dog.”

“You’re right. You are shit at names.” Harry said and Alabaster let out a wheezing noise which Harry identified as him trying not to laugh. “Calling a dog Dog, such creativity.”

“Better than calling him Cat.” Alabaster stated, and Harry laughed.

“Fine, Dog it is.” Harry paused slightly. “Al? I can -”

“‘Course you can call me that.” Alabaster said. “What is it?”

“Can you sit with me? During...during the reading, I mean.” Harry felt himself blush at the request. “You don’t have to, I just...know people are going to want to comfort me and, and pity me and I don’t want or need that. I know you’ll probably get angry, but like...you won’t try to coddle me. I don’t want to be coddled.”

“You do realise the three I call my family will definitely join us, right?” Alabaster said.

“But they’ll listen if you tell them that I want to not be treated like glass, right?”

“...Topher may suggest therapy. Fahra will definitely consider murder as a solution. Cassandra will probably cry, because she is that sort of person. Think you can deal with that?”

“I think I can.”

“It’s a deal, then.” Alabaster stuck his hand out, and Harry shook it.

XoooX

The next day passed quickly, the only thing of note was Alabaster and his friends getting bearings within the castle and much gentle rubbing at calling his new pet ‘Dog’. Dog didn’t seem to mind the name, though, nor did he mind laying under the Gryffindor table during mealtimes, especially when Cassandra took it upon herself to fill a plate with dog suitable food and place it on the floor in front of him. Lupin had given Dog an odd look when he’d first seen him, and Dog had returned it, but he hadn’t commented on it. Alabaster suspected that Lupin maybe knew that Dog was not wholly a dog, but was trusting Alabaster’s judgement in the matter, which was that his mother wouldn’t have sent Dog to him if him not being completely a dog was an issue.

One thing Alabaster did note, while sitting in on a potions lesson, was that he did not like Severus Snape.

All four of them had circulated through classes, though usually stuck to one. Cassandra was having a ball in Divination, apparently debunking certain methods of fortune telling and that prophetic tendencies were something you couldn’t learn. Apparently, Ron Weasley thought she was the best thing to happen to that lesson, especially when she’d scoffed at reading tea leaves. Topher had preferred hanging around the greenhouses, and Pomona Sprout had taken a vested interest in his ability to cause fruit bearing plants to produce fruit quicker and make it taste better than usual. Fahra much preferred Ancient Runes, claiming it was close enough to her spell casting than anything else, and therefore didn’t need to worry about understanding anything.

Alabaster had dabbled in all, but had made a stubborn decision to stay at the back of every Gryffindor and Slytherin Potions lesson to call out people sabotaging others potions, and to glare at Snape whenever he made a snide comment directed at the Gryffindors in particular. Alabaster had seen the derisive way most of the school treated the Slytherin students, and had taken it upon himself to dissolve any picking on younger Slytherins by swooping in like an avenging angel, but that was no reason to favour the house so greatly and to belittle poor Neville, who had taken to working closer to the back, closer to Alabaster who would put Snape in his place if he so much as looked at him wrong. It didn’t matter that Snape was older than Alabaster, and a teacher, Alabaster didn’t like bullies, and Snape was definitely one.

So far, Alabaster’s favourite teacher was Lupin, because he was humorous in a way that didn’t hurt people, and knew what he was talking about. He did ask Alabaster if he was alright after his quick lesson on Grindylows and Alabaster’s head had hit the desk with a thunk, much to the amusement of everyone else. Alabaster was expecting other creatures that shouldn’t exist but apparently did to come up during this reading, and he wasn’t looking forward to it much at all. Cassie would definitely be vibrating with joy, though. Cassie had adapted best to the whole thing, and was making friends left right and centre - but that was just how Cassandra operated. She couldn’t say a bad word to anyone, and her disappointed tone made whoever it was directed at feel immediately bad about anything they had done.

Alabaster should know. After he’d been dragged back to New York by Fahra, he’d had the tone directed at him, and immediately regretted running away even if it was for the safety of...well, everyone but him, apparently.

Regulus, who Alabaster hadn’t spoken to much, had stayed more out of the way of things, though he and Topher did have a long discussion about mental health. Apparently, brainwashing was a thing, especially during the first war that Alabaster did not ask about and did not want to know more about, due to his own war, and Topher had poked around a bit in his mind to see if anything was permanently damaged by spells or the time travel. According to his boyfriend, Regulus had minor PTSD, due to fighting in the war, but nothing that was permanently damaging and could be dealt with via therapy and medication. Which Topher had discussed with Madame Pomphrey, and proceeded to get into an intense debate with about the pros and cons of magical and mundane mental remedies. It meant that Alabaster still got his antidepressants, and Regulus was starting them, too, so it was better than Topher’s suggestion being shot down immediately. 

Over the day, others had gathered at Hogwarts. There were a few redheads with multiple freckles, who had to be Ron’s family - mother and father and two older brothers. One of the brothers had a fang earring, which was really cool. The other had burn scars up and down his arms, which was less cool and highly worrying. It made Alabaster think of dragons, and, for once, pray to every god he could think of that they weren’t real. They had been nice enough to introduce themselves, and with them the rest of the Weasleys.

Molly and Arthur and Bill and Charlie and Percy and Fred and George and Ron and Ginny. So many names to remember, and it took Alabaster a while to actually be able to correctly name Fred and George, especially since they kept switching their names around, an ongoing joke that Fahra thought was brilliant and Alabaster knew he would grow to accept but still be annoyed by it.

Apparently, they were bringing in government people, which Alabaster was not impressed with, especially with these so called Aurors, which Fahra had dubbed ‘wizard cops’. He did note a head of bubblegum pink hair amongst them, and the woman it belonged to (‘Dora -’ ‘Please call me Tonks’) had greeted Charlie with a hug, so Alabaster supposed they may be slightly better than the cops they’d had to dart into alleys to avoid when they were younger and stealing food from shops. There was also a man in a bowler hat - the Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge - a woman with a monocle - Amelia Bones, head of Magical Law Enforcement - and a bald, black man with a single gold earring - one of the higher ranking Aurors, Kingsley Shacklebolt. Apparently, Fudge had wanted to bring along another woman, but Dumbledore had stated very calmly that there were enough members of the Ministry here, and that anything of great importance that had to do with this woman’s department could be handled by one of the others he had brought in.

One the morning of the third day, Dumbledore entered the Great Hall with seven books, and any chatter silenced as all heads turned to look at him as he stood in front of the head table and addressed the room as a whole.

“As you all know by now, for the next few weeks we will be having some guests accompany us about our day to day lives.” He announced, and Alabaster watched as Cassandra resisted the urge to wave. “This has been for a reason, and this is because of these.” Dumbledore held up one of the books in the stack. “We have been granted the privilege of reading about what is to come, to change what the future holds for us. Anything read cannot be punished, as it has already happened, or has not yet come to pass, and nothing shall leave the castle - apart from the people within it. Oh, and the animals, I suppose.” He added at Dog’s affronted bark. It was definitely not dog behaviour, but Alabaster knew it wouldn’t be. Dog rested his muzzle on Alabaster’s thigh, and Alabaster scratched behind his ears as Dumbloedore waved his wand, causing a voice to speak from the book.

“Harry Potter,” it stated, calm and concise. “And the Philosopher’s Stone.”


	2. Special Delivery! It's a Baby! (The Boy Who Lived)

**The Boy Who Lived**

That was when the first groan sounded, much to Alabaster’s amusement, and of course it came from Harry. “You, I presume.”

“Yes.” He said, sounding so very unamused. “Not willingly, I assure you.”

“Surely it’s not...that bad?” A younger Gryffindor said, and Harry just groaned, sliding down in his seat. Hermione rolled her eyes.

“Sit up straight, please.” Harry did as asked, but didn’t look very pleased about it.

**Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, ... strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense.**

“And, of course, that is the exact sort of person who will get involved with things strange and mysterious.” Cedric from the Hufflepuff table said. “Unfortunately for them, I guess, since they don’t ‘hold with such nonsense’.”

“Unfortunately for them.” Fred agreed.

“But most amusing for us.” George added. Harry looked very much like he wanted to hide under the table again.

**Mr. Dursley was the director of a firm called Grunnings, which made drills.**

“What’s a drill?” A pureblood from the Ravenclaw table asked, and Topher blinked.

“You don’t have drills.” He said, voice deadpan. “Not having meds I could understand, but not the drill thing.”

“I’m assuming we have a spell for whatever it is a drill does.” Regulus reminded and Topher hummed thoughtfully. Alabaster felt Dog’s head move from its place on his thigh to look at Regulus as he spoke, and for a second he wondered if dogs could get whiplash, but figured that maybe his not a dog knew Regulus was supposed to be dead. It seemed to be the most likely conclusion, at any rate.

“It’s a machine. It makes holes in things, though usually you have a screw at the end. It’s used to join pieces of wood together, usually, like if you’re making a table or something.” Topher explained. He did a much better job than Alabaster would have. He probably would have given the description of the army drills he’d used to go through once upon a time and laughed at the confusion.

**He was a big, beefy man with hardly any neck, although he did have a very large mustache.**

Fahra wrinkled her nose. “I have a feeling he’s one of those people who doesn’t look good with facial hair. I mean, like, Topher pulls it off beautifully, and I think Dumbledore would look weird without a beard, but like...like Al would look  _ horrible _ with facial hair.”

“Wow, thanks.” Alabaster deadpanned, while Topher sat up a little straighter in his seat and Dumbledore stroked his beard, eyes twinkling.

“It isn’t a good look.” Harry agreed, figuring he may as well let it be known that he knew the Dursley’s, hence why they were in the book. “Trust me. He...he looks a bit like a cartoon walrus, actually.”

“Harry!” Molly scolded, though it was slightly halfhearted. Harry shrugged.

“I’m only telling the truth, Mrs Weasley.” He stated, smiling a little when Dog nuzzled into his hand fondly.

**Mrs. Dursley was thin and blonde and had nearly twice the usual amount of neck, ... spying on the neighbors.**

“Is her neck compensating for mister Dursley’s lack of one?” Angelina asked, voice deceptively innocent. It made Cassandra laugh and Harry grin.

“You know, now that you mention it, that is a very valid theory.” Harry admitted. “I mean, don’t people always want what they don’t have?”

“Typically.” Hermione agreed. “I want easy to manage hair, but alas, Parvati has that.”

“Your hair is lovely, Hermione.” Parvati responded easily. “I would kill for natural curls.”

“Please don’t.” Was her dorm mate's response, though she was blushing slightly.

**The Dursleys had a small son called Dudley and in their opinion there was no finer boy anywhere.**

Harry snorted at that. Loudly. “Sorry, but ‘small’ is the wrong word.

“I’m kind of worried about meeting this boy.” Topher bit his lip. “Judging by that you...don’t get along.”

“Oh, he hates me.” Harry said flippantly, which set off a few warning bells in a few people. “The feeling’s mutual.”

**The Dursleys had everything they wanted,... They didn't think they could bear it if anyone found out about the Potters.**

Katie Bell raised an eyebrow. “They didn’t want anyone to find out about you?”

“I mean, I don’t want anyone to find out I was related to them.” Harry admitted, causing a few snorts from the people sitting near him, and Lupin hiding his smile in his goblet. “So I guess the feeling’s mutual. They...aren’t the nicest people.”

“That’s not at all encouraging.” Alabaster muttered, and Dog let out a worried whine. Harry shrugged.

“You said your relationship with parents was bad.” He pointed out. “My relationship with my guardians is bad.”

“That’s...that’s not normal, Harry.” Dean pointed out.

“Well, I know that  _ now _ .”

**Mrs. Potter was Mrs. Dursley's sister,... because her sister and her good-for-nothing husband were as unDursleyish as it was possible to be.**

The whining from Dog grew more distressed and Lupin pinched the bridge of his nose, hard.

“UnDursleyish isn’t a word.” Padma felt like pointing out needlessly, but it stopped the comments that would have been made in defence of the late Potters and their son as many people snorted at that.

“I think there may be some potential.” Terry Boot suggested from next to her. “I mean, all words weren’t words at some point, before we decided they were.”

“How would you describe unDursleyish in the dictionary, though?” Cho asked and Terry mimed pondering that question.

“Stick a picture of Harry beneath it, I guess.” He said, and got a loud ‘thanks’ from Harry in response.

**The Dursleys shuddered to think what the neighbors would say if the Potters arrived in the street.**

“Nothing, considering the fact Lily was Muggleborn and knew how to act around Muggles.” McGonagall rolled her eyes. Cassandra’s narrowed in confusion.

“Muggles?” She asked.

“Non magical people.” Bill explained.

“Oh. Why don’t you just call them that, then?” She asked, to which no one really had a good explanation for.

“It’s...too long?” Ron hazarded and Cassandra shrugged.

“I guess it’s like how we use the term mortal.” Alabaster decided. “Or mundane. It’s just quicker, even if it sounds...insulting, almost?”

“It does a bit, doesn’t it?” Hermione agreed, humming in thought.

**The Dursleys knew that the Potters had a small son, too,... they didn't want Dudley mixing with a child like that.**

“Oh gods, they would hate Al.” Fahra said, eyes twinkling. “This boy was a disaster. Pulled a lone ranger act when I first met him, all ‘I work better alone’.”

“I do work better alone.” Alabaster defended, earning snorts from three demigods. “I do!”

“Babe, you don’t.” Topher said, and Alabaster grumbled.

“Traitor.”

“I don’t get how that would make these Dursleys hate him.” Lee commented.

“He wore a ratty, too big coat, jeans that had holes in the knees and ratty converse that hadn’t been washed in gods know how long.” Fahra stated. “Also he definitely hadn’t combed his hair.”

“Oh, shut up.”

**When Mr. and Mrs. Dursley woke up on the dull, ... Mr. Dursley hummed as he picked out his most boring tie for work,**

The Weasley twins' noses wrinkled in unison. The most boring tie? Their minds immediately pictured something monochrome. They thought the Hogwarts uniform lacked individuality - it sort of did, but as long as a student wore robes and house colours during school hours, they were allowed to...bend the rules a little bit. Some girls in Hufflepuff had brooches pinned to their robes, some others using them to fasten cloaks together during colder months. As long as jewelry wasn’t obnoxiously distracting, that could be worn.

Little pieces of individuality, and this man who could wear whatever he wanted to work as long as it was smart chose his most boring tie?

That said a lot about his personality, or lack of one.

**and Mrs. Dursley gossiped away happily as she wrestled a screaming Dudley into his high chair.**

“He seems well behaved.” Bill deadpanned.

“He is a baby at this point.” Ginny pointed out tentatively. “Maybe he grows out of it?”

“Gin, he doesn’t.” Harry answered the rhetorical question, oblivious to the slight pink flush rising to her cheeks. “Trust me. If anything, he gets worse.”

“Unbelievable.” Molly muttered under her breath. If any of her children had gotten that bad...well, they wouldn’t stay that way for long. Not to say she would hit them, she would never lay a hand on her child, but she would scold them and send them to their rooms.

Or, maybe in Percy’s case, as unlikely as he was to ever cause trouble, make them socialise for once.

**None of them noticed a large, tawny owl flutter past the window.**

Cassandra perked up. “Owl.” She said, voice perky. “I like owls.”

“You have never liked owls in particular before, Cassie.” Fahra pointed out.

“But this is distinctively not normal owl behaviour.” Cassandra said. “Which means it’s strange. Which means magic. Which means wizards and Alabaster is probably going to hide his head against the table again.”

“It’s just an owl.” Alabaster said. “It’s not like it’s a...a...I don’t know, an elf?”

“Oh, elves exist.” George said, only to watch Alabaster’s face drop and his head hit the table with a dull thud. Harry patted his shoulder.

“It’s not all bad.” He said, and only got a distressed groan in response. “My first introduction to an elf wasn’t the best, but it turned out fine.”

**At half past eight, Mr. Dursley picked up his briefcase, ... Dudley was now having a tantrum and throwing his cereal at the walls.**

Molly repeated the word ‘unbelievable’ again. Regulus shuddered.

“If I or my brother had acted like that, mother would have hexed us.” He said, and was given a concerned look from Topher, which was unexpected but...nice, he supposed. Better than pity. “I never got hexed.”

He decided against mentioning that he had been hexed for things other than appalling table manners. He decided against mentioning that Sirius had been cursed much more than him, and thought that Azkaban was too bad for his big brother, who had stood in front of Regulus before his Hogwarts days and taken hexes for him. Death, he thought, would have been kinder than that prison, and no matter how much horror there was regarding a madman's escape, Regulus knew his brother would be revelling in the freedom he now had.

Sirius had never liked being caged. Regulus hoped he wouldn’t do anything stupid, but Merlin he knew his brother, and knew that since Harry was here, he would find a way to see him. Not kill him, despite what everyone else believed. Regulus knew Sirius, and knew very well that his reckless idiot of a brother would never have joined Voldemort, not even with a wand at his head.

He didn’t voice this, though. He wasn’t sure he would be believed, and his eyes flickered to the book stack. Surely, the truth would come out at some point, and either Regulus would be proved right, or it would be proven that he didn’t know his big brother as well as he thought he did.

**"Little tyke," chortled Mr. Dursley as he left the house…. first sign of something peculiar -- a cat reading a map.**

“Ugh.” Alabaster grumbled against the table. “Why can’t things be  _ normal _ ?”

“This is literally a book, regarding my life, that is going to tell the future.” Harry pointed out. “None of this is normal.”

“Exactly.”

“Isn’t your mother a goddess?” Hermione asked, and Alabaster let out another, loud groan from where his head was hidden against his arms.

“Please, stop for two seconds, I want to not realise how fu- messed up this entire thing is.” Charlie disguised his snort as a cough at the hastily amended word.

**For a second, Mr. Dursley didn't realize what he had seen... What could he have been thinking of? It must have been a trick of the light.**

“If only it were that.” Alabaster sighed heavily. “If only.”

“You know, your absolute hatred of the wizarding world is rather offensive.” Percy didn’t sound offended, but Alabaster figured he should clear things up.

“I had everything compartmentalised into neat boxes in my mind. With labels and a door I could lock when people try to invade my headspace. Again. If I had a dollar for every time someone got into my head without my permission, I would have two dollars, which isn’t much but it’s weird that it happened twice.” That earned him a laugh from Ron. “Now I have to add more boxes. I really don’t want to add more boxes to the way my mind is organised.”

“Your mind is so nice.” Topher sighed almost dreamily. “It’s all nice and orderly and calm.”

“Only for your sake. Anyone else would be met with a steel door.”

“I’m touched. Truly.”

**Mr. Dursley blinked and stared at the cat. It stared back….looking at the sign; cats couldn't read maps or signs.**

“They might be able to. We don’t know.” Alabaster pointed an accusing finger at the Ravenclaw who said that.

“Stop it.” He said. “Cat’s can’t read maps or signs and I will die on this hill.”

“Animagi can.” Lupin said and Alabaster felt his heart fill with dread.

“Do I want to know?”

“...Probably not.” Lupin admitted and Alabaster slumped in his seat. Dog pressed his nose against his neck, probably in an attempt to console him, but it only left a wet patch where his nose had been. Alabaster sighed, but scratched behind one of Dog’s ears in thanks, smiling a little at the steady thump of his wagging tail against the floor.

**Mr. Dursley gave himself a little shake and put the cat out of his mind. ... large order of drills he was hoping to get that day.**

“Bor-ing.” Fred sang, letting out an over exaggerated yawn. “Please, please tell me this gets interesting at some point?”

“Considering the title of the chapter is ‘The Boy Who Lived’, Harry must pop up sooner or later.” Oliver Wood pointed out. “Just got to wait it out.”

“I might die if I have to hear more about how boring this man is.” George said. “Harry, how are you related to him?”

“My aunt married him.” Harry said.

“Why?”

“Beats me.”

**But on the edge of town, drills were driven out of his mind by something else... strangely dressed people about. People in cloaks.**

“Bold fashion statement, that.” Cassandra’s eyes were twinkling merrily. “I think I’d look good in a cloak.”

“I think that you are adapting far too well to being in a Scottish castle surrounded by wizards.” Alabaster said.

“Might as well enjoy it.” She shrugged. “Besides, I could mope, but you took the role of the kill joy so I can’t do that.”

“I raised you from a tiny seven year old and this is the thanks I get?”

“Eh, Topher did most of the raising.” Cassandra had a sip of pumpkin juice and Alabaster scowled at her.

**Mr. Dursley couldn't bear people who dressed in funny clothes -- the getups you saw on young people!... weirdos standing quite close by.**

“Weirdos?!” The offended exclamation came from the Slytherin table, which had been silently listening until Theodore Nott couldn’t hold back a comment. “Says the man who purposely chooses the most boring tie?!”

“Theo, please.” The boy sitting next to him, the dark skinned Blaise Zabini, pinched the bridge of his nose as though to ward off an oncoming headache.

“You’re all completely mad.” Fahra said. “But here’s something I’ve learned - all the best people are.”

“Alice in Wonderland?” Hermione stated and Fahra nodded.

“My dad used to read it to me when I was little.”

**They were whispering excitedly together…. and wearing an emerald-green cloak! The nerve of him!**

“Yes, the absolute nerve!” Lee Jordan put on a pompous voice to go with his comment, earning some snickers. “Green? How dare he!”

“I like green.” Alabaster muttered, pouting a little.

“But it’s Slytherin, green.” Lee retorted, earning a few disdainful cries from the younger Slytherins and sneers from the older ones. Alabaster raised an eyebrow.

“Your point being…?”

“Well...it’s...it’s Slytherin.”

“Great reasoning there, Lee.” Alabaster rolled his eyes. “You have convinced me that green is abhorrent because Slytherin house is, apparently, Slytherin. Never knew that.”

“Has anyone told you you’re actually a little shit?” Bill asked, ignoring his mother’s scandalised ‘William!’. Alabaster shrugged a little in response.

“Eh, a few.”

**But then it struck Mr. Dursley that this was probably some silly stunt -- these people were obviously collecting for something... yes, that would be it.**

“Why would they be...collecting?” A young girl from Slytherin asked, her voice tentative after the previous comment but still.

“For charities and such.” Hermione’s voice was kind. “A lot of the time, Muggles dress up to raise more money. It draws more attention to them.”

“Oh.” She blinked, before managing a tiny smile. “Thank you.”

**The traffic moved on and a few minutes later, Mr. Dursley arrived in the Grunnings parking lot, his mind back on drills.**

“What is so exciting about machines that make holes?” Seamus asked, flummoxed. “Drills are not that exciting!”

“It’s how he makes money.” Harry’s voice was dry. “And there is nothing Uncle Vernon loves more than his money.”

“Sounds like an absolute dick.”

“Alabaster!” Topher chided.

“I’ve heard worse.” Harry assured, which wasn’t very assuring. Topher was seriously considering a swear jar, though. He didn’t want any of the four of them teaching eleven year olds how to swear. He was sure it wouldn’t go over well in the end.

**Mr. Dursley always sat with his back to the window in his office on the ninth floor. ... they pointed and gazed open-mouthed as owl after owl sped overhead.**

“That’s a breach of the Statute of Secrecy.” Regulus was rubbing his temples. “What’s happened?”

“Do you not have something like the Mist?”

“Of course we have mist.” Ginny raised an eyebrow. “Why wouldn’t we?”

“No, not mist,  _ the  _ Mist.” Cassandra corrected. “It’s something that shields the magical world from the eyes of most mundane people. Some can see through it, but it’s rare and sometimes fades when they get older.”

“That sounds so much safer than removing someone’s memory of more magical events.” Hermione said. Topher felt his eye twitch.

“Wait, what?”

While this conversation was happening, along with Topher’s muttering of how damaging that altering the mind could be for someone, a lot of people at the head table had figured out what day it was, and Remus felt grief swell up in him, fresh and new, even more so knowing that Sirius...well, he had to be the dog that Alabaster had referred to as Dog, but he hadn’t done anything yet - couldn’t, what with the amount of people. It took a lot of strength for him to not curse him, to hex and rage and scream but Sirius...he had always been his friend, maybe more if things hadn’t happened as they had. So he kept quiet, biding his time. All would be revealed, soon.

There was a book, after all, titled The Prisoner of Azkaban, and there was only one prisoner Remus thought that could refer to.

**Most of them had never seen an owl even at nighttime. ... He yelled at five different people. He made several important telephone calls and shouted a bit more.**

“That’s worrying.” Hannah Abbot glanced over at Harry nervously, hoping he wouldn’t catch her gaze. Someone yelling that much was not good, as far as she was concerned. Yelling meant anger and when some people were angry, they got violent.

This mister Dursley seemed like the type of man to get violent.

“I’m...I’m sure it’ll be ok.” Susan Bones attempted to comfort her friend, but Hannah shook her head.

“But what if it’s not?” Things got pretty quiet and downcast after that, which was odd for the third year Hufflepuffs - they were usually a happy group, though that had changed after Justin Finch-Fletchley had been petrified the previous year.

**He was in a very good mood until lunchtime, when he thought he'd stretch his legs and walk across the road to buy himself a bun from the bakery.**

“I was almost worried for a second, there.” Harry feigned heaving a sigh of relief. “Imagining Uncle Vernon walking for enjoyment - scary thought, that.”

“Your relatives sound horrible.” Cassandra said. Harry sighed, this one real and resigned, almost.

“They are.” He said, and oh. Oh, that was bad. Remus chanced a glance at McGonagall, whose lips had gone thin and white. She was clearly not pleased with that reveal, and it made Remus nervous.

He had been so sure that Harry was safe, assured by Dumbledore that he was happy and healthy but this...this didn’t sound happy, never mind healthy.

**He'd forgotten all about the people in cloaks...**

**"The Potters, that's right, that's what I heard--"**

**"-- yes, their son, Harry--"**

“What about you?” Fahra raised an eyebrow, as much of the room burst into whispering. A lot of older students had twigged onto what was happening, what this day meant, and Harry could feel pitying eyes on him.

“Oh.” Alabaster’s voice was quiet, like he, too, had realised, and glanced over at the boy who was attempting to sink under the table. “You ok there, kid?”

“Fine.” He managed, though he was reliving his mother screaming, screaming, pleading… “Actually, I feel a little sick.”

“Want to leave or will you be alright?” There wasn’t an ounce of pity in Alabaster’s voice, just raw understanding, and Harry wondered what had happened to make him understand. Because Harry didn’t doubt for a second that he didn’t.

“I might stay under the table?” Harry managed and Alabaster nodded.

“Alright. If you need to leave, I’ll make sure they don’t notice.” He gave a wink and Harry finally decided to just sit on the floor beneath the Gryffindor table. Dog went over and lay on his lap, and Harry tangled his fingers in long, black fur, burying his face against the back of Dog’s neck.

**Mr. Dursley stopped dead. Fear flooded him. He looked back at the whisperers as if he wanted to say something to them, but thought better of it.**

“Amazing - he had a smart thought.” Alicia deadpanned, earning a snort from the boy still hiding under the table. She really didn’t like the sound of this man, nor the comments the smallest member of the Quidditch team made regarding him. She, along with the rest of the members, had become rather protective of Harry, especially since in the last two years his Quidditch matches had been...more dangerous than usual. Now, with dementors on the grounds and Harry’s reaction to them, they were worried about how that might affect his flying. Not necessarily because they wanted to win - though they definitely wanted to, have Wood end his final year on a high note - but because if Harry nearly died while playing Quidditch one more time...

**He dashed back across the road, hurried up to his office, ... stroked his mustache, thinking... no, he was being stupid.**

“As usual.” Draco was surprised the words came from him, droll and sarcastic, but it earned snorts from a majority of the room, even from those who didn’t like Malfoy. It wasn’t surprising people didn’t like him - Draco didn’t necessarily want most of the people at Hogwarts to like him. His father most definitely would not approve of him befriending Muggleborns and half-bloods and blood traitors. He had friends with the same thoughts in Slytherin, though...well, Pansy and Blaise were brilliant, and Theo, though not one to join gangs, was also alright, but still. That was three people in his year - Flint may graduate this year, and Terrence hadn’t been keen on him since he’d taken his place on the team in his second year. Maybe he wanted, just a little, to interact with other houses, other students - but he left a bad impression, a bad taste in people’s mouths, and therefore people from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw would take cues from Gryffindor and not interact with him unless necessary.

It shouldn’t be as big an issue as it was, but still. Draco liked his friends, but wondered, sometimes, what could have happened if Potter had taken his hand on the train that day.

**Potter wasn't such an unusual name. ... Come to think of it, he wasn't even sure his nephew was called Harry.**

“...What?” Ron’s voice had gone quiet, the sort of quiet that preceded anger. Hesitantly, Ginny reached out to place a hand on her brother’s arm, and he seemed to lose the tenseness that had suddenly overtaken him. “Harry, mate, please tell me he knows your name now?”

“...That might be a lie.” Harry’s voice was quiet from where he was still sitting under the table. Ron swore, and Molly was too stunned to reprimand him. The fact that this man didn’t know his nephew's  _ name _ ...

**He'd never even seen the boy. It might have been Harvey. Or Harold.**

Ron let out a noise between distressed and angry, while Hermione ground her teeth in a way that would have made her parent’s cry in despair. Oh, they knew Harry and his relatives didn’t exactly get on, but to not know his name…

The comment he’d made at the end of his first year, about them only being disappointed that he hadn’t been killed, was looking less and less likely to have just been a joke. They were hoping that, maybe, just maybe, things would get better. But judging from everything, it only got worse.

Ron could still remember the bars on Harry’s windows the summer before second year, his too gaunt face on the train in first year, and it made him sick to his stomach.

**There was no point in worrying Mrs. Dursley; she always got so upset at any mention of her sister…. he was still so worried that he walked straight into someone just outside the door.**

“And they promptly died.” Harry continued in the same tone of voice as the narrator, and that earned a giggle from Cassandra.

“Harry…” Molly’s voice wasn’t hitting the ‘reprimanding’ tone at all, instead sounding almost exasperatedly fond.

“Joking!” He said, but didn’t emerge from under the table.

“Want some company, mate?” Ron asked, and there was silence before -

“Yeah, sure.” And Ron joined Harry under the table, followed by Hermione. This earned Hermione a delicate sniff from Dog, and Ron a wet lick from him. Ron grumbled something about dogs seeming to always want to lick him, wiping off the slobber from his cheek with the sleeve of his robe.

**"Sorry," he grunted, as the tiny old man stumbled and almost fell. It was a few seconds before Mr. Dursley realized that the man was wearing a violet cloak. ... Rejoice, for You-Know-Who has gone at last! Even Muggles like yourself should be celebrating this happy, happy day!"**

The laugh that came from Regulus was slightly hysterical, but also full of relief. “You...you mean he’s gone? You...you did it?” There was no mistaking the relief in his voice, the spark in his eyes when he looked at Dumbledore. He knew that Voldemort had made a horcrux, but if Kreacher had destroyed it...Voldemort had met his match, and he was dead. He was  _ dead _ and Regulus was somehow, miraculously  _ alive _ in this future where he was f _ ree of him _ .

“It certainly seems that way, Mister Black.” Dumbledore said, and Regulus had to bury his head in his hands to make sure he didn’t cry with the complete and utter relief flooding him.

No one had the heart to tell the man about the incident in first year. He would find out, eventually, but for now they let him believe the Dark Lord that he must have believed in at some point, was dead.

“But you...you followed him, didn’t you?” Draco once again spoke up, and Regulus’ voice was ragged when he answered.

“I did. I believed him for so long, his philosophies...but he was wrong.” There was a conviction in his voice that none could deny. “ _ I _ was wrong. I was  _ sixteen _ when I took the mark, young and naive. I was wrong, and I found out much, much too late how wrong I was. I tried to amend the wrong I had done, the people I…” His words choked off, and he swallowed hoarsely. “I was supposed to die, I was r _ eady _ to - but, for some reason, I didn’t. For some reason, I’m here. And I cannot regret that I have been given a second chance.” Oh, and gods above, did Alabaster get the sudden relief that he had been given a chance to fix past mistakes. Alabaster couldn’t fix his, but...he regretted it, oh gods how he regretted it, but he was doing what he believed was right. He couldn’t regret trying to earn his mother, others like him, some respect and recognition - but the men, no the  _ children _ , who had died under his command?

That, he regretted.

**And the old man hugged Mr. Dursley around the middle and walked off.**

**... hoping he was imagining things, which he had never hoped before, because he didn't approve of imagination.**

“I...am so confused.” Padma blinked. “How can someone not approve of imagination?”

“He...he’s completely mad, isn’t he?” Penelope Clearwater sounded rather faint.

“If you think this is bad, you’re going to be tearing your hair out when it comes to my Hogwarts letters.” Harry said cheerfully from his spot - still under the table. Wasn’t it getting rather cramped under there?

Neville noticed the word letters - not letter - and felt something like dread fill him, but also excitement. Just how many letters had Hogwarts sent?

**As he pulled into the driveway of number four, the first thing he saw -- and it didn't improve his mood -- was the tabby cat he'd spotted that morning. ...**

**"Shoo!" said Mr. Dursley loudly.**

**The cat didn't move. It just gave him a stern look.**

By now, a few eyes were on Professor McGonagall, who merely raised an eyebrow.

“Minerva, why were you sitting on a wall for the better part of a day?” Pomona asked, voice amused, only for the answer to be cut off by a loud, pained noise from the Gryffindor table. The culprit was, to no one's surprise, Alabaster.

“Why is this happening?” He asked the open air. “Why can wizards turn into animals?”

“Wait, wizards can turn into animals?!” Cassandra looked like she was vibrating with excitement. “Can all wizards turn into animals?”

“If they’re particularly gifted in transfiguration - the changing of something into another.” McGonagall answered, watching as Cassandra’s blue eyes grew wide with excitement and Alabaster’s head hit the table with a thud and he released a pained noise from the back of his throat. “Are you quite alright, Mister Torrington?”

“I hate everything.” He muttered against the wood. Charlie leaned over to pat his back sympathetically.

**Was this normal cat behavior? ... He was still determined not to mention anything to his wife.**

Arthur, who knew how badly things went if you didn’t speak to your wife or partner about things bothering you, felt a tiny flash of sympathy for Vernon. Until he remembered Harry’s hateful comments towards him, how he said the man  _ hated _ him, and any pity he may have felt towards him vanished like dew in sunlight. He didn’t deserve it.

**Mrs. Dursley had had a nice, normal day. She told him over dinner all about Mrs. Next Door's problems with her daughter and how Dudley had learned a new word ("Won't!").**

“Charming.” Daphne Greengrass said, adding a dainty, disdainful sniff onto the end of her comment. It made her little sister, Astoria, let out a laugh, which made it worth the looks she got from the other tables. She wasn’t one to speak out much, but she had to say something - these muggles seemed like the worst sort.

**Mr. Dursley tried to act normally. ...Experts are unable to explain why the owls have suddenly changed their sleeping pattern." The newscaster allowed himself a grin. "Most mysterious. And now, over to Jim McGuffin with the weather. Going to be any more showers of owls tonight, Jim?"**

“This is actually...really bad.” Cho bit her lower lip. “I know what day it was, but we really were risking exposure.”

“The war lasted eleven years.” It was Amelia who spoke, the first words from anyone from the Ministry had spoken since the reading started. “There was a lot of reason for us to celebrate. No, it was not the smartest action, nor the safest, but we were all relieved. Even those who...who had lost everything to the war.” Her eyes flickered to her niece, who was being pulled into a side hug by Hannah. She watched as Regulus Black - admitted to being a Death Eater, though he had said he had defected - hid his head in his hands, shoulders shaking only slightly with emotion. She wondered how many he’d killed, how many he tortured. She wondered if he started at sixteen, seventeen.

She wondered, almost offhandedly, if he had still been a student when he was supposed to have died. It made her impossibly sad - so young, to have been dragged into a cult even if he had believed the views. The Black family were so entrenched in the dark arts, and to know Sirius, who had always been a Gryffindor at heart, had not been able to turn his back on it like his brother had, even if it was a last minute change of heart…

It was sad, to think how many lives had been destroyed by the actions of one man, who had dragged others along with him.

**"Well, Ted,"**

_ Huh _ , Tonks thought.  _ Wonder if it’s dad? _ It was a rather silly thought, though - Ted was a rather common name. Still, if it was her dad, it wasn’t all that bad - it meant they were mentioned in the books. It meant that, maybe, this was why she was here.

She had no idea what role she would play, if any, but Tonks hoped it was a good one.

**said the weatherman,... a downpour of shooting stars! Perhaps people have been celebrating Bonfire Night early -- it's not until next week, folks! But I can promise a wet night tonight."**

“I mean, they’re making up excuses themselves, I suppose…” Hermione trailed off.

“I’m sorry, but I have no idea what Bonfire Night is.” Fahra admitted.

“I think it’s only celebrated over here.” Arthur looked eager to explain some muggle knowledge - after all, it was a rather big deal for them. “Someone called Guy Fawkes was going to blow up the Houses of Parliament, but the plot was foiled. So we celebrate it every 5th November by setting off fireworks and lighting bonfires.”

“Oh, so like the 4th of July for us.” Topher nodded. “Independence day - I suppose you lot wouldn’t much like that.”

“Ugh, Americans.” Hermione’s voice was full of false disgust, easily heard, and it caused a few laughs.

**Mr. Dursley sat frozen in his armchair. Shooting stars all over Britain? Owls flying by daylight? Mysterious people in cloaks all over the place? ...**

**As he had expected, Mrs. Dursley looked shocked and angry. After all, they normally pretended she didn't have a sister.**

“Ouch.” Fred flinched a bit. “That’s harsh. Pretending you don’t have a sibling.”

“Even if we have to deal with Percy being a bit of a prat -” George started, and Percy let out an indignant noise at that, even as Molly opened her mouth to scold George.

“We wouldn’t pretend we don’t know him.” Fred continued, cutting off Molly’s words.

“He’s our  _ brother _ .” They both finished in unison, and that seemed to placate him somewhat.

“You’re both annoying and brash and make far too much fun of me sometimes.” Percy started, pausing slightly as the words settled in and the twins looked slightly abashed - maybe they did pick on him a bit too much, but he made it so easy. Should they lay off a bit? “But you’re still my brothers and I love you.”

“Aw, Perce.” Fred pretended to wipe away a tear.

“You’re such a sap.” George said and Percy rolled his eyes.

“Why do I bother?” He wondered, even as Ron moved a hand to curl around his ankle from under the table in a mimicry of a hand hold and Ginny wrapped her arms around his middle and squeezed him tightly. Percy absently rested a hand on top of her hair, and shared a smile with Bill and Charlie.

They were  _ family _ , and nothing was going to change that.

**"No," she said sharply. "Why?"**

**"Funny stuff on the news," Mr. Dursley mumbled. "Owls... shooting stars... and there were a lot of funny-looking people in town today..."**

**"So?" snapped Mrs. Dursley.**

**"Well, I just thought... maybe... it was something to do with... you know... her crowd."**

Severus resisted the urge to comment. Of course Tuney wouldn’t call them what they were. She had resented Lily ever since she had first shown signs of magic, even if Lily was still desperate to keep a good relationship with her sister. If anything, it got worse when Lily went to Hogwarts and came back glowing with the potential of what magic could do, of what she could become in the wizarding world.

He still hated himself for revealing the prophecy, hated himself so much. Maybe, just maybe, he hated himself a little for being so focused on his first friend that he’d disregarded the life of her son, of Alice and Frank and Neville, had put them at risk.

Lily had so much potential, she could have revolutionised potions or charms or anything she put her mind too. So much potential, cut short by a curse fired from the man Severus had once followed.

**Mrs. Dursley sipped her tea through pursed lips. Mr. Dursley wondered whether he dared tell her he'd heard the name "Potter." He decided he didn't dare.**

“Coward.” Ginny glared at the book. “It’s just a silly name.”

“What, like you lot won’t say Voldemort?” Harry didn’t need to be above the table to see that some people flinched. Maybe he could understand Regulus, after all as far as he knew he had died betraying Voldemort so maybe some of that lingered, but seriously. “It’s just a silly name.”

“Gods above, you’re a little shit.” Alabaster’s voice was all fond and indulgent, even when Topher elbowed him in light reprimand. Harry, Alabaster decided, was probably his favourite.

**Instead he said, as casually as he could, "Their son -- he'd be about Dudley's age now, wouldn't he?"**

**"I suppose so," said Mrs. Dursley stiffly.**

“I’m not surprised they don’t know your birthday, considering how they didn’t know your name.” Angelina deadpanned. “Harry, these people are awful.”

“I have to live with them.” Harry retorted.

“How did you survive?” Angelina meant it as a joke, but it fell a little flat.

“Luck, I guess.” Harry decided after a bit. “Also, I’m too clever for them.”

“Thank Merlin for that.” Katie murmured.

**"What's his name again? Howard, isn't it?"**

**"Harry. Nasty, common name, if you ask me."**

“Better than Alabaster, at any rate.”

“I was wondering when the next insult to my name would come up.” Alabaster commented, even as most of the Gryffindors snorted. “I was ten when I picked out my name. Ten.”

“Picked out?” Colin Creevey’s brows furrowed slightly. “Your real name isn’t Alabaster?”

“Alabaster is a rock.” Fahra said. “Al thought it sounded cool.”

“Also, when you’re on the run, choosing a new name that isn’t yours helps people not track you down.” Alabaster added.

“I chose Topher for a completely different reason.” Topher said, and Alabaster was surprised he said that much on the subject of his name change - it wasn’t that he was uncomfortable about mentioning it to people, but more so how he decided that it wasn’t really anybody's business. “But he makes a good point. No one was looking for a Topher, so no one really...found me.”

“...You were on the streets.” Molly sounded slightly heartbroken. “When you were ten?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Alabaster didn’t know why he used that term, all he knew was that he let out a squawk of indignation when Molly pulled him into a hug. He felt itchy, suddenly, like it was too much, but fortunately let go pretty quickly.

“Sorry, dear.” She said, still sounding sad. “It’s just...so sad to hear.”

“I was on the streets at seven and I love hugs.” Cassandra said, and when Molly moved to pull her into a hug Cassandra soaked up the affection like a sponge.

**"Oh, yes," said Mr. Dursley, his heart sinking horribly. "Yes, I quite agree."**

**...The cat was still there. It was staring down Privet Drive as though it were waiting for something.**

“Or some _ one _ .” Dean muttered, glancing at McGonagall. Now it was practically confirmed she was the cat, Dean was suspecting she was waiting for a wizard...but waiting for them on a wall all day? Was she not meant to be there? Or was there something more regarding her practical surveillance of Privet Drive?

**Was he imagining things? Could all this have anything to do with the Potters? If it did... if it got out that they were related to a pair of -- well, he didn't think he could bear it.**

"I can barely bear being related to you." Alabaster told Fahra, voice teasing. It earned him a smack on the shoulder and then a hug that was on the wrong side of too tight. "Ok, I deserved that - Fahra, I can't  _ breathe _ ."

"You asked for it." She muttered into the shoulder of his jacket. "You're a right bastard."

"Love you too, you jerk." Alabaster managed to free his arms enough to return the hug and press a brotherly kiss to the top of Fahra's hair, which caused her to pull away with a sound of disgust.

It had stopped any indignant comments in their tracks, at the very least, which meant Alabaster's risky comment had paid off at least.

**The Dursleys got into bed…. The Potters knew very well what he and Petunia thought about them and their kind...**

“Ew.” Topher’s nose wrinkled. “Hate that term. ‘Their kind’. Blegh.”

“I’m not overly fond of it.” Pomona agreed. “But why would it offend you?”

“Demigod.” Topher replied. “Also it makes you seem...inhuman, in a way. I have ah...experienced that.”

“Is this the time Al broke that guy's nose and he got a split lip?” Cassandra asked.

“Or the time he got bruised knuckles and the person who dared refer to you as anything but Topher or sir got a black eye?” Fahra added. Alabaster could feel his face grow red as eyes turned to him, wide and disbelieving.

“...Both.” Topher decided on.

“Well, they were asking for it.” Alabaster muttered under his breath. “They shouldn’t have called you a slur.”

“There are better ways to deal with it than punching people, babe.” Topher said.

“Sometimes people don’t  _ listen _ .”

**He couldn't see how he and Petunia could get mixed up in anything that might be going on -- he yawned and turned over -- it couldn't affect them...**

**How very wrong he was.**

“Merlin, I wish he was.” Harry muttered and immediately Alabaster felt a wave of sympathy crash over him. It was decided, then.

If nothing was done to change the homelife of this kid, he was going to kidnap him. The same way he had with Cassandra, who had threatened him with death by windex after he, Topher and Fahra had killed the monster masquerading as a foster parent.

**Mr. Dursley might have been drifting into an uneasy sleep, but the cat on the wall outside was showing no sign of sleepiness.... In fact, it was nearly midnight before the cat moved at all.**

“The patience of a saint, right there.” Fahra muttered. “How the hell do you do it?”

“She doesn’t have ADHD.” Topher reminded, and Fahra let out a nod of understanding.

“...What’s ADHD?” Oliver Wood asked, and watched in fascination as Topher’s eye twitched again.

“I hate the wizarding world regarding issues relating to mental illnesses I swear to the gods -” He pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed deeply. “ADHD is short for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. It can form in many ways, but most demigods have issues regarding hyperactivity and impulsiveness - but it can also form in ways which make it hard to focus on things. Short attention span, unable to focus on one thing at a time is the inattentiveness, fidgeting and impatience and being highly reckless is the impulsiveness kicking in. Other things can come with this - dyslexia, for example, or depression.” He blinked. “Wait, you know what dyslexia is, right?”

“That’s the word thing, right? Where it’s hard to read and write.” Seamus watched, fascinated as Topher pulled an Alabaster and hit his head against the table, letting out a groan. Alabaster patted his back.

“In the simplest of terms? Yes.”

**A man appeared on the corner the cat had been watching, appeared so suddenly and silently you'd have thought he'd just popped out of the ground.**

“You can _ teleport _ ?!” Cassandra was bouncing in her seat again, and Filius felt his lips twitch upward.

“It’s called apparation.” He said.

“And you all can do it?”

“It’s taught at 17 years old to all witches and wizards.” Filius explained. “You have to have a license to be able to do it, as it can be dangerous if performed incorrectly.”

“Dangerous how?” Cassandra tilted her head, and it was Arthur who answered her.

“Sometimes they leave part of themselves behind.” He said and Cassandra scrunched her nose up in disgust.

**The cat's tail twitched and its eyes narrowed.**

**... He was tall, thin, and very old, judging by the silver of his hair and beard, which were both long enough to tuck into his belt.**

“And that, my dears, is what we call a health violation.” Topher said, and fortunately did not get any confused looks at this. It seemed there was at least some common sense in the wizarding world.

He was going to have to have a long, long talk with someone regarding mental health, though, because he wasn’t qualified to give therapy, he was 19 and apparently people here didn’t fucking know what ADHD was, nor had medication for things like depression and anxiety - no, a fucking cheering charm did  _ not _ count. It made him want to scream.

**He was wearing long robes, a purple cloak that swept the ground, and high-heeled, buckled boots…. This man's name was Albus Dumbledore.**

A few cheers went up at that, mostly from the Gryffindor table, but Alabaster didn’t feel pleased about the arrival of the headmaster on this street. The old man and his twinkling eyes and the way he attempted to look into his mind. He didn’t like him. Maybe it was his issue with authority figures, or maybe it was because Alabaster had people in his head too many times without his permission - and Topher never barged in, always asked, or Alabaster told him he could, and even so it was very rare. Whatever the reason, Alabaster didn’t like him, so he refused to cheer.

He noted, absently, that Harry’s voice hadn’t joined the cheers, and had to wonder why.

**Albus Dumbledore didn't seem to realize that he had just arrived in a street where everything from his name to his boots was unwelcome.**

“I knew perfectly well.” Dumbledore said. “I just preferred to not concern myself with the opinions of others.”

“In other words, you just didn’t care.” Fred said, earning him a look from Molly and a laugh from Dumbledore.

“Indeed, Mister Weasley.”

**He was busy rummaging in his cloak, looking for something. ... For some reason, the sight of the cat seemed to amuse him. He chuckled and muttered, "I should have known."**

“I assume you knew all along, Albus.” McGonagall said, looking slightly ruffled despite having done nothing. This book was setting her on edge - too accurate, she thought, and she hated the fact that someone - goddess or not - had thought to record it. She maybe worried a little about the effect it may have on Harry - this was his life that was being read, after all. A horrible invasion of privacy.

Albus, of course, didn’t answer her question, and McGonagall wasn’t at all surprised by the lack of one.

**He found what he was looking for in his inside pocket. It seemed to be a silver cigarette lighter…. He clicked it again -- the next lamp flickered into darkness.**

“So it does the direct opposite of Sunshine, here.” Fahra said, earning her a scowl from Cassandra.

“Don’t call me Sunshine, Glinda.”

“Ouch, low blow.” Fahra raised a hand to her heart. “That hurts, Cassie. That really hurts. Elphaba is so much cooler.”

“You don’t deserve that nickname.” Cassandra said with a haughty sniff. No one decided to comment on said nickname, nor the comment made by Fahra - they could work it out, honestly. The opposite of darkening a street was lighting it up, and Cassandra obviously didn’t like or want to discuss the nickname Fahra had given her.

**Twelve times he clicked the Put-Outer,**

“The correct term is ‘deluminator’, actually.” Dumbledore corrected the book. “And it is the only one in existence, an invention of mine.” He added the last part at the look of excitement on the Weasley twins faces and the look of trepidation on the face of every single teacher, only so that the professor’s could relax when the Weasley twins pouted in disappointment.

**until the only lights left on the whole street were two tiny pinpricks in the distance, which were the eyes of the cat watching him…. wouldn't be able to see anything that was happening down on the pavement.**

“An achievement in and of itself.” Harry muttered. “I swear to Merlin Aunt Petunia sees everything. No sense of privacy, that woman.”

“Don’t call your aunt ‘that woman’, Harry.” Hermione chided, though there was no real feeling to it. Harry felt like he had a sort of right to, though, as Aunt Petunia called him ‘boy’, ‘you’ and, on occasion, ‘freak’.

He could think of worse things to call Aunt Petunia, but decided not to bring them up, just as he didn’t bring up the names she called him.

**Dumbledore slipped the Put-Outer back inside his cloak and set off down the street toward number four, where he sat down on the wall next to the cat…. She, too, was wearing a cloak, an emerald one.**

“Betraying your house - shame on you, professor.” George shook his head in mock disappointment while Fred faked crying into his shoulder. McGonagall tried to look as severe and disapproving as possible, but it was softened by the very slight upturn of her lips. What could she say - she had a soft spot for the Weasley twins, even if they made her want to tear her hair out sometimes.

They reminded her of a certain quartet of boys from years ago who caused just as much, if not more, trouble.

**Her black hair was drawn into a tight bun. She looked distinctly ruffled.**

**...**

**"You'd be stiff if you'd been sitting on a brick wall all day," said Professor McGonagall.**

A few people let out impressed sounds at the words ‘all day’. Patience of a saint, indeed, though some supposed you had to have such to be a professor, not to mention be the head of the house where one of the defining traits was ‘reckless’. Though, if you asked any Gryffindor about that trait, they would deny it furiously - brave and chivalrous and...daring, instead of reckless and brash. It made them sound better, after all, just as Ravenclaws would not mention that they could sometimes be arrogant, or Hufflepuffs would refuse to admit that they were sometimes naive to a fault, or how Slytherins with their ambitions could sometimes become power hungry.

**"All day? When you could have been celebrating? I must have passed a dozen feasts and parties on my way here."**

Remus sighed heavily at that. Of course they were - at that point, no one in the wizarding world knew the truth of the whole story. Sure, rumours were flying about the Potters, but it didn’t seem to occur to them that they died. That they left Harry an orphan. Too drunk on relief, he supposed, though in that one night, Remus had lost  _ everything _ .

**Professor McGonagall sniffed angrily.**

**... "I heard it. Flocks of owls... shooting stars... Well, they're not completely stupid.**

“That came out as insulting, and I did not mean it that way.” Minerva realised how her words sounded, especially at the indignant sounds coming from Muggleborns. “More so that they should remain unaware of the magical world, and they shouldn’t be catching on to the fact that something...unnatural was happening that day. Fortunately, they came up with their own excuses for the blatant disregard for the Statute of Secrecy, and we should consider ourselves very fortunate that they did.”

**They were bound to notice something. Shooting stars down in Kent -- I'll bet that was Dedalus Diggle. He never had much sense."**

**"You can't blame them," said Dumbledore gently. "We've had precious little to celebrate for eleven years."**

“I still can’t believe...eleven years.” Regulus shook his head in disbelief. “Over a decade...Merlin, I never realised that by the time I...a decade.”

“Ours lasted...what, four, when we started rebelling?” Fahra hissed in an aside to Alabaster. “But so much longer if you include when he was recruiting. How long do you think it took this Voldemort to amass his army?”

“Much longer than eleven years.” Alabaster whispered back, and Fahra shuddered a little. “I’m trying not to think about it.”

**"I know that," said Professor McGonagall irritably…. "A fine thing it would be if, on the very day You-Know-Who**

“You know what? I don’t know who.” Alabaster kicked his feet up on the table, only for Topher to scowl and push them off in retaliation. “What would you do if someone genuinely had no clue who you were talking about? Like I only know because Harry has literally no regard for whoever he is and just uses his name.”

“I’m assuming it isn’t his real name.” Fahra added.

“Nope. His real name is Tom.” Harry agreed.

“Huh. So I changed my name to reflect my gender better, and he changed his to sound like a pretentious asshole.” Topher said sagely, and Molly attempted to comment about the use of the word ‘asshole’ but was drowned out by the laughter of students.

**seems to have disappeared at last, the Muggles found out about us all. I suppose he really has gone, Dumbledore?"**

**"It certainly seems so," said Dumbledore. "We have much to be thankful for. Would you care for a lemon drop?"**

“Oh, I love lemon drops!” Cassandra perked up at that. “You know what’s hard to get on the streets? Sweets. Mostly because Topher insisted on eating healthy.”

“Your diet is important and you were tiny.” Topher retorted. “I wasn’t going to give you easy access to sugar.”

“You should try some wizard sweets when you get the chance.” Seamus informed Cassandra. “Chocolate frogs are a must. I would say Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans, but they mean every flavour.” Cassandra pulled a face.

“Gross.”

“You haven’t tried one - I got one that tasted like sprouts once.” Neville pulled a face. “Can’t stand sprouts.”

“I can’t stand eggplant, so I’ll pass on those.” Cassandra decided. “Chocolate frogs are just...chocolate, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So I’ll try one of those at some point.”

**"A what?"**

**...**

**"No, thank you," said Professor McGonagall coldly, as though she didn't think this was the moment for lemon drops.**

“Considering the date, it really wasn’t.” Remus ran a hand through his grey streaked hair, looking world weary. “People are so busy celebrating that Voldemort was gone, they forgot people died, too. I lost some of my closest friends that day.”

“...You knew my parents?” Harry’s voice was small, almost uncertain, and he moved out from under the table to look at Remus’ kind, tired face.

“I did.” He admitted. “I was closer to James, but...yes, I knew them. I wanted to tell you, I did, but...well, I had tried to send letters, but I never got a response so I assumed -”

“I never got any.” Harry’s voice remained a soft thing. “Can you...can you tell me about them?”

“Of course.” Remus said, offering a smile. He tried not to wonder why Harry seemed willing to talk to a teacher he barely knew about his parents, but it made something squirm in his stomach uncomfortably. Then, there was the fact that none of his letters had apparently got through…

He tried not to focus on that. He was here now, and that had to be enough.

**"As I say, even if You-Know-Who has gone--"**

**...for eleven years I have been trying to persuade people to call him by his proper name: Voldemort."**

Flinches came from most of the room, much to the general confusion of the demigods in the room. They knew that sometimes names had power, especially when it came to monsters, but this was just a man...right?

**Professor McGonagall flinched, but Dumbledore, who was unsticking two lemon drops, seemed not to notice. "It all gets so confusing if we keep saying 'You-Know-Who.' I have never seen any reason to be frightened of saying Voldemort's name."**

“That’s different for us.” Fahra decided. “We have to be careful when speaking about monsters if we’re not warded or whatever. It’s like sending out a honing beacon, which just makes it worse considering they can smell us.”

“Our blood.” Alabaster clarified at the confused looks. “Smells different from mundane blood. Another lovely gift from half of your family.”

“You-know-who had a taboo on his name in the first war - saying his name would signal where you were.” Kingsley’s voice was deep and calm, but it helped the demigods understand why some people had flinched at the name.

**"I know you haven't, said Professor McGonagall, sounding half exasperated, half admiring….**

**"You flatter me," said Dumbledore calmly. "Voldemort had powers I will never have."**

Alabaster raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“You-Know-Who used dark magic.” Regulus explained. “Some of the darkest things. There are three curses - the unforgivables - that he excelled at using.”

“I don’t know if any magic can be classed as ‘dark’ exclusively.” Alabaster pondered. “I mean, any magic can be used for ill. It depends on the use.”

“One was used primarily for torture.” Regulus deadpanned, not noticing the way Neville winced. Alabaster cringed.

“Ok, yeah, that’s dark.”

**"Only because you're too -- well -- noble to use them."**

**"It's lucky it's dark. I haven't blushed so much since Madam Pomfrey told me she liked my new earmuffs."**

Regulus felt his lips twitch up despite himself at the disgusted noises the younger years let out at that. Sometimes he missed being so young - so naive and innocent. Well, not as naive and innocent as others, but not...not old enough to take the mark. He raised his hand to cover the mark over his robes almost unconsciously. Maybe...maybe after, he could figure out a way to cover it. He didn’t want the dark mark marring him anymore, no longer proud to have it inked into his flesh like a brand. He didn’t belong to the Dark Lord - not any more.

**Professor McGonagall shot a sharp look at Dumbledore and said "The owls are nothing next to the rumors that are flying around. You know what they're saying? About why he's disappeared? About what finally stopped him?"**

“Here we go.” Harry muttered, looking back under the table contemplatively. He was stopped from hiding when Dog placed his head on his knee, and Harry absently scratched behind his ears. Regulus looked at Harry speculatively, but didn’t comment. Not yet.

**It seemed that Professor McGonagall had reached the point she was most anxious to discuss, …. "is that last night Voldemort turned up in Godric's Hollow. He went to find the Potters. The rumor is that Lily and James Potter are -- are -- that they're -- dead."**

“Oh.” The sound was small, like Regulus hadn’t quite taken it in. “I knew someone had died but...even with what Remus said...I hadn’t thought…”

“That they died?” Harry guessed, voice wry and slightly agitated because now pitying looks were being directed his way. He didn’t want them, he didn’t want to remember his mother screaming but...but he wanted to, because it was the only time he had heard her voice. Ever. Regulus managed a small nod.

“I wasn’t in the same year as them but...they were both powerful, gifted, even if...well, I refused to believe a Muggleborn could  _ be _ powerful. A grave error on my part, obviously.” He blinked slowly. “Nevertheless, I am sorry for your loss - though I assume you’ve heard that a lot.”

“Too much, sometimes.” Harry sighed.

**Dumbledore bowed his head. Professor McGonagall gasped.**

**...**

**Dumbledore reached out and patted her on the shoulder. "I know... I know... " he said heavily.**

“It was the same every time.” McGonagall sighed heavily, the grief she felt at the confirmation flooding over her once more. “Every time a student I taught was confirmed dead...it didn’t matter if they were Death Eater or not in the end. They were all children, once.” There was some mutters at the Death Eater comment, but Regulus had to discreetly wipe his eyes. Had she felt the same when he went missing, when he had died? Why did he doubt it?

**Professor McGonagall's voice trembled as she went on. "That's not all. They're saying he tried to kill the Potter's son, Harry. ... but they're saying that when he couldn't kill Harry Potter, Voldemort's power somehow broke -- and that's why he's gone."**

Alabaster felt his brows furrow in contemplation. “Sounds like a powerful warding spell - more powerful than the one we put on the safe house.”

“Maybe a variant of some form?” Fahra suggested, ignorant at the stares Harry was getting. Harry was relieved they weren’t focusing on him at least. “Ours does have a powerful effect on those entering with malicious intent.”

“But that would’ve killed him as soon as he stepped foot on the property.”

“It’s explained later on.” Harry said. “But...you know warding?”

“Alabaster’s better at it.” Fahra admitted, watching her brother sit up a little taller. “It’s mostly runes and spellwork. We all have some control over The Mist so illusions and such come naturally, but that’s more so my power. You want to hide in a crowded street? Ask me. You want a room warded so your child of Hermes friend can’t steal your stuff? That’s Al’s area.”

**Dumbledore nodded glumly.**

**"It's -- it's true ?" faltered Professor McGonagall…. how in the name of heaven did Harry survive?"**

**"We can only guess," said Dumbledore. "We may never know."**

“Well, someone knows.” Topher said. “And some have a few theories.”

“I’m calling wards of some sort.” Alabaster decided. “That is the only thing that makes sense in my mind. If wards can stop monsters from sniffing you out, then they should be able to kill a man.”

**Professor McGonagall pulled out a lace handkerchief and dabbed at her eyes beneath her spectacles…. It had twelve hands but no numbers; instead, little planets were moving around the edge.**

“How….?” Cassandra trailed off, shaking her head. “Planets and stuff are unreliable when it comes to telling the time. Dates and stuff are different I think. I didn’t take astronomy.”

“You didn’t go to school between seven and eleven.” Alabaster deadpanned.

“And whose fault is that, Al?” Cassandra retorted. “Besides, I can do maths and stuff. I don’t need to know trigonometry or to memorise the periodic table.”

“I mean...she has a point.” An older Gryffindor Muggleborn pointed out, grinning when Cassandra pointed to them.

“Exactly!”

**It must have made sense to Dumbledore, though, because he put it back in his pocket and said, "Hagrid's late. I suppose it was he who told you I'd be here, by the way?"**

The trio of Gryffindor glanced at Hagrid and smiled at him. The half giant returned it - Merlin, was he fond of those three, even if they were prone to trouble at least ninety per cent of the time when they were at Hogwarts.

**"Yes," said Professor McGonagall. "And I don't suppose you're going to tell me why you're here, of all places?"**

**"I've come to bring Harry to his aunt and uncle. They're the only family he has left now."**

Harry let out a huff of annoyance. “I wish there weren’t - surely I have more family on my dad’s side?”

“Your dad was an only child.” Remus explained. “His parents died during the war. I’m not too sure about Lily, but I’m pretty sure her parents were killed after Lily told Voldemort to go stuff himself.”

“What, to his face?”

“...More so metaphorically speaking.”

“Gods she sounds like Al.” Fahra muttered. Alabaster raised a brow.

“I’m not that bad.”

“You literally yelled at the sky for Zeus to come down so you could punch him.” Topher said.

“You told me if your mum showed up you’d break her nose.” Harry added. Fahra just sighed heavily.

“Yep, sounds like Al.”

**"You don't mean - you can't mean the people who live here ?" ... You couldn't find two people who are less like us. And they've got this son -- I saw him kicking his mother all the way up the street, screaming for sweets. Harry Potter come and live here!"**

“Thank you, professor, for at least trying.” Harry murmured. He wished she’d protested harder, fought, but no. Dumbledore knew best - though he was beginning to doubt that. He had left him there, after all.

**"It's the best place for him," said Dumbledore firmly. "His aunt and uncle will be able to explain everything to him when he's older. I've written them a letter."**

A slightly disbelieving laugh came from Molly. “You...a letter? You told someone her sister died via a LETTER?” Molly’s voice had increased dramatically as most of the hall whispered incredulously to eachother. Dumbledore was going to try and explain to Harry’s aunt that his parents had died and she had to look after Harry via a letter?

“It seemed the best idea at the time.”

“If I found out my brother died during a letter -” Cassandra let out a bitter laugh. “I didn’t. I would have hated it. I hated seeing it more, but no, no. Not a letter. How impersonal is that? I don’t care how...how horrible they are, you need to tell someone. Not just write ‘oh, sorry, your sister died last night’.”

“What the fuck?” Topher whispered under his breath. Wizards were insane, he decided. Completely and utterly mental.

**"A letter?" repeated Professor McGonagall faintly,... He'll be famous -- a legend -- I wouldn't be surprised if today was known as Harry Potter day in the future -- there will be books written about Harry -- every child in our world will know his name!"**

“The irony is we are reading books about Harry now.” Charlie sounded faintly amused. Harry, meanwhile, had gone rather pale.

“There...there isn’t a Harry Potter day, is there?” He asked and Regulus had to make an effort not to laugh at the abject horror in the kids voice.

“No, there isn’t.” Filius confirmed, and the relief on Harry’s face was almost comical.

**"Exactly." said Dumbledore, looking very seriously over the top of his half-moon glasses. ... Can you see how much better off he'll be, growing up away from all that until he's ready to take it?"**

“But can you imagine him walking into this world without knowing?” Alicia raised a delicate eyebrow. “Everyone instinctively knowing who he is and Harry being confused as hell?”

“I was rather bewildered by it all.” Harry agreed. “Besides, I’d rather be raised by people who aren’t my aunt and uncle. I don’t think it would have changed much, except I’d know more about my parents than what scraps I know now.”

**Professor McGonagall opened her mouth, changed her mind, swallowed, and then said, "Yes -- yes, you're right, of course. But how is the boy getting here, Dumbledore?" She eyed his cloak suddenly as though she thought he might be hiding Harry underneath it.**

“That doesn’t seem very comfy.” Hermione’s eyes were twinkling with humour. Ron pulled a face.

“Mate, I hope you aren’t under Dumbledore’s cloak - er, no offence, professor.”

**"Hagrid's bringing him."**

**"You think it -- wise -- to trust Hagrid with something as important as this?"**

Cassandra looked over at Hagrid consideringly. “I mean, he’s pretty big. I’d trust him.”

“You know, I worry for you.” Topher sighed heavily. “I truly do.”

“I mean, would you want to fight him?” Cassandra gesticulated madly towards him. “Tell me you would, and I’d take it back!”

“You all concern me.” Alabaster muttered, earning a snort from Regulus.

**"I would trust Hagrid with my life," said Dumbledore.**

**... it swelled to a roar as they both looked up at the sky -- and a huge motorcycle fell out of the air and landed on the road in front of them.**

Dog let out an excited bark, once more confirming Remus’ suspicions that Dog wasn’t actually a dog. Honestly, if it was Sirius, he wasn’t doing a good job of laying low. Meanwhile, Alabaster had let out another long suffering groan and slumped down in his seat, while Cassandra let out a gasp of joy.

Remus was expecting a lot of that during the reading, honestly.

**If the motorcycle was huge, it was nothing to the man sitting astride it... his feet in their leather boots were like baby dolphins. In his vast, muscular arms he was holding a bundle of blankets.**

“That makes him sound terrifying.” Hermione was scowling slightly. “Hagrid is such a gentle soul!”

“But he looks scary. Wouldn’t want to pick a fight with him.” Fahra decided.

“Fahra picks fights with people daily.” Alabaster said, as though he didn’t do the exact same thing. Though they looked nothing alike, the way they acted proved they were siblings, at least. “Congrats. You have exactly one person she will not fight.”

**"Hagrid," said Dumbledore, sounding relieved. "At last. And where did you get that motorcycle?"**

**"Borrowed it, Professor Dumbledore, sir," said the giant, climbing carefully off the motorcycle as he spoke. "Young Sirius Black lent it to me. I've got him, sir."**

“Huh.” Regulus blinked. “Well. He always wanted something that would piss off mother. That...that would do it.” He ignored the sympathetic looks he was getting. “What I’m confused with is why he would give Hagrid the bike when...you know, I mean, I’m assuming he was at the Potters, right?” Harry was listening intently. Why...why would Black have been at his parents house? He...he didn’t know them, right?

Unless…

“So why didn’t he just...take Harry if he was a Death Eater?” The words nearly choked Regulus, felt odd on his tongue, referring to his brother as a blood purist when he was the furthest thing from it last Regulus knew. “Wouldn’t he have just...killed him?” The hall grew silent, contemplative.

“...An excellent question…” Amelia Bones murmured. Dog had moved to rest his head on Regulus’ leg at that comment, and got a gentle, slightly shaky hand running down his back.

**"No problems, were there?"**

**...Inside, just visible, was a baby boy, fast asleep. Under a tuft of jet-black hair over his forehead they could see a curiously shaped cut, like a bolt of lightning.**

Some girls were cooing at the description - especially Hermione, though that might just be to watch as Harry’s ears turned bright red in embarrassment.

“A lightning bolt?” Fahra asked, and Harry decided the best thing to do was push his fringe back out of the way of his scar, get it out of the way. Regulus turned deathly pale.

“What is it?”

“It’s the...wand movement.” He managed. “For the killing curse.”

“...Oh.” Harry made more of an effort to cover the scar with his fringe at that. “I had no idea.”

**"Is that where -- ?" whispered Professor McGonagall.**

**"Yes," said Dumbledore. "He'll have that scar forever."**

“Unfortunately.” Harry muttered quietly.

**"Couldn't you do something about it, Dumbledore?"**

**"Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground.**

“...Do I want to know how he got that?” Dean whispered to Seamus, who shook his head.

“I don’t think I want to know, mate.”

**Well -- give him here, Hagrid -- we'd better get this over with."**

**Dumbledore took Harry in his arms and turned toward the Dursleys' house.**

**"Could I -- could I say good-bye to him, sir?" asked Hagrid. He bent his great, shaggy head over Harry and gave him what must have been a very scratchy, whiskery kiss. Then, suddenly, Hagrid let out a howl like a wounded dog.**

Dog, as though responding to that comment, let out a howl himself. This set off a few laughs, effectively breaking the rather depressing mood that had fallen over the room.

**"Shhh!" hissed Professor McGonagall, "You'll wake the Muggles!"**

**"S-s-sorry," sobbed Hagrid, taking out a large, spotted handkerchief and burying his face in it. "But I c-c-can't stand it -- Lily an' James dead -- an' poor little Harry off ter live with Muggles--"**

“You know, I’m going to take offence at that because the worst of my foster parents was not a ‘muggle’.” Cassandra decided. “And my mum was mortal. She could see...I think. She used to sing The Beatles to me when I was little.”

“Better than my dad.” Alabaster decided. “Dunno what happened to him when I left home, and honestly? I don’t much care to find out.”

“My mum was awesome. Handmade hot chocolate on cold nights, fresh lemonade.” Topher sighed a little. “My uncle was alright - it’s his girlfriend who was the issue.”

“And my dad was diagnosed with cancer when I was eight, but he used to draw and paint and read me mythology books and Alice in Wonderland as bedtime stories.” Fahra shrugged. “Four for four.”

“Should...should we be concerned that you’re so...relaxed about this?” Lupin asked. Alabaster shrugged.

“It’s years ago. And, sadly, almost a staple element of halfblood life. Some have a mortal parent who lives, have relatively normal lives but some...not necessarily a mortal parent who is dead, but one who can’t accept the fact that their child is a godling...yeah. That’s...common.”

**"Yes, yes, it's all very sad, but get a grip on yourself, Hagrid, or we'll be found," Professor McGonagall whispered, patting Hagrid gingerly on the arm as Dumbledore stepped over the low garden wall and walked to the front door. He laid Harry gently on the doorstep, took a letter out of his cloak, tucked it inside Harry's blankets, and then came back to the other two.**

There was silence, before -

“Did that say ‘doorstep’?” Alicia sounded rather faint at that, and suddenly most of the hall was in uproar. Harry sighed heavily - if this was the reaction to him being left on a doorstep, what would the reaction be to the Dursleys? He wasn’t naive enough to believe that it would skip right to him leaving for Hogwarts. He wasn’t that lucky.

Most of the yelling was directed at Dumbledore, which Alabaster tried not to look too pleased about. But he’d left a baby on a doorstep, in November, in the aftermath of a decade long war. He’d survived on the streets in winter, but he had been ten, had met Fahra and Topher before the coldest snaps hit, and they weren’t the targets for people bent on revenge...unless you counted the few monsters they had encountered. If Alabaster hadn’t been keen on the headmaster before, what he’d just heard? Didn’t endear Albus to Alabaster at all. If anything, it made him dislike him more. And it wasn’t just his immediate distrust of any authority figures that made him suspicious - it was the way he’d definitely tried to pry into his and, if his suspicions were correct, Cassandra’s mind without their consent.

The last two times that had happened, both had been the cause of war and death and things Alabaster tried not to dwell on for too long.

**For a full minute the three of them stood and looked at the little bundle; Hagrid's shoulders shook, Professor McGonagall blinked furiously, and the twinkling light that usually shone from Dumbledore's eyes seemed to have gone out.**

**"Well," said Dumbledore finally, "that's that. We've no business staying here. We may as well go and join the celebrations."**

“Yes, sure, celebrate the fact that you’ve left an orphaned child on a doorstep.” Hermione muttered under her breath, looking rather murderous. Ron and Harry may have shifted away from her, much to the amusement of Bill. He felt rather murderous, too, but was much better at hiding it than the muggleborn who looked like she may set a certain wizard on fire if she heard one more thing that had affected one of her best friends in a negative way.

**"Yeah," said Hagrid in a very muffled voice, "I'll be takin' Sirius his bike back. G'night, Professor McGonagall -- Professor Dumbledore, sir."**

**...**

**"I shall see you soon, I expect, Professor McGonagall," said Dumbledore, nodding to her. Professor McGonagall blew her nose in reply.**

**...**

**"Good luck, Harry," he murmured.**

“I was going to need it.” Harry hummed. “Didn’t get it, but the sentiment is nice, I guess.”

“Is kidnapping illegal in the wizarding world?” Alabaster asked. Tonks raised an eyebrow.

“Kidnapping is illegal everywhere.” She pointed out.

“...Well, can I just adopt Harry instead?” Alabaster questioned. Harry raised an eyebrow.

“You do realise you’re only...six years older than me, right?”

“Bold of you to believe that’s going to stop me.”

**He turned on his heel and with a swish of his cloak, he was gone.**

**... One small hand closed on the letter beside him and he slept on, not knowing he was special, not knowing he was famous,**

“I’m just a baby...oh sweet ignorance, how I miss it.” Harry sighed heavily. “I don’t want to be famous or special for something that I can’t...couldn’t remember. It was my mum who saved me, my dad who gave her the opportunity. I...I don’t want to be famous for what they did.”

“But you defeated You-Know-Who.” An older Hufflepuff pointed out. “Of course that means you’re special!”

“But I didn’t. I was just the only one who got out alive.” Harry retorted. “Whatever took down Voldemort? Wasn’t me. I was a baby at the time. How could I have taken him down?”

**not knowing he would be woken in a few hours' time by Mrs. Dursley's scream as she opened the front door to put out the milk bottles, nor that he would spend the next few weeks being prodded and pinched by his cousin Dudley...**

Ginny’s nose wrinkled. “Your cousin doesn’t sound nice.”

“It gets worse. He’s only one at this point.” Harry reminded her.

“Not encouraging, mate.” Fred pointed out and Harry shrugged.

“I’m only telling the truth.” Harry said. “Not trying to soothe any fears.”

“I think we could do with a little soothing.” Katie asked, almost pleadingly. Harry shot her an apologetic look.

“Sorry.”

**He couldn't know that at this very moment, people meeting in secret all over the country were holding up their glasses and saying in hushed voices: "To Harry Potter -- the boy who lived!"**

“...And that’s the end of the chapter.” Amelia said after a few seconds of silence. “Rather...revealing.” She shot a look at Dumbledore, who was attempting to look serene but not doing a very good job of it. “Mr Black, when we take a break, may I...speak to you, regarding your time at You-Know-Who’s side? Not to arrest you.” She added at the nervous look on Regulus’ face. “If what you’ve said is true, I have no reason to deny that you would have died in fighting against him, and for that you are forgiven - we did the same for...others, who turned their backs. Mostly it will be in regards to other high ranking Death Eaters and, possibly, the theory surrounding your brother’s arrest.” Regulus tilted his head in contemplation, before nodding once sharply.

“Of course. I may not be able to provide much more information, though.” He said. “It is just a theory, and you may already have arrested Death Eaters that I know of.”

“It would still be valuable for you to speak about it.” Amelia said.

“Anyway,” Minerva said, cutting through the discussion that she would definitely request to hear. “Shall we continue?”

“Of course.” Once more, Dumbledore cast the charm, and the next chapter title was read out in the same narrator's voice. Harry felt a sudden sense of foreboding fill him - it seemed like the entire school would hear about his treatment at the Dursleys.

And they most certainly were not going to like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Chapter: 4583  
> Commentary: 10735  
> Chapter Length (Without Editing): 15336


	3. Fahra Wants to Blow Up a Building (The Vanishing Glass)

**The Vanishing Glass**

“Oh, we get to see accidental magic!” Hermione perked up. Alabaster, in contrast, looked confused.

“...Accidental?”

“Yeah. Like, we perform it without knowing we are.” Harry said. “You never slipped up?”

“Magic is all about intent. Sometimes you have ways to channel it - Fahra and I use runes mostly.” As though to clear up his point, Alabaster rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, showing off black bands of runes decorating his arms. Harry was sure he heard slightly dreamy sighs come from a few of the older girl students and decided to completely ignore that. “If I tap them and think about it, the spell comes. Or trace them in the air. You have your wands and words - sometimes I use words, but not constantly. You don’t necessarily need to channel it via that though - just need to concentrate very hard. It’s easier to channel it through some means, though. Your accidental magic isn’t, necessarily, accidental - it’s reacting to your needs.”

“What...what does it mean if it’s...late?” Neville asked, voice timid, remembering nearly drowning at Blackpool. Of Uncle Algie dropping him out of a window.

“It’s not late. Maybe you’re just having trouble accessing it, not focusing hard enough on bringing it out. I only ever channelled it without words or whatever twice - once I levitated a toy across the room, the other time I broke down a door. If you have magic, you have magic - what you do with it doesn’t determine power or whatever you believe here. It channels itself in different ways for everyone.”

“...I’m stumbling over the ‘broke down a door’ part.” Hermione admitted. Alabaster shrugged.

“I’m claustrophobic.” He said in a way of answer, and no one decided to press for more information.

**Nearly ten years had passed since the Dursleys had woken up to find their nephew on the front step, but Privet Drive had hardly changed at all.**

George’s nose wrinkled in distaste. “How boring, though. It had to have changed a ton - it has been, what, ten years? And hardly anything?”

“Ah, yes, my father’s people.” Alabaster sighed heavily. “Order and neatness and gods forbid anything changes, anything unexpected messes up the strict system they have.”

“Ok, you keep mentioning your father and you never mention him. Ever.” Fahra said, turning to look at Alabaster. "Not unless prompted - what's up with that?" He didn’t say anything, and the silence lasted long enough that the narrator continued, even as Fahra nearly bored holes into the side of her brother’s head. She knew that Alabaster's dad had been - to put it lightly - a dick, but a sneaking suspicion bore into her heart that maybe her brother hadn't told her everything, and she had to force the bile that welled up in her throat down as dark thoughts grew in her mind.

**The sun rose on the same tidy front gardens ...which was almost exactly the same as it had been on the night when Mr. Dursley had seen that fateful news report about the owls.**

“For someone who would definitely disapprove of anything theatrical, he is rather over dramatic, isn’t he?” Marietta Edgecombe raised an elegant eyebrow and Cho snorted.

“Of course you’re completely right.” Padma said. “It’s the whole ‘do as I say, not as I do’ thing with him, isn’t it?”

“Agreed.” Anthony muttered, complete with an eye roll directed towards the man they were discussing.

**Only the photographs on the mantelpiece ... large pink beach ball wearing different-colored bonnets -- but Dudley Dursley was no longer a baby,**

Poppy raised a single eyebrow. “That’s...concerning.” More than concerning, honestly. If the beach ball description was accurate, then that boy had been severely overweight as a baby. Poppy could only hope that as the years went on, he burned any excess fat. Nothing wrong with being overweight, but when it stretched into severely obese...that was when it became he’an issue.

**and now the photographs showed a large blond boy riding his first bicycle, ... held no sign at all that another boy lived in the house, too.**

That gained some confusion. No sign?

No shoes next to the front door? No coat hung up on a peg? Not even the stereotypical school bag slng next to the door, not even touched since summer started? That was...worrying. Maybe Harry was just neat, kept his stuff in his room? Regulus bit his lip, but nodded internally. That had to be it - he had kept all his things in his room when he was a child.

This was, obviously, a lot more concerning for Harry’s dorm mates. They knew first hand how disorganised Harry was - Dean had found Harry’s school jumper on his bed before, and Neville had tripped over the suitcase Harry would have lived out of if House Elves didn’t put things away for them multiple times. That there was no sign of this sort of mess? That did not bode well.

**Yet Harry Potter was still there, asleep at the moment, but not for long. ...**

**"Up!" she screeched.**

"Give him a minute." Hermione rolled her eyes. "Harry's terrible at mornings."

"...I'm not that bad, am I?" Harry asked, and feigned a wounded gasp when exactly no one leaped to his defence. "Betrayal."

"Harry, mate, you're shit at mornings." Seamus said, ignoring the reprimand from the head table. "We have literally rolled you out of bed and you just curled up on the floor, attempting to go back to sleep."

"Just like James." Remus muttered to himself, shaking his head fondly. Of course, most kids didn't like waking up, weren't morning people, and James wouldn't function properly until he had eaten breakfast. Whether that breakfast was at a normal time or doubled as lunch was not a concern to him.

**Harry heard her walking toward the kitchen and then the sound of the frying pan being put on the stove.**

Bill raised an eyebrow. Huh. Odd. "Downstairs bedroom?" He hazarded, and tried not to wince at Harry's almost hesitant nod.

"Yeah. There, uh, there's not a lot of room upstairs." Why Harry was still clinging to the hope that The Cupboard would not be brought up, the boy didn't know, but he hoped that it wouldn't. He didn't need the pity or the looks or any of it. He'd lived with it for a decade - he was over it.

Sort of.

**He rolled onto his back ... he'd had the same dream before.**

“Sorta like me, only backwards.” Cassandra was grinning as she said that. “Or you have a very, very good memory. I’m leaning towards the former, only so I’m not the only one who has weird dreams.”

“You know, dreaming of the past and dreaming of the future are completely different things, Cassie.” Topher pointed out.

“Let me dream that they’re similar enough, Toph. Let me dream.”

“You know, the irony of that is you are talking about dreams.” Ron stated, and both Cassandra and Harry rolled their eyes at that.

**His aunt was back outside the door.**

**"Are you up yet?" she demanded.**

“Gods, she doesn’t give you any time, does she?” Fahra said, blinking. “Even I gave Al more time than that, and this is before he and Toph decided to sleep together.”

“And not in the biblical sense.” Alabaster assured. “Don’t do so well on my own. Not since...well. Stuff happened. And I’m not that bad at mornings.”

“He has a point, Fahra.” Topher said, rushing to the defence of his boyfriend...well, Alabaster didn’t necessarily like that term, so partner. Maybe. “It takes a second for him to gather his wits, but we haven’t resorted to literally pushing him out of bed.”

“You know, I think you’re all out to get me.” Harry said, voice conversational and earning some snickers from those who heard him. “You’re all so mean to me.”

“It’s a sign of affection.” Alabaster assured, smiling in amusement as Dog licked a long stripe up Harry’s cheek just to make the boy squirm and pull a face in disgust.

**"Nearly," said Harry.**

**"Well, get a move on, I want you to look after the bacon. And don't you dare let it burn, I want everything perfect on Duddy's birthday."**

“They made you cook?” Molly’s voice sounded calm enough, but Harry caught the underlying fury in her eyes, and forced himself to not squirm.

“Just keep an eye on it.” He said, thinking fast. “I didn’t have to actually cook anything - it was just ‘cause it was Dudley’s birthday.”

“I used to do it when my mum was around.” Topher added, noting the way Harry spoke too quickly, the look of relief he shot him when Molly’s gaze turned to Topher. “Learn while an adult was there, you know? It’s how I learned to make hot chocolate without the powder, how to make pancakes and muffins.”

“You make the best pancakes.” Cassandra agreed. “Like. With blueberries. They’re really good.”

“Nice to know my cooking is appreciated.” Topher’s voice was tinged with amusement.

“It’s the main reason we keep you around.” Fahra agreed, grinning.

**Harry groaned.**

**"What did you say?" his aunt snapped through the door.**

“Nothing.” Hermione muttered, rolling her eyes so hard Ron feared for a second that they might remain stuck like that.

**"Nothing, nothing..."**

**Dudley's birthday -- how could he have forgotten?**

“Eh, I’d forget my own birthday if this lot didn’t remind me about it.” Alabaster admitted, shrugging a shoulder.

“...How do you forget your own birthday?” Fred asked, tilting his head slightly.

“You have like, a billion siblings to help remind you when it is.”

“Ok, a billion is an exaggeration. I have six siblings to help remind me and that still doesn’t answer my question.” Fred retorted. “I am the master at dodging questions. You can’t avoid mine.”

“I can by just not answering.” Alabaster pointed out. “But my birthday just...isn’t that important. I’d rather not remember it.” Topher sighed, pressing a kiss to Alabaster’s temple when his eyes got that far off look, like he was remembering something he’d rather forget. He hated that look, but had never seen it in relation to discussing his birthday before. It was...concerning.

**Harry got slowly out of bed and started looking for socks. He found a pair under his bed and, after pulling a spider off one of them, put them on.**

Ron shuddered a little. Spiders. Ew. Too many legs and too many eyes and the way they moved…

Nope. No. Even little spiders, he could not fucking stand.

**Harry was used to spiders, because the cupboard under the stairs was full of them, and that was where he slept.**

The silence that followed was deafening, before suddenly the hall seemed to explode into chaos, the starting point the sound of a glass shattering on the head table.

Huh, so accidental magic was a thing, as Alabaster had just realised. A cupboard. A fucking cupboard under the fucking stairs. Small and dark and alone, needing out, out, out...he took a deep breath, suddenly relieved he had his meds. Fuck, but cupboards...he could remember a linen closet, with no lights and banging on the door, begging to be let out. He had been five the first time.

Harry had been a  _ baby. _

Remus’ usually gentle amber eyes had turned a startling gold as he, along with most of the head table, were yelling at Dumbledore. He had promised him, promised that Harry was safe and cared for and loved. But a cupboard under the stairs...a fucking cupboard. A cupboard usually used to store shoes and coats and umbrellas was used to store - to  _ hide away  _ \- a child. Remus would be just as enraged if it hadn’t been Harry, but the fact it was Harry, that he had been lied to by a man he had called mentor, called friend, he had trusted...that was what stung, that enraged him the most, had the wolf clawing at him, howling in pain and rage, and it took all of Remus to squash it down, to shut it up.

Molly looked absolutely devastated, the look on her face was that of someone who had just been told horrible news and they had finally believed it. Dog was whining constantly, nuzzling desperately against Harry as though begging to be hugged, to be told it wasn’t true. Regulus had the same faraway look in his eyes Alabaster had, like he was remembering something unpleasant that he’d rather not. Fahra was muttering under her breath, something like curses in a language Harry couldn’t understand. Everything was loud, much too loud, and he tried to cover his ears, to close his eyes and shut everything out, make it stop -

A loud, obnoxious, frankly terrifying whistle cut through the noise, and everyone grew silent. Cassandra had two fingers to her lips, and she lowered them when eyes turned to her.

“We can’t change it now.” Her voice was surprisingly steady, even with the way her eyes shone with unshed tears. “It’s awful, but we can’t change it. There’s no point yelling and screaming when all you’re doing is making Harry more uncomfortable than he already is. Calm down. We can’t change the past - trust me, I wish we could - but right now? We can fix this if it continues. But please...it’s too much fuss, too much noise. It isn’t helping.” There were some grumbles of complaints, but Cassandra’s eyes were on Harry, who wiped his eyes free of tears and managed a tiny nod. He was granted a small smile in return. He watched as Topher squeezed Alabaster’s shoulder, and the man seemed to shake himself out of a trance. He watched as Regulus hid his head in shaking hands, took a deep breath, before sitting up straight, looking noble and as though he hadn’t had a flashback.

**When he was dressed he went down the hall into the kitchen. ... the second television and the racing bike.**

Arthur looked dearly like he wanted to ask what those were. He restrained himself, though, the mood in the room not, exactly, one to be broken by the questions of a curious man.

“You know, I never understood why he needed the second one.” Harry took it upon himself to break the awkward, even if it turned eyes back on him.

“Because he’s a spoiled little shit?” Fahra said, voice slightly too harsh, before she winced. “Sorry.”

“No, no, you’re right.” Harry decided. “He was - no, is - a spoiled little shit.” The ‘Harry!’ that Molly let out almost instinctively efficiently broke the tension, and Harry gave himself a mental pat on the back.

**Exactly why Dudley wanted a racing bike was a mystery to Harry, as Dudley was very fat and hated exercise**

“You don’t need to be fat to hate exercise though.” Topher stated. “Or hate exercise to be fat. Riri was the one who runs laps and Fahra wouldn’t jog if you paid her.”

“Actually I fucking would.” Fahra retorted. “And I’m the one who can do a fucking backflip, Topher.”

“You literally learned how to do that out of spite because I said you couldn’t.” Alabaster deadpanned.

“Yep, and I got paid for it.” Fahra said. “Besides, sword fighting counts as exercise, so I do exercise and I enjoy that.”

“You enjoy losing, huh?”

“Um, we still have books to read?” Regulus broke up the impending squabble, and Fahra and Alabaster huffed but stopped arguing. "And sword fighting?"

"Yeah. With like. Swords." Fahra said in a tone that suggested she thought Regulus was being obtuse on purpose. He decided to not pursue that route of questioning. 

**\-- unless of course it involved punching somebody... he was very fast.**

"Fastest flyer at Hogwarts!" Oliver said with pride, trying to ignore the punching bag comment desperately. He didn't want to think about his Seeker - heck, his friend - being punched by his cousin. He went through enough as it was already.

"The only reason we haven't gotten the cup yet is because every single year something bad happens." Angelina agreed with a sigh. Harry smiled a little sheepish.

"Sorry."

"...What do you mean 'something bad'?" Alabaster asked and got no reply.

**Perhaps it had something to do with living in a dark cupboard, but Harry had always been small and skinny for his age.**

Molly's eye twitched at the mention of the cupboard again. So did Remus'.

**He looked even smaller and skinnier ...Harry had a thin face, knobbly knees, black hair, and bright green eyes.**

“Huh.” Fahra blinked. “So, basically, a mix of me and Al - the black hair and the green eyes, I mean.”

“Technically, he’s our younger brother.” Alabaster said. Despite himself, Remus felt his lips twitch.

“I don’t think that’s how it works, but good try.”

“Look, I’m going to ste - er, I mean, save Harry from his dickish guardians. I am working this to my advantage.” Alabaster turned to Harry, who was looking amused. “Do you prefer Swift or Torrington?”

“I like my last name as it is.” Harry stated and Alabaster frowned at him playfully.

“You’re not helping.”

**He wore round glasses held together with a lot of Scotch tape because of all the times Dudley had punched him on the nose.**

"Speaking of glasses, are yours the right prescription?" Percy asked, not joining in with the angry mutters even if he really, really wanted to. Harry tilted his head slightly.

"I'm not sure." He said finally. "I mean, I can see things but things far away are a bit blurry. Like chalkboards and stuff." Madam Pomphrey added 'sight test' to the list she had started regarding Harry's healthcare. She was hopeful that most of it wouldn't be needed, but it was worth double checking nonetheless. For Harry's teachers, suddenly a lot of his squinting made shocking sense - how had they not noticed?

Probably because his work was passable, because there was a likelihood that he borrowed Hermione's notes, and did the reading required outside of class.

**The only thing Harry liked about his own appearance was a very thin scar on his forehead that was shaped like a bolt of lightning.**

"You liked it?" Ron asked, confused. "But you hate that thing."

"Now I know what it means. The fact that Regulus said it's the wand movement of the curse that killed my parents, I hate it even more." Harry stated, running a hand through his hair. “It’s a reminder of when everything went wrong. Back then, though, it made me...different. Almost special.”

**He had had it as long as he could remember, and the first question he could ever remember asking his Aunt Petunia was how he had gotten it.**

“Bet that went over well.” Dean’s voice was heavy with sarcasm. “I can just tell that she was eager to answer that question.” Harry snorted despite himself - he was glad that the words were sarcastic, because he knew very well his relatives' opinions regarding questions.

**"In the car crash when your parents died," she had said. "And don't ask questions."**

“Car crash?!” Remus felt livid, rage rising up in him and he had to forcefully push it down so he didn’t start actually growling.

“Don’t ask questions, what rubbish!” Hermione sniffed. “How are you going to find out anything if you don’t ask questions?”

“Find them out yourself.” Harry answered immediately. “I think I did alright without asking questions.”

**Don't ask questions -- that was the first rule for a quiet life with the Dursleys.**

**...**

**"Comb your hair!" he barked, by way of a morning greeting.**

The entirety of Gryffindor snorted at that. They had seen Harry’s hair day in and day out, and every attempt to tame his hair somewhat failed miserably.

“That’s not going to work.” Said Lavender, giggling at Harry’s indignant comment. “His hair is hopeless.”

“You mean he doesn’t make his hair messy on purpose?” This comment came, surprisingly, from the Slytherin table from Cassius Warrington.

“It’s a curse.” Harry decided to answer with. “Do you think I want it to look like this?”

“Grow it out and tie it back.” Topher suggested, his hair usually a mass of kinky curls. “It gives it the illusion of being neat, at least. Or keep it very short.”

“Go for long.” Alabaster said, remembering when Topher cut his hair short. It looked good, and had helped Topher feel more like himself when he wasn’t on HT, but Alabaster had less hair to hide his face in on a night, or to tangle his fingers in when...interesting things happened when it remained as Topher got older. Fortunately, Topher had decided to grow his hair out long enough to tie back in a bun, and it had the bonus of making him look really, really attractive. “Works better, and then if you hate it at least then you can cut it off.”

**About once a week, Uncle Vernon looked over the top of his newspaper... his hair simply grew that way -- all over the place.**

“I would say that’s a metamorphmagus ability.” Tonks said and, once again, Alabaster felt his heart fill with dread.

“...What’s a metamorphmagus?” He asked despite his worry, and managed to only let out a heavy, very tired sigh when Tonks demonstrated the ability by changing her hair from bubblegum pink to electric blue. “I fucking hate this.”

“That is so cool!” Was Cassandra’s completely opposite reaction, eyes wide and bright. “Is it a special gift or can anyone do it?”

“It’s rare. A genetic thing.” Tonks said, allowing her hair to change back to pink. “Great for when you need to pass disguise in the auror exam - my stealth was rubbish. I’m a massive clutz.”

**Harry was frying eggs by the time Dudley... thick blond hair that lay smoothly on his thick, fat head.**

“Attractive.” Ginny’s nose wrinkled in distaste. “The blue eyes and blonde hair is usually a good combination but...ew.”

“Aw, thank you.” Cassandra fluttered her lashes at Ginny, who snorted and elbowed her playfully.

“Buzz off.”

**Aunt Petunia often said that Dudley looked like a baby angel -- Harry often said that Dudley looked like a pig in a wig.**

There was a lot of laughter at that, and Harry was grinning a little to himself. What could he say other than he was definitely right? If he also thought Dudley ate a bit like a pig too, well...he wasn’t necessarily going to say it out loud, but that was also true. He couldn’t wait until Hagrid showed up - he was certain that the pig tail would get some laughs, too.

**Harry put the plates of egg and bacon on the table, ... "That's two less than last year."**

Draco, along with the rest of the hall, was absolutely stunned. He knew very well that he was spoiled rotten by his parents (especially his mother), but even he didn’t get that many presents.

“I’m hating this lot more and more.” Fahra was scowling heavily. “You can’t buy love with presents - this is definitely what his parents are doing. Especially if he’s counting how many presents he has and remembers how many he got the year before. Honestly, it’s disgusting. I know he’s eleven, but come  _ on _ …”

**"Darling, you haven't counted Auntie Marge's present...began wolfing down his bacon as fast as possible in case Dudley turned the table over.**

“If any of my children showed such behaviour…” Molly’s eyes flickered around her children, who all avoided her eyes. Not that they would even think of flipping a table over if they didn’t get their way.

Harry was just surprised to remember that he actually had breakfast that morning - the Dursley’s must have been distracted if they let him eat their bacon at the table. Probably because of the impending Dudley tantrum. Oh, how he missed those days.

**Aunt Petunia obviously scented danger, too, because she said quickly, "And we'll buy you another two presents while we're out today. How's that, popkin? Two more presents. Is that all right"**

“And they just encourage it!” Molly looked liable to explode. To be honest, Fahra also looked ready to explode, though that may be because she had an inkling that Harry probably never got so much as a ‘happy birthday’ on his birthday. She had ultimately decided to help Alabaster steal Harry if nothing was done about his living situation after or during the readings.

**Dudley thought for a moment. It looked like hard work. Finally he said slowly, "So I'll have thirty... thirty..."**

**"Thirty-nine, sweetums," said Aunt Petunia.**

Theodore was seriously considering the pros and cons of just ramming his head against the table and knocking himself out until this family was out of the way. Sure he wasn't Potter's biggest fan, but he felt sympathy due to the fact that he had put up with these idiots for, what, twelve years?

"Don't hit your head against the table." Adrian muttered to him. "They're not worth the lump you'll get."

"Better than having to endure the idiocy." Theodore retorted, earning snorts from a few Slytherins, and considering looks from the others.

What could they say other than that the idea had merit.

**"Oh." Dudley sat down heavily ... 'Atta boy, Dudley!" He ruffled Dudley's hair.**

“I want to strangle him.” Charlie muttered to Bill, who let out an amused snort. “Please, Bill, tell me I’m not the only one.”

“Look at the head table.” Bill said in reply. “Lupin looks like he might actually achieve apparation inside of Hogwarts purely to throttle Mr Dursley.”

**At that moment the telephone rang a... sixteen new computer games, and a VCR.**

Many purebloods didn’t know what that stuff was, and many were advised to make a note of it so someone could explain them to it during a break in the reading. Harry was watching, fascinated, as Hermione’s eye twitched. Her hands were also curled into fists on top of the table, obviously very, very angry with the presents Dudley got and the lack of care Harry was given. He was expecting an explosion at some point, and wasn’t sure whether he was looking forward to it or not.

**He was ripping the paper off a gold wristwatch when .... "Mrs. Figg's broken her leg. She can't take him." She jerked her head in Harry's direction.**

“He has a name.” Ernie’s nose had wrinkled in distaste. “It’s Harry. Try using it, considering the fact he’s your nephew.” Harry was about to mention the fact that they hardly ever used his name if it could be avoided, but decided against it.

**Dudley's mouth fell open in horror... to adventure parks, hamburger restaurants, or the movies.**

“What did we do for your last birthday, Toph?” Alabaster asked almost out of the blue. “Because next time I’m definitely dragging you to the movies.”

“Back row seats, I bet.” Topher said, waggling his eyebrows and snorting when Regulus nearly choked on his laughter at how red Alabaster had gotten. “Nah, carino, I get your meaning. I think we just...I dunno, spent most of the day in bed.”

“I did not need to know that.” Fahra’s nose wrinkled, and Molly looked stunned. It took Topher a couple of seconds to register how what he said could have been taken, and shook his head furiously.

“No, no! Like...cuddling and being lazy. Didn’t have to do my shift.”

“What else would it mean?” A first year asked innocently, and a lot of the older students who got it began snickering. No one answered the first year’s question and Topher decided to hide his face in Alabaster’s hair until the blushing went away.

**Every year, Harry was left behind with Mrs. Figg... Mrs. Figg made him look at photographs of all the cats she'd ever owned.**

“I like cats, just...not the same ones every. Single. Time.” Harry said with a heavy sigh. “And I  _ hate _ cabbage.”

“Cabbage is only good if you smother it in gravy.” Cassandra agreed, nodding her head solemnly. “Topher’s gravy. It’s so good.”

“I’m only kept around for my cooking skills, it seems.” Topher mumbled against Alabster’s hair, and he smiled when he heard the child of Hecate snort.

“And your hugs.” Alabaster murmured, snuggling just a little bit closer. “And your everything else.” Topher pressed a kiss against Alabaster’s hair, fond and affectionate, before moving to sit so he could see the rest of the hall, but also keep hold of Alabaster.

**"Now what?" said Aunt Petunia, looking furiously at Harry as though he'd planned this.**

“Yes, because Harry is secretly an evil mastermind.” Alicia rolled her eyes. “Puh-lease. He couldn’t hurt a fly.”

“Rude.” Harry pouted, eyes narrowing slightly. It didn’t work at all to make him look intimidating. In fact, Alicia only smiled at that.

“Adorable.” She insisted, and Harry’s pout grew more pronounced as he sunk lower in his seat. He swore even Dog was laughing at him, the traitor.

**Harry knew he ought to feel sorry ... a whole year before he had to look at Tibbles, Snowy, Mr. Paws, and Tufty again.**

“Look, Al, an old woman is better at naming things than you!”

“Shut up, I’m not that bad at na -”

“You called your dog ‘Dog’.”

“Betrayed by my own flesh and blood. The audacity.”

**"We could phone Marge," Uncle Vernon suggested.**

**"Don't be silly, Vernon, she hates the boy."**

“The feeling’s mutual.” Harry stated, before letting out a grin that spelled trouble. “But I got her back.”

“Wait.” Ron’s grin was just as troubling to watch. “Is she...the aunt you blew up?”

“You blew up your aunt?” Topher’s voice sounded slightly faint.

“Oh, not like the boom blowing up. More like a balloon.” Harry explained. “I didn’t mean to, but she called my mum a bitch.”

“...Ok that’s fair.” Topher nodded once as a few growls came out at that comment. “I mean, I guess it’s a step up from when Al suggested setting fire to the house where we picked up Cassie from.”

“I am suddenly very interested.” Ron leaned forward slightly. “Did you set fire to the house?”

“Unfortunately, no. Topher said that would ‘attract too much attention’.” Alabaster was clearly still a little bitter about that. “To be honest, it would have attracted less - we had police, um, like your Aurors, trying to track down a missing foster kid. If we’d burnt down the house, they would have most likely assumed she’d died in it.”

“To be honest, I would have preferred to be considered dead.” Cassandra said, humming a little. “Because then I’d get to say ‘the reports of my death are greatly exaggerated’ and then dab.”

“I regret introducing you to the internet.” Topher decided, trying not to watch as Cassandra demonstrated a dab to the Weasley twins, who immediately imitated her.

**The Dursleys often spoke about Harry like this, as though he wasn't there -- or rather, as though he was something very nasty that couldn't understand them, like a slug.**

“Less than a slug.” Harry decided. “What’s worse than a slug?”

“Lots of things.” Fahra said. “But most of them are terrifying, so they wouldn’t talk to them like they were a slug. They’d probably run away.”

“Oh, if only.”

**"What about what's-her-name, your friend -- Yvonne?"**

**"On vacation in Majorca," snapped Aunt Petunia.**

“I didn’t mind Yvonne.” Harry admitted. “I mean, she was iffy about me because Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon love telling the entire neighbourhood I’m a delinquent but. You know. Her house didn’t smell like cabbage.”

“I’m still stumbling over ‘delinquent’.” Katie paused briefly, remembering the past two years, then sighed. “Actually, never mind. You’re a walking disaster.”

“Thank you.”

“It wasn’t a compliment, Harry.”

“I’m taking it as one.”

**"You could just leave me here," Harry put in hopefully (he'd be able to watch what he wanted on television for a change and maybe even have a go on Dudley's computer).**

"But then you'd have fun." Neville pointed out, before pausing. "What's a computer?"

"Why do wizards not know what things are?" Topher asked the air as Hermione gave a quick rundown of what a computer was. "You keep talking about keeping this whole thing secret, but you don't even know what a computer is honestly…"

**Aunt Petunia looked as though she'd just swallowed a lemon.**

**"And come back and find the house in ruins?" she snarled.**

**"I won't blow up the house,"**

Topher sighed heavily as Fahra and Alabaster exchanged looks. “No.”

“We didn’t say anything.” Fahra said.

“You were thinking it.” Topher argued. “No.”

“But, babe, it’d only be one, tiny, little -”

“No, Al. I’ll help you kidnap the kid, but you are not blowing up the house.”

“Do I get a say in the kidnapping bit?” Harry asked, genuinely curious. Cassandra snorted loudly.

“I tried to kill them via Windex and they still stole me. Trust me - you don’t get a say.”

**said Harry, but they weren't listening.**

**"I suppose we could take him to the zoo," said Aunt Petunia slowly, "... and leave him in the car..."**

“He’s not a dog!” Angelina snarled, and Dog let out an affronted bark. “No offence to the dog currently present.”

“You can’t leave dogs or kids in cars, anyway.” Hermione pointed out, relieved that cars she wouldn’t have to explain, at least. “There’s a chance they can overheat and die.”

“...Can I join you three when you kidnap Harry?” Regulus asked, and Harry threw up his hands in exasperation.

“Sure. We could always use a getaway driver.” Fahra shrugged.

“I can’t drive.”

“...Only if you help us blow up the house.”

“No one’s blowing up the house!”

“You are actually no fun, Toph.”

**"That car's new, he's not sitting in it alone..."**

**….but he knew that if he screwed up his face and wailed, his mother would give him anything he wanted.**

**"Dinky Duddydums,**

There was laughter at the ridiculous nickname and Hannah snorted, leaning over to whisper to her friends.

“He isn’t dinky in any sense of the word.” She muttered, and Justin and Susan snorted at that in amusement.

**don't cry, Mummy won't let him spoil your special day!" she cried, flinging her arms around him.**

**... He shot Harry a nasty grin through the gap in his mother's arms.**

“Kids.” Regulus rolled his eyes. Topher raised an eyebrow.

“You’re eighteen. You’re barely an adult, you know.”

“As far as I know, I never faked tears to get what I wanted.” Regulus paused. “I think my mother and father might have hexed me if I tried, but I never did.”

“Your parents sound shit.” Alabaster stated and Regulus may have snorted a little.

“They weren’t the best, nowhere near, but still...they were my family.”

**Just then, the doorbell rang -- "Oh, good Lord, they're here!" ...Piers was a scrawny boy with a face like a rat.**

The suddenness in which Dog got to his feet, growling intensely, was one which had many of the students near the black animal startle and shift away. Harry made a quiet, shushing noise and eventually Dog’s hackles lowered. Remus felt his eyes narrow in spite of himself.

If Dog was truly Not A Dog, then why, exactly, would the word rat set Sirius off? He’d killed Peter himself, blew him up and the street he was on and had laughed about it after, his friend gone, nothing left.

_ A finger _ , he thought to himself.  _ Nothing left but a finger _ .

Odd, wasn’t it, that other than a finger, nothing of Peter remained?

**He was usually the one who held people's arms behind their backs while Dudley hit them. Dudley stopped pretending to cry at once.**

Parvati’s nose wrinkled in distaste. What kind of ‘friend’ did Dudley have, if he couldn’t cry in front of him? A bully, just as he was, she decided, remembering the fact that this...Piers apparently held kids still while Dudley hit them. She wondered how many times this had happened to Harry, and immediately decided against it. Sure, she wasn’t close to Harry, but he was a Gryffindor - part of her family away from family - and he was sweet if you were nice to him.

**Half an hour later, Harry, who couldn't believe his luck, was sitting in the back of the Dursleys' car with Piers and Dudley, on the way to the zoo for the first time in his life.**

“Ok. Zoo trip after this.” Fahra decided. Cassandra let out a whoop, fist pumping the air.

“Field trip!” She cheered, causing fond eyerolls from the demigods.

“You know, I have a feeling your field trips don’t end very well.” Charlie raised an eyebrow. Topher shrugged.

“Depends on the field trip, to be honest.” He admitted. “We haven’t tried a zoo field trip before. It’ll be...an experience.”

**His aunt and uncle hadn't been able to think of anything else to do with him, but before they'd left, Uncle Vernon had taken Harry aside.**

Molly's jaw clenched, looking ready to hit Vernon Dursley if he so much as lay a hand on Harry.

**"I'm warning you," ...and you'll be in that cupboard from now until Christmas."**

"Fortunately, that did not happen." Harry chirped before any questions regarding that statement came forth. "I was here, after all."

"Thank the gods this is a boarding school." Fahra sighed. "Otherwise you'd be stuck with them year round."

"Yeah, now I only have to put up with them a couple of weeks tops before leaving. Once by flying car. The other magic bus." Harry said almost conversationally.

"Flying car." Alabaster sounded faint. "Yeah. Yeah that makes sense."

**"I'm not going to do anything," said Harry, "honestly..."**

**But Uncle Vernon didn't believe him. No one ever did.**

Harry winced internally. Honestly, not much had changed on that front. This time, though, people would have to believe him. A goddess had sent these books, for Merlin's sake! They had to be right.

"Not believing can lead to terrible things." Cassandra said. "Like my namesake was never believed when she prophecised things, and people died because of it."

"Some things you do need to be skeptical of, but it's always best to be cautious." Topher agreed.

**The problem was, strange things often happened around Harry and it was just no good telling the Dursleys he didn't make them happen.**

"But you do make them happen." Seamus pointed out. Harry rolled his eyes.

"Well, I know that now." He said. "Back then if I turned my teachers wig blue, I didn't know why that happened or how." Ron blinked.

"I...haven't heard that story." He admitted and Harry shrugged. He didn't have to tell his friends everything, after all.

**Once, Aunt Petunia, tired of Harry coming back from the barbers ... almost bald except for his bangs, which she left "to hide that horrible scar."**

Lavender looked horrified. "That's...I can't think of words to describe how bad that is."

"Worse than a bowl cut." Parvati said with a shudder.

"Once again - close crop or keep it long." Topher stated. "And your scar isn't that horrible. Concealer and boom you're sorted."

"Oh, yes!" Lavender clapped her hands together, a slightly manic look in her eyes. "Got to get some in your shade. Also eyeliner would really make your eyes pop."

"Replace your glasses with contacts and you'd be a knockout." Parvati added. Harry maybe shied away slightly.

"I am suddenly very apprehensive." He said. "If I say you can sort out my wardro -" Harry didn't get to say anymore as Hermione's dorm mates immediately said 'yes' in unison. Hermione rolled her eyes, exasperated but also impossibly fond. Maybe they didn't always get along, but they were still dorm mates. Still friends.

**Dudley had laughed himself silly at Harry, ... he had gotten up to find his hair exactly as it had been before Aunt Petunia had sheared it off.**

“That definitely sounds like a metamorphmagus ability, but I think it would be more obvious if you were one.” Tonks said consideringly. “Usually it’s harder to control, especially when you’re young.”

“Just accidental, then.” Harry decided. “Damn it. If I were a metamorphmagus I’d use it to look attractive.”

“Yeah, good luck with that.” Dean said, laughing at Harry’s offended gasp at his comment.

**He had been given a week in his cupboard for this, even though he had tried to explain that he couldn't explain how it had grown back so quickly.**

“I...really want to kill them.” Alabaster blinked. “I thought I was over the phase of wanting to kill people but apparently not.”

“At least you’re not calling Zeus a pussy anymore.” Fahra hummed.

“Oh, I’m still gonna call him that.” Alabaster said over Molly’s offended gasp. “Or maybe something else. Less gendered. Because I feel like comparing Zeus to anyone with a vagina is offensive to people with them.”

“Call him a goatfucker. I wouldn’t be surprised.” Topher deadpanned and Alabaster snorted, amused.

“Yeah. That works.”

**Another time, Aunt Petunia had been trying to force him into a revolting old sweater of Dudley's (brown with orange puff balls).**

Those who had a special interest in fashion shuddered in complete unison. Harry’s nose wrinkled in remembrance. “It was the most horrible thing I’ve ever seen.”

“And you live with Mr Dursley.” Ginny said, stunned, and that earned laughs.

**The harder she tried to pull it over his head, the smaller it seemed to become, ...to his great relief, Harry wasn't punished.**

“You shouldn’t have been punished anyway.” Molly was scowling. What sort of guardian was this woman, who would punish her nephew for something as simple as that? For doing something he couldn’t control? It hurt her immensely, looking at some of those near her - Alabaster and Regulus and the others who she could guess hadn’t had an easy childhood - to know that others didn’t have decent parents, decent guardians. She knew that Cassandra had practically been raised by the older demigods with her, but they had been children too. It shouldn’t have been put upon them to make sure she was alright, when they were only five years older.

**On the other hand, he'd gotten into terrible trouble for being found on the roof of the school kitchens.**

Fahra blinked. “Mad parkour skills.”

“Oh, I think I flew.” Harry said, partially because it was true, and partially to watch Alabaster’s face take on a look of infinite distress. “I mean. I’m a bit skinny.”

“You’re practically a twig.” Fred agreed, and got Harry sticking his tongue out at him in retaliation.

All Snape could think about was how Lily could fly, or more so hover, when she managed some minor control of her accidental magic. Maybe the intent Alabaster spoke of at the start held some merit...not that he was ever going to say it aloud.

**Dudley's gang had been chasing him as usual when, ...But all he'd tried to do (as he shouted at Uncle Vernon through the locked door of his cupboard)**

Alabaster twitched again, and Topher took one of his hands and squeezed it. Alabaster squeezed back, trying not to look too affected by the mention of locked cupboard doors and yelling at their guardian...though Alabaster had been more sobbing than being defiant.

**was jump behind the big trash cans outside the kitchen doors. Harry supposed that the wind must have caught him in mid-jump.**

This earned Harry multiple dry looks. He grinned sheepishly and held up his hands as a sign of surrender. "I was nine at the time?"

"That would be fine if you improved." Hermione said. "You didn't."

"That hurts, Hermione. That really hurts." Harry held a hand to his heart, feigning offence. Most of the Weasleys and Harry's year mates snorted at the display, Hermione rolling her eyes.

**But today, nothing was going to go wrong.**

"Jinxed it!" Chorused everyone raised in a muggle household, while the concept of jinxing it was explained to those who only knew it in terms of spellwork.

**It was even worth being with Dudley and Piers to be spending the day somewhere that wasn't school, his cupboard, or Mrs. Figg's cabbage-smelling living room.**

"My heart hurts." Cassandra managed, clutching her chest as though to emphasise her point. "That's just so sad."

"What did we do for your last birthday?" Fahra asked, brows furrowing.

"The amusement park. Alabaster ate too much cotton candy and was complaining about it all day and Topher rode that one rollercoaster ten times." Cassandra said, ignoring Alabaster's offended noise. "I was too small. And you got into a verbal fight with that guy who insulted Al and Toph for being cute and nearly got us kicked out."

"If all your outings end like this, I'm concerned." Remus managed. "At least you didn't punch him?"

"It was a close thing." Fahra said. "Al punched him instead."

"Look, people can insult me all they want. But go for Topher and I will retaliate with violence."

"You are a hazard to society." Topher sighed, but there was a definite fondness to his voice.

**While he drove, Uncle Vernon complained to Aunt Petunia. He liked to complain about things: people at work, Harry, the council, Harry, the bank, and Harry were just a few of his favorite subjects.**

"I think he likes complaining about you, Harry." George said, mocking the considering tone in his voice so he didn't sound too pissed off. Harry laughed.

"Yeah, just a bit." He agreed. "What can I say? I live to annoy." Snape managed to resist the sudden urge to nod in agreement. Minerva pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing heavily, but there was definitely a spark of fondness there. Just like his father, Merlin damn it.

**This morning, it was motorcycles.**

**...**

**"I had a dream about a motorcycle," said Harry, remembering suddenly. "It was flying."**

A chorus of groans echoed around the hall and Harry smiled a little sheepishly at the incredulous looks shot his way. "Sorry?"

"What on earth possessed you to say that?" Hermione asked, sounding both exasperated and impossibly fond. "The Gryffindor recklessness coming through?"

"...I was sorted into Gryffindor for a reason?" Harry said weakly and Ron rolled his eyes.

"There's a difference between bravery and having a death wish, mate."

"It wasn't that bad."

**Uncle Vernon nearly crashed into the car in front.**

Ron shot Harry a look. "Care to repeat that?"

"Nearly is the key word there." Harry reminded him, though his ears had turned red in embarrassment.

**He turned right around in his seat and yelled at Harry, his face like a gigantic beet with a mustache: "MOTORCYCLES DON'T FLY!"**

"I'm going to ignore how much I hate this man to say that is an amazing description." Alabaster said. "A giant beet with a mustache."

"I'm never eating beetroot again." Cassandra said, looking vaguely disturbed. "I'll think of this description, remember Vernon exists and my appetite will vanish."

**Dudley and Piers sniggered.**

"What's laughter worthy about that?" Colin frowned a little.

"Me getting yelled at?" Harry shrugged. "The Dursleys and friends don't have a good sense of humour but Dudley loves when I get in trouble."

"Your cousin is a terrible person." Fahra managed. "I'm trying to be less biased because he's like...11...13 right now, but it's really difficult to be less judgemental."

"Maybe he'll actually grow up?" Bill offered. "Then it'll be easier to be less judgemental."

"One can only hope."

**"I know they don't," said Harry. "It was only a dream."**

"You know, it's weird to think it was actually a memory." Harry said, absently running a hand through Dog's fur. "Wonder if any other dreams have some basis on fact."

"I mean, I have dreams that make no sense until I figure out the prophetic parts." Cassandra began counting them off on her fingers. "Gigantic evil pit with ghosts, nearly drowning because of a giant whirlpool, holding up a giant cave ceiling…"

"Oh. So the usual fare." Ron tried to sound flippant, and missed the mark. Cassandra kindly ignored the missed mark.

"Yeah, pretty much."

**But he wished he hadn't said anything. ...no matter if it was in a dream or even a cartoon -- they seemed to think he might get dangerous ideas.**

"Like blowing up the house."

"I have a feeling this is going to be a running thing." Topher said in response to Fahra's comment. "Please can we not blow stuff up?"

"Unless absolutely necessary." Regulus added, lips quirking up slightly."I'm sure at some point mass destruction will be the way to go. Not in a civilian space, but still."

"Not helping." Topher muttered, and Regulus managed a surprisingly dignified snort in response.

**It was a very sunny Saturday and the zoo was crowded with families…. they bought him a cheap lemon ice pop.**

Seamus' eyes narrowed. "Harry. I don't like your relatives."

"Now you see why I hate leaving here." Harry said. "It's not that they're strict, it's that there is a huge difference between how they treat me and Dudley."

"Including you not actually having a bedroom." Cedric stated from the Hufflepuff table. "I'm hoping it's just because they don't have enough space, but like...buy a sofa bed it isn't that hard." Harry decided against mentioning the guest room and Dudley's second room. It would be brought up anyway, and he'd deal with it when it was mentioned.

**It wasn't bad, either, Harry thought, licking it as they watched a gorilla scratching its head who looked remarkably like Dudley, except that it wasn't blond.**

"That's just insulting to the gorilla." Draco muttered under his breath, earning a few snorts from his friend group. Sure, he didn't like Potter, but this muggle was much, much worse. The gorilla was probably much more intelligent than him, anyway.

**Harry had the best morning he'd had in a long time….They ate in the zoo restaurant, and when Dudley had a tantrum because his knickerbocker glory ... Harry was allowed to finish the first.**

“That’s depressing, mate.” Ron shook his head. “That is the best morning you’ve had? You’re being silent and walking away from the group so they don’t beat you up, and had left over ice cream. That’s…”

“Better than being with Mrs Figg.” Harry finished. “I’m used to it. It’s better than how they usually treat me.”

“...So. You’re planning on kidnapping him?” Ron turned to Alabaster, who nodded as Harry groaned.

“Yep. Want to add your name to the list?”

“I have one up on Regulus because I can drive.” Ron said, and Hermione leaned over to poke Alabaster’s arm and demand her name be added to the list of people planning to steal Harry from the Dursleys if the situation wasn’t sorted out after the books were read.

**Harry felt, afterward, that he should have known it was all too good to last.**

“Told you.” Colin said, grinning. “Jinxed. It.”

**After lunch they went to the reptile house.**

Cassandra went tense. “Nope.” She stated. “Nope nope nope.” The three demigods exchanged eyerolls as Cassandra repeated the word ‘nope’ until shushed by Colin who wanted to know what went so horribly wrong.

**It was cool and dark in there, with lit windows all along the walls. ... huge, poisonous cobras and thick, man-crushing pythons. Dudley quickly found the largest snake ...wrapped its body twice around Uncle Vernon's car and crushed it into a trash can**

Cassandra looked very, very faint. “Nope.”

“Not a fan of snakes?” Neville asked, sympathetic, and Cassandra shook her head violently.

“Python myth. My dad killed a big ass snake. Don’t like snakes. They hate me.” She shuddered. “Don’t like any Apollo kids.”

“Ophidiophobia.” Topher agreed. Cassandra scowled.

“Thanks. Knowing what it’s called totally doesn’t make me want to throw up.”

“I have arachnophobia. I get it.” Ron stated. “At least it’s just in a book.”

“Yeah, just a book.” Cassandra murmured. “It’s just a few words and it’s only...like...zoo snakes. In glass. Fucking safe behind exhibits.” She didn’t notice Harry wince.

**\-- but at the moment it didn't look in the mood. In fact, it was fast asleep.**

**Dudley stood with his nose pressed against the glass, staring at the glistening brown coils.**

“I’m just gonna...not.” Cassandra said. “This is horrible.”

“It’s a description of a snake.” Percy said, raising an eyebrow. “It can’t get to you. It isn’t here.”

“It’s still horrible.”

**"Make it move," he whined at his father. Uncle Vernon tapped on the glass, but the snake didn't budge.**

“Why would you want it to move?” Cassandra mumbled, sliding down in her seat. “That’s even worse.”

**"Do it again," Dudley ordered. Uncle Vernon rapped the glass smartly with his knuckles, but the snake just snoozed on.**

**"This is boring," Dudley moaned. He shuffled away.**

“And that means you’re not going to follow.” Cassandra said. “I don’t want to hear about the snake.”

“Same.” Justin looked slightly faint. He still remembered the basilisk - mostly the bulbous, yellow eyes before nothing until he woke up in the hospital wing weeks later. Colin, too, looked slightly uncomfortable. “After last year I’m not keen on snakes.”

“...Oh no.” Cassandra breathed. “Nope. I am not looking forward to that.”

**Harry moved in front of the tank and looked intently at the snake. ... the only visitor was Aunt Petunia hammering on the door to wake you up; at least he got to visit the rest of the house.**

“Ok, that’s just sad.” Topher said. “Harry, please don’t compare your situation to that of an animal held in captivity.”

“I make no such promises.” Harry retorted. “Besides, I’m right.”

“Your relatives scream at you and yell at you and neglect you and you’re a person.” Oliver’s nose had wrinkled at the mere thought of Harry’s relatives. “I think you have it worse, mate.”

“I’ve learned to tune them out at this point. Makes life easier.”

**The snake suddenly opened its beady eyes. Slowly, very slowly, it raised its head until its eyes were on a level with Harry's.**

**It winked.**

“Hate to break it to you, but snakes can’t wink.” Penelope Clearwater said, and Harry shrugged.

“Looked like it was winking to me.”

“Snakes don’t have eyelids - they literally can’t wink. It’s physically impossible.” Padma added, backing up her housemate. “They don’t need to, they have something over their eyes to prevent moisture loss so they don’t have to.”

“I’m still saying it looked like winking because it did, alright?”

**Harry stared. Then he looked quickly around to see if anyone was watching. They weren't. He looked back at the snake and winked, too.**

**...**

**"I get that all the time."**

**"I know," Harry murmured through the glass, ... "It must be really annoying."**

Alabaster’s eyes narrowed slightly in contemplation. He was going to ask that question that he really didn’t want to ask, it was decided. He just knew that he definitely was not going to like the answer given.

**The snake nodded vigorously.**

**"Where do you come from, anyway?" Harry asked.**

“Are...are you talking to the snake?” Alabaster sounded faint again. Harry nodded once, suddenly apprehensive, but felt himself relax when Alabaster merely slumped down in his seat with a world weary sigh, his usual response to most odd, magical occurrences. “Once again, I hate everything.”

“Can you tell snakes to leave me alone?” Cassandra asked. “I’d rather not be bitten again.”

“Again?” Harry asked, suddenly remembering the fang from the basilisk that had been stuck in his arm at the end of second year.

“It was a grass snake, fortunately.” Cassandra said. Harry hummed, before letting out a small nod.

“Yeah. If I see one near you, I’ll make a note to tell it you’re cool.”

“Thanks.”

**The snake jabbed its tail at a little sign next to the glass. Harry peered at it.**

**...This specimen was bred in the zoo. "Oh, I see -- so you've never been to Brazil?"**

“...You didn’t think the fact you were having a conversation with a huge snake was weird?” Fahra asked, raising a single eyebrow. “Seriously?”

“Hey, weird stuff happens around me all the time!” Harry said in defense.

“Accidental magic doesn’t usually manifest in the form of suddenly understanding snakes.” Charlie pointed out, snorting when Harry merely stuck his tongue out at him in retaliation.

**As the snake shook its head, a deafening shout behind Harry made both of them jump. ...**

**Dudley came waddling toward them as fast as he could.**

“Waddling? Really?” Parvati’s nose wrinkled. “How large is he?”

“I think that he’s too big for his school uniform.” Harry said, voice contemplative. “As in, they literally do not stock any more of it in his size anymore.”

“That’s becoming a health hazard.” Topher muttered. “I want to strangle your aunt and uncle. They’re terrible guardians to both you and Dudley. Allowing him to get to that size...un-fucking-believable.”

**"Out of the way, you," he said, punching Harry in the ribs. ...the next, they had leapt back with howls of horror.**

“What happened?” Seamus leaned forward, the excited anticipation coming off him in waves.

**Harry sat up and gasped; the glass front of the boa constrictor's tank had vanished.**

“The vanishing glass!” Hermione crowed, the meaning of the title finally clear to her.

“Are you alright?” Percy asked Cassandra, who looked very pale.

“Not really.” She admitted. “This is a boa constrictor. They’re big. They swallow cows whole and now it’s been released and is just slithering around all scaly and -” She cut herself off with a shudder. “They squeeze their prey to death beforehand; it’s not - it’s ew.”

**The great snake was uncoiling itself rapidly, slithering out onto the floor. ...Harry could have sworn a low, hissing voice said, "Brazil, here I come... Thanksss, amigo."**

“A polite snake - what a rarity.” An older Gryffindor drawled, and most of the Slytherin table definitely took offence at that.

“Ok, what is up with the hatred towards Slytherin?” Alabaster had to ask.

“You Know Who came from Slytherin.” Ron said. Alabaster blinked.

“...Your point? One bad wizard came from Slytherin. Maybe a few did. Doesn’t mean the entire house is bad - they’re just people.” Alabaster stated. “If anything, the obvious hatred towards them will make them worse than they are. Colours your view - negatively, right now. It’s like how...how if everyone looked at what I’ve done and judged all of Hecate’s children like that. It’s not right.”

“I’ve told you that what happened was not your fault before.” Topher said, catching on to Alabaster’s self deprecating tone. “He would have killed you if you didn’t.”

“I may not have had a choice, but I...I still did it.” Alabaster said. “And I’m not elaborating - if we’re covering important points of my life it’ll come up, and I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

**The keeper of the reptile house was in shock.**

**"But the glass," he kept saying, "where did the glass go?"**

“Where do lost things go?” Alabaster asked the air. “Like. That one sock that vanishes into the abyss all the time.”

“Your odd socks make me want to die, sometimes it annoys me. So. Much.” Fahra said with feeling. Alabaster merely blew her a sarcastic kiss.

“Into non-being, which is to say, everything.” Luna said in answer, voice dreamy. Alabaster let out a confused noise.

“What does that even  _ mean _ ?”

“The energy regarding the object goes into the world, as it were.” Filius explained. “Things don’t just vanish. The inert energy an object has, it has to go somewhere.”

“...That doesn’t answer where my missing socks go, but thanks...I think.”

**The zoo director himself made Aunt Petunia a cup of strong, sweet tea ... the snake hadn't done anything except snap playfully at their heels**

Cassandra let out a minorly distressed noise. Even the thought of it snapping made her feel a little queasy. Snakes, she decided, she would never like. The reptile one, of course, not the ones wearing green robes and currently sitting in the Great Hall. She was yet to judge them, and decided to wait until a later date to make any decisions regarding them.

**as it passed, but by the time they were all back in Uncle Vernon's car,... Piers calming down enough to say, "Harry was talking to it, weren't you, Harry?"**

This earned many, many groans.

“Great. You’re screwed.” Alicia muttered. Harry shrugged a shoulder, unbothered.

“It’s already happened. It wasn’t that bad. Could’ve been worse.”

**Uncle Vernon waited until Piers was safely out of the house before starting on Harry. He was so angry he could hardly speak. He managed to say, "Go -- cupboard -- stay -- no meals,"**

Poppy’s lips thinned as she added ‘nutrition’ to her notes and Alabaster turned to look at Harry with wide, round eyes. Even he had never been denied meals...a meal or two, maybe, but nothing like meals, which implied more than the one. “How...often was that?”

“...Often.” Harry eventually admitted. “It’s not a big deal. It’s not like they hit me or anything.”

“It’s still abuse.” Alabaster said, noting the way Harry flinched and opened his mouth as though to protest. “That is what it is, kid. Neglect is abuse. Talking about you as though you’re lesser is abuse. Pretending you don’t exist is abuse. Locking you up and starving you is abuse.”

“You’re making it sound horrible.”

“Because it is.” Alabaster’s voice broke at that, and he blinked furiously to stop himself from crying. “The way they’re treating you is so horribly inhumane and...fucking hell, I told myself I wouldn’t cry.”

“Don’t cry!” Harry now sounded panicked. “It’s ok, I’m used -”

“Not helping.” Fahra’s voice was quiet, and she watched when Alabaster hid his head against Topher’s shoulder and the older man sighed, resting his chin on top of her brother’s hair.

**before he collapsed into a chair, and Aunt Petunia had to run and get him a large brandy.**

Arthur looked very, very uncomfortable at that. Alcohol plus this man did not seem like a good combination, considering how angry he was regarding Harry. For a ridiculously stupid reason, he shouldn’t even be angry at Harry for merely talking to a snake. It was like someone being angry for a person talking to a dog - much like they did with the current dog present - it was just something people did.

He hoped that Vernon didn’t get drunk, or if he did, that he didn’t hurt the people in his house. He may not like what he heard about Petunia, but no one deserved to be hit by someone who they should trust. Someone who they should be able to go to for safety, for comfort.

**Harry lay in his dark cupboard much later, wishing he had a watch. ...he couldn't risk sneaking to the kitchen for some food.**

Alabaster let out another distressed noise and Remus had to bite back a whine of distress. Dog had absolutely no trouble with letting his distress be known, whining and trying to burrow his head into Harry’s stomach. The boy wrapped his arms around Dog’s neck, burying his face into the fur atop his head.

**He'd lived with the Dursleys almost ten years, ten miserable years...He couldn't remember being in the car when his parents had died.**

“I do.” Topher sucked in a shaky breath. “I was in the car when my mum died. You don’t...you don’t forget that. Knowing that they lied...it makes sense. It doesn’t matter how young you were - you remember the hurt and the pain. The screaming, if there was any.”

“Topher…” Fahra sounded heartbroken, and Alabaster twined his fingers with Tophers, pulling their joined hands up to his lips and pressing a kiss against dark knuckles.

“I’m sorry.” Harry said. Topher managed a strained smile.

“It was a long time ago. It’s fine.”

**Sometimes, when he strained his memory ... a blinding flash of green light and a burning pain on his forehead.**

Regulus felt his breath catch in his throat and tried not to panic. You Know Who had actually cast the curse at Harry? He’d assumed Lily had maybe fired a spell before she died, had managed to kill Voldemort before he’d even managed it - but no. Harry literally survived the curse, had it cast at him and had no effect. How did that even work?

**This, he supposed, was the crash, though he couldn't imagine where all the green light came from. ...There were no photographs of them in the house.**

“But...Lily was Petunia’s sister.” Remus’ eyes had narrowed, brows furrowed. “There should be some pictures…”

“Petunia, from what we know, hates wizards. She’d hate her sister.” Regulus pointed out. “It’s not that surprising - it’s like how some purebloods hate squibs in their family. Or how everyone in mine hated Sirius.”

“Except you.” Cassandra said. Regulus shrugged.

“He was my protector. Of course I didn’t hate him - wanted to strangle him sometimes, but I couldn’t hate him.”

“So normal, siblingly feelings.” Fahra said. “I, too, constantly want to strangle Al, but he’s my dumb little brother and I love him.”

“I’m older than you.” Alabaster reminded Fahra, who pretended that she hadn’t heard him.

**When he had been younger, Harry had dreamed and dreamed of some unknown relation coming to take him away, but it had never happened; the Dursleys were his only family.**

“Not anymore!” Ron declared. “You’re a Weasley now!”

“Ugh, not another brother.” Ginny complained, her voice full of laughter. “Why couldn’t you have been a girl?”

“Hermione is an honorary Weasley.” George stated. “Not officially, yet, because her parents are cool, but still a Weasley.”

“I’m honored.” Hermione’s voice was deadpan.

“And hey, if he doesn’t want to be a Weasley, he can join the dysfunctional demigod family.” Cassandra said. “Blood doesn’t dictate family. That’s stupid. Family is love and happiness and all that.”

“Thanks.” Harry managed, voice slightly choked up. “I mean it.”

**Yet sometimes he thought (or maybe hoped) that strangers in the street seemed to know him. ...A wild-looking old woman dressed all in green had waved merrily at him once on a bus….they seemed to vanish the second Harry tried to get a closer look.**

“That’s...really bad.” Susan bit her lip. “That they can get so close. What if one of You Know Who’s people figured out where you lived and tried to kill you?”

“That is an excellent question.” Harry said, thinking about the issue regarding Black. Why had he waited until Hogwarts to kill Harry, or attempt to? Was it just because he knew that Harry was there, whereas he’d been locked up long enough that he may not know he lived at Privet Drive?

Dumbledore, meanwhile, looked slightly concerned. Bloodwards worked on the house, sure, but he hadn’t given thought to outside the property lines. That...was going to be an issue.

**At school, Harry had no one. ... nobody liked to disagree with Dudley's gang.**

“Well, we do.” Hermione sniffed.

“Dudley and his mates would be terrified of everyone here.” Harry decided. “Or at least Dudley because he actually knows about magic.”

“It would be so good -” Fred started.

“ - To scare the boy so bad.” George finished. “Get him to leave you alone.”

“Boys.” Molly chided, though her tone wasn’t very harsh. There was a period of silence, which determined that the chapter was finished. There was no huge discussion that broke out, like had happened last time, and once more the narrator began the next chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Chapter: 3442  
> Commentary: 8975  
> Chapter length (without editing): 12417


	4. Harry Can't Catch a Letter (Letters From No One)

**The Letters From No One**

"So...Hogwarts letter?" Lavender hazarded and Hermione nodded her agreement.

"But letters." Neville pointed out. "How many letters did you get?"

"You'll find out." Harry said, unable to not grin at the memory.

**The escape of the Brazilian boa constrictor earned Harry ... the summer holidays had started**

Alabaster sucked in a deep breath. “How long was that, exactly?”

“...A couple weeks.” Harry said, and immediately added more when Alabaster’s nails dug into his palms. “But I was allowed out for, like, school and chores and stuff.”

“How many of these chores were not the usual jobs of kids your age?” Fahra’s voice was deceptively casual, and Harry winced a little. “Thought so.”

**and Dudley had already broken ... knocked down old Mrs. Figg as she crossed Privet Drive on her crutches.**

“He’s so horrible!” Susan exclaimed, unable to hold it in. “I bet he didn’t even feel bad about poor Mrs Figg!”

“And I bet he cried and got all his broken stuff replaced.” Ernie snarled. “Spoiled little shi -”

“I’ve just realised the no swearing rule I tried to enforce is not going to work.” Topher said to Cassandra, who looked impressed at the words coming out of Ernie’s mouth. He only stopped when Pomona threatened to take points away, although the reprimand seemed very half hearted.

“At least you tried.” Cassandra said, patting his arm in mock consolation.

**Harry was glad school was over, but there was no escaping Dudley's gang, who visited the house every single day. Piers, Dennis,**

Colin felt his nose wrinkle. His little brother was called Dennis, and he had shown signs of magic and he was nice. A good kid, even if they had squabbles - siblings did, after all. It made him feel vaguely ill to think that his little brother shared a name with one of Harry’s tormentors.

**Malcolm, and Gordon were...Dudley's favorite sport: Harry Hunting.**

“Sounds like a rubbish sport.” Hermione sniffed. “I wouldn’t endorse it at all.”

“...I can’t think of a word like hunting that starts with a d.” Cassandra frowned. “I really, really want to say doing the same to the Dursleys, but the alliteration is too good to break.”

“Didn’t think you knew what alliteration was, considering your lack of schooling.” Alabaster teased, letting out a mock gasp of pain when Cassandra hit his arm in reprimand.

**This was why Harry spent as much time as possible out of the house, ... the first time in his life, he wouldn't be with Dudley.**

“I hate British things.” Topher decided. “Hate them. Secondary school is…”

“The second school you go to.” Hermione said, rolling her eyes. Topher blinked, before hiding his face in his hands.

“Yeah, yeah, that was...pretty obvious.” He muttered, and Ron snorted in amusement.

“Makes more sense than American schooling. Like, elementary school, what even is that?” Hermione muttered.

**Dudley had been accepted at Uncle Vernon's old private... Dudley thought this was very funny.**

"Why do they find it funny? I bet tons of kids go to public schools." Cassandra frowned.

"It's explained. But also because it was another way the Dursleys made their precious Dudders know he was special." Harry rolled his eyes. "He got a special school and I was stuck with the very basics of what was required."

"I hate them." Hermione hissed. "I hate them so much."

“You’re not alone with that, trust me.” Fahra’s eyes narrowed.

**"They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall," he told Harry. "Want to come upstairs and practice?"**

"If he even tries it -" Angelina's threat was cut off by a snort from Harry.

"Don't worry. I dealt with it pretty well, if I do say so myself."

**"No, thanks," said Harry. "The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it -- it might be sick." Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said.**

It took a second for the words to register, before the hall was full of laughter.

"I think he's still trying to figure it out." Harry added, relieved that any lingering tension had been effectively dissolved - even Fahra, who had an almost perpetual frown on her face, was giggling, something that didn't seem to suit her. It felt much too...young, although the girl was only nineteen.

Despite himself, even Snape's lips were curled upwards slightly. He couldn't help it - it reminded him too much of Lily's quick wit and sense of humour.

"Just like Lily." Remus managed to get out. "You've got her wit." Harry beamed up at his professor. Something similar to his mum, other than his signature green eyes.

**One day in July, Aunt Petunia took Dudley to London to buy his Smeltings uniform,**

**leaving Harry at Mrs. Figg's…. a bit of chocolate cake that tasted as though she'd had it for several years.**

“The nicest day I’d had in a long time.” Harry said, slightly absently. “I wonder if she knew that would be the last time she’d look after me, what with secondary school and Dudley not being in the house. No need to have me out of the picture when I could be cleaning the house.”

“...This kidnapping plan -”

“Oh, come on!” Harry flung his hands in the air at Ginny’s comment. “I’m older than you!”

“You evidently aren’t doing anything about leaving there.” Ginny retorted, turning to Alabaster. “Can you put me on your mental list?”

“Yes, of course. With you, Hermione and Fahra on this list, we’ll just intimidate them into giving us Harry.” Alabaster agreed. Dumbledore opened his mouth, as though to protest, but a particularly cold look from Minerva stopped him before the words had even formed on his tongue.

**That evening, Dudley ... maroon tailcoats, orange knickerbockers, and flat straw hats called boaters.**

The more fashion conscious students looked appropriately horrified at the description of said uniform. “Those colours -”

“ - Absolutely hideous -”

“- The only straw hats allowed are sun hats!” Having seen said uniform, Harry could only agree wholeheartedly.

It was a truly horrible combination.

**They also carried knobbly sticks, used for hitting each other while the teachers weren't looking. This was supposed to be good training for later life.**

“So hitting other students is supposed to be good?” Filius’ lips were pursed together.

“Uh, but don’t you sort of...do the same thing? With wands, I mean.” Cassandra sunk down a little in her seat as every set of eyes seemed to be trained on her, but she carried on. “I mean, if you can prove to me that students don’t decide to...to hit each other with spells when teachers aren’t looking, I’ll take it back. It just seems...a little hypocritical. Sorry.” She added the last word hastily, even though judging from the sheepish looks from a majority of the students, she’d hit the nose with that point.

Almost no one was innocent of duelling other students in the hallways when teachers weren’t watching. Nothing overtly damaging, but then again, Madame Pomfrey could regrow bones overnight, so that wasn’t a good way to...restrict what spells were used by duelling students.

**As he looked at Dudley in his new knickerbockers,... she couldn't believe it was her Ickle Dudleykins,**

Fred and George cringed in unison at that. It sounded much too similar to the name they used to tease Ron when Molly was feeling motherly towards her youngest son. They silently agreed to never, ever use that again.

Besides, they could probably come up with better, anyway.

**he looked so handsome and grown-up. Harry didn't trust himself to speak. He thought two of his ribs might already have cracked from trying not to laugh.**

Harry had no such restraint now, pulling the image to the forefront of his mind and letting out a guffaw. “Yeah, it was terrible, but at least I didn’t have to wear the thing. Thank Merlin for public schools. Thank Merlin for  _ Hogwarts. _ ”

“I thought robes were horrendous, but at least they’re easy to customise within the school rules.” Lavender said, truly relieved. She was usually found with slightly too elaborate hairstyles and a multitude of pins and brooches that alternated on a day to day basis. The robes themselves weren’t unflattering, either, if you wore them properly - redeemable, unlike the monstrosity of the Smeltings uniform.

**There was a horrible smell in the kitchen the next morning when Harry went in for breakfast.**

“Did your aunt try to cook?” Saemus asked, earning snorts from a large majority of the students.

“No, and thank God for that miracle.” Harry answered.

**It seemed to be coming from a large metal tub in the sink….**

**"Your new school uniform," she said.**

“Oh yeah, you have uniforms over here.” Fahra clicked her fingers as though in realisation.

“You didn’t get that from the fact that literally every child here is wearing the exact same thing?” Topher’s voice was deadpan.

“They’re wearing different colours!” She protested and Alabaster sighed heavily and theatrically.

“I’m assuming due to different houses.” He said. “Considering we know that there are different houses here.”

“...That makes sense, actually.”

**Harry looked in the bowl again.**

**"Oh," he said, "I didn't realize it had to be so wet."**

Snorts resounded at that, and Charlie made an amused sound in the back of his throat.

“I don’t think she’s going to get that.” He stated, and Harry shrugged.

“She didn’t, but you know, gotta make light of everything in that place or I’ll go mad.”

“Like you aren’t already mad?” Seamus said, laughing and ducking the swat aimed at his head.

**"Don't be stupid," snapped Aunt Petunia. "I'm dyeing some of Dudley's old things gray for you. It'll look just like everyone else's when I've finished."**

“I think that school uniforms usually have school crests on them.” Hermione pointed out. “Ours do, anyway.”

“Do you really think my aunt would spend money on a new uniform for me?” Harry asked, and Hermione grit her teeth together. Parvati’s lips twisted into a scowl.

“Look, regarding the kidnapping plan -” She started, only to be cut off by a loud groan from Harry. “I know your list is probably full, but know that at least the Gryffindor third years are one hundred percent behind you.”

“And the Quidditch team.” Oliver added, with nods from the rest of the team.

“And you have the Weasley’s, too.” Ron thought to add. Alabaster may have grinned a little.

“We could always use back up.”

“I hate you all.” Harry muttered. “Seriously. You’re all terrible.”

**Harry seriously doubted this, but thought it best not to argue….like he was wearing bits of old elephant skin, probably.**

“I can see that.” Topher said, eying Harry critically. “You’re way too skinny.”

“I have a really high metabolism?” Harry tried, before sighing heavily when Topher raised an eyebrow. “Are you going to force me to eat?”

“Not force you.” Topher’s eyes softened slightly. “Shoving food at you won’t help, it’ll just make you feel ill. Like how some people go on crazy diets but get sick from it. It’s not healthy, but doing things like...like slowly increasing portions and keeping track of what foods you’re eating? That’s helpful. It’ll help with giving you more energy, too.”

Molly cast her mind back to practically piling food on Harry’s plate when he stayed with them over the summer, and sighed internally. She should have known, but hadn’t thought of anything other than needing to fatten the child up - he was so small, so tiny - and hadn’t thought maybe you could have too much of a good thing.

**Dudley and Uncle Vernon came in, both with wrinkled noses... his Smelting stick, which he carried everywhere, on the table.**

Angelina had to take a deep, calming breath. Sure, the mention of the fact that Dudley carried his stick everywhere shouldn’t have made her grit her teeth. It was the fact that he was banging it against items that got her. She guessed that it would extend to people, and Harry would be the one feeling the hit. She would bet on it, but honestly didn’t want to linger on that thought. It made her feel slightly ill.

**They heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the doormat.**

**"Get the mail, Dudley," said Uncle Vernon from behind his paper.**

Dean blinked. “Wait. He made his son do something?”

“Wait for it.” Harry muttered.

**"Make Harry get it."**

**"Get the mail, Harry."**

**"Make Dudley get it."**

**"Poke him with your Smelting stick, Dudley."**

“And order is restored.” Harry said, pretending not to notice the slightly terrifying growl from the head table, almost mimicking the one made by Dog from his place under the Gryffindor table. He also pretended that Angelina, Alicia and Katie didn’t have their heads together, whispering to each other furtively. Judging by the impressed, albeit slightly intimidated, expressions on the Weasley twins' faces, they were planning revenge of some sort, and it was going to be swift and terrifying.

**Harry dodged the Smelting stick and went to get the mail. Three things lay on the doormat: a postcard from Uncle Vernon's sister Marge,**

Harry’s lips twitched up slightly at the name, going back to the night he blew her up. Of course, it was scary at the time, what with thinking he was going to be expelled, and the fright of his life when he saw the dog (here, he patted Dog’s head fondly) in the bushes, but he could look back on it fondly. He was at Hogwarts, and the dog was just Dog who stole bacon from Percy’s plate when he wasn’t paying attention.

And, of course, Marge had gotten what she’d deserved - and had no memory of it, too.

**who was vacationing on the Isle of Wight, a brown envelope that looked like a bill, and -- a letter for Harry.**

“I’m assuming it’s from no one?” Cassandra said, voice amused. Harry shrugged.

“I had no one who would write to me.” He said, and Remus was still very confused at that. He had definitely sent letters when he could afford to, though reading about his relatives he wouldn’t be surprised if they’d destroyed them before Harry even saw them. “I didn’t even have a library card, so nothing about overdue books or whatever. I didn’t actually get to read one until my birthday.”

“...Until your birthday.” Neville repeated, voice surprisingly dry for him. “Why do I have the worst feeling? Like this is going to end terribly?”

“It’s going to be  _ brilliant _ .” Lee Jordan corrected with a toothy grin.

**Harry picked it up and stared at it, his heart twanging like a giant elastic band. No one, ever, in his whole life, had written to him. Who would? He had no friends,**

“Now you do.” Ron disagreed.

“We should all write to you.” Dean said. “Specifically the Muggle way. Purely to piss off the Dursleys.”

“I think that wouldn’t work.” Harry sighed. “Besides, apparently I’m getting kidnapped, so the whole point is moot.”

“So you’ve accepted that, then?” Bill sounded very amused, and Harry shrugged.

“I mean, I guess? None of my protests have worked. Besides, anywhere has to be better than the Dursleys.”

**no other relatives -- he didn't belong ...**

**Mr. H. Potter**

**The Cupboard under the Stairs**

“How the Hades did you miss that?” Alabaster looked close to screaming. “Right there, addressed in black and white -”

“The ink was green.” Harry corrected absently.

“ - the fact that this child was sleeping in a cupboard under the stairs?!” Alabaster continued as though Harry hadn’t interrupted him.

“The quill used to write them is charmed - we go through hundreds of letters in a matter of days, Mister Torrington.” Dumbledore explained, his lips pursed as though in thought. “It’s efficient.”

“Maybe you should do something so that if a child is sleeping in a closet you actually...you know, investigate it?” Alabaster was tempted to swear a lot, but managed to not lose his cool...much. “You’re fucking  _ wizards _ \- don’t you have a charm for this sort of thing?  _ Oh this sounds suspicious we should put it to one side _ ?”

“An excellent point.” Pomona said, sounding slightly stunned at how obviously that was stated. “Something we shall definitely look into as soon as possible.”

**4 Privet Drive**

**Little Whinging**

**Surrey**

**The envelope was thick and heavy, made of yellowish parchment, and the address was written in emerald-green ink.**

“Isn’t parchment made from animal skin?” Fahra asked. “What about vegan students? Actually, why do you use quills? Aren’t you trying to blend in with Muggles at least a little?”

“...All good points.” Hermione stated. “I don’t have an answer.”

“Merlin, but I would kill for a biro and lined paper.” Harry said. “I can never write in straight lines on parchment, and reinking a quill is hell.”

“You’re very passionate about this, huh?” Charlie said, laughing when Harry nodded emphatically.

“It’s tradition.” Aurora Sinistra decided on as an explanation. Justin Finch-Fletchley snorted.

“It’s annoying, truth be told.”

**There was no stamp.**

**... a purple wax seal bearing a coat of arms; a lion, an eagle, a badger, and a snake surrounding a large letter H.**

“So the houses, yeah?” Cassandra said. “You all have like...an animal as a mascot? I’ve seen the lion on your uniforms, and I’m assuming the Slytherins are the snake?”

“Yep.” Seamus grinned. “The ‘Puffs are badgers, the Ravenclaws eagles.”

“I’d think the Ravenclaws would be ravens.” Alabaster said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It’s in the name, I mean  _ come on _ …”

**"Hurry up, boy!" shouted Uncle Vernon from the kitchen. "What are you doing, checking for letter bombs?" He chuckled at his own joke.**

George wrinkled his nose. "That wasn't even funny."

"Were we truly expecting a joke from him to be funny?" Fred retorted and his twin nodded slightly.

"I suppose you're right."

"'Course I am."

**Harry went back to the kitchen, still staring at his letter. He handed Uncle Vernon the bill and the postcard, sat down, and slowly began to open the yellow envelope.**

Groans resounded around the hall as Ginny looked at Harry incredulously.

“You opened it in front of them?” She asked and Harry shrugged, a little sheepish.

“Yeah, that was...pretty stupid.” He admitted. “Also, I was ten.”

**Uncle Vernon ripped open the bill, snorted in disgust, and flipped over the postcard.**

**"Marge's ill," he informed Aunt Petunia. "Ate a funny whelk..."**

Harry smiled a little at that. “Hope it was horrible.”

“Did anyone say anything?” Molly said, obviously not going to reprimand Harry for hating this woman - she remembered him saying that she had called his mother a bitch and...well.

There was no point. If this woman was as terrible as she seemed to be, then there was no point in asking Harry to show a little respect. Especially if this Marge didn’t show him any in return.

**"Dad!" said Dudley suddenly. "Dad, Harry's got something!"**

Fahra’s groan was very similar to the noise Alabaster let out whenever something about the magical world was revealed. She didn’t, however, hit her head against the table like he did, but shot a terrifying glare at the book. Suddenly, everyone was glad that it was being narrated by a charm, and not read aloud by a person.

**Harry was on the point of unfolding his letter, which was written on the same heavy parchment as the envelope, when it was jerked sharply out of his hand by Uncle Vernon.**

“Give him that back, you overgrown excuse of a man!” Fahra snarled. “Oh I wish I could run him through with my swords.”

“Unfortunately, this man is, in the loosest definition of the word, mundane.” Alabaster paused. “Also you are yelling at a book.”

“I know I am yelling at a book.” Fahra got out through gritted teeth. “But, unfortunately, he isn’t here, so I am having to use the book as a substitute.”

**"That's mine!" said Harry, trying to snatch it back.**

**"Who'd be writing to you?" sneered Uncle Vernon, shaking the letter open with one hand and glancing at it.**

“Isn’t that illegal? Taking someone else's post?” Colin asked, voice surprisingly outraged. “That’s why postmen have to make sure the post reaches the correct person.”

“But Harry’s a minor. Guardians have a legal right to read their post - at least, up until the child is of age.” Topher pointed out. “My uncle used to go through some stuff I got regarding my mother’s will after she died. It wasn’t anything malicious, though, so I was fine with it - this is obviously completely different and I want to slap Vernon.”

“I would pay to see you take down this man.” Regulus said, looking over Topher almost appreciatively. “You look like you could take him down with one blow.”

**His face went from red to green faster than a set of traffic lights. And it didn't stop there. Within seconds it was the grayish white of old porridge.**

**"P-P-Petunia!" he gasped.**

“Dramatic much?” Ernie muttered, causing his friends to snort.

“Well, we know what they’re like around magic.” Susan pointed out, and Hannah grinned a little.

“I remember the letters comment.” She said. “Oh, this is going to make him lose it.”

“Should we be happy about that? They’ll blame Harry.” Justin commented, and at that any humour was lost. Would they take out the influx of letters that Hannah had guessed were to come on Harry? They hoped not.

**Dudley tried to grab the letter to read it, but Uncle Vernon held it high out of his reach. ...She clutched her throat and made a choking noise.**

**"Vernon! Oh my goodness -- Vernon!"**

“Someone’s a drama queen.” Blaise muttered to Theo, who snorted.

“We’re in the house with some of the biggest drama queens, though.” He murmured back, jerking his head a little in the direction of Draco. Blaise snickered at that. Sure, they were friends, but one thing Draco wasn’t was quiet. If he could make anything a scene, he would take it and turn up the entertainment factor by at least ten per cent. Sometimes it got annoying, especially when it involved a certain Potter boy. Blaise was certain that half of the time Draco was torn between hatred and a sudden urge to hold the chosen one's hand and stare soulfully into his eyes. It was both highly amusing and a little bit sickening.

Severus, on the other hand, was remembering just how overdramatic Petunia could be. He had once wondered if she’d grow out of it as she got older and matured - apparently, she hadn’t.

**They stared at each other, seeming to have forgotten that Harry and Dudley were still in the room. Dudley wasn't used to being ignored.**

“Might do him some good, then.” Ron muttered, rolling his eyes.

**He gave his father a sharp tap on the head with his Smelting stick.**

That invoked multiple exchanged looks of complete and utter bewilderment between the adults gathered. These poor excuses of parents let their child get away with such behaviour? Judging from the reading and Harry’s comments, this child was a horrible bully - and it was no such wonder, if this was how he was treated by his parents. That was, being allowed to run riot without any rules present at all.

**"I want to read that letter," he said loudly.**

“It isn’t yours to read!” Padma said, almost groaning at the words. “He’s so entitled.”

“A right little shit.” Terry agreed, ignoring Flitwick’s reprimand for his language. It seemed as though, since Topher had given up on trying to stop expletives, the teachers had taken it upon themselves to stop the cursing. It was...probably going to fail just as badly as Topher’s attempts had.

**"I want to read it," said Harry furiously, "as it's mine."**

“I wonder if you’ve inherited the temper of your parents.” Remus pondered and Regulus shuddered slightly.

“Lily’s temper was explosive. I swear you could hear her yelling from across the school sometimes.” He said, voice reminiscent. “Mostly at my brother, to be honest. Sometimes at James.”

“James was so laid back, it took a lot to get him mad.” Remus added. “They mellowed eachother out a lot.”

“Why did my mum yell at my dad a lot?” Harry asked, and Remus smirked a little.

“He was a notorious prankster.” He said, trying not to look at Severus who was definitely scowling a little at that reminder. “No one was safe from him and his friends.”

“Green hair for a week.” Regulus muttered, and Cassandra snorted.

“You could probably pull it off.” Alabaster assured him. “Green’s a good colour.”

**"Get out, both of you," croaked Uncle Vernon, stuffing the letter back inside its envelope.**

**Harry didn't move.**

"This isn't going to end well." Ron muttered to Hermione, who nodded in agreement. When Harry got very still, it was followed either by a burst of temper or a very dramatic speech. Both his friends knew exactly which one was coming next and braced themselves.

**"I WANT MY LETTER!" he shouted.**

The narrator's tone increased to match the volume that Harry had yelled, and it honestly shocked those who hadn't seen or heard Harry lose his temper before. Harry felt his ears turn red and tried to slip under the table as Regulus blinked a few times, before snorting. "That is definitely Evans' temper there."

"I'm surprised it wasn't more wordy." Remus countered. "And the language was tame."

"She had an accent that really came through." Amelia added. Though she was a little older than the Marauders, she had heard Lily yelling at James Potter enough that she remembered. Her accent definitely got thicker the angrier she got.

Severus, of course, knew all this. He'd learned how to hide his accent, a point of weakness for any young muggleborn sorted into Slytherin - though he was not muggleborn, his muggle father made him a target in Slytherin. Not to mention he was a target outside of Slytherin, too, for being too odd and quiet and...well, Slytherin. He'd lost the accent purposely, but Lily never bothered, though it definitely became more prominent when she became emotional - both positive and negative.

**"Let me see it!" demanded Dudley.**

**"OUT!" roared Uncle Vernon, and he took both Harry and Dudley by the scruffs of their necks and threw them into the hall,**

Harry winced, rubbing the back of his neck in remembered pain. “Yeah, that did hurt.”

“The fact he did it to his own son is...concerning.” McGonagall murmured to Madam Pomphrey, who nodded her agreement. A sign that, even though the two muggles spoiled their son rotten, the man at least wouldn’t hesitate to lay a harsh hand on him if he annoyed him enough.

**slamming the kitchen door behind them. Harry and Dudley promptly had a furious but silent fight over who would listen at the keyhole;**

“You do realise this kid is at least four times your size, right?” Lee asked, raising an eyebrow. “Did you actually expect to win?”

“Hey, just ‘cause you’re small doesn’t mean you can be any less fierce.” Cassandra argued. “Just fight dirty - bite and scratch. Break their kneecaps.”

“I wasn’t expecting that from you.” Percy said, after blinking a few times. “Fahra, maybe, but not you.”

“Blonde curls, blue eyes, freckles and dimples - best way to get people to underestimate you.” Cassandra said with a beautiful smile. “How do you think I’ve survived on the streets so long? Sure, these three helped, but I can scream loud enough to put a banshee to shame, and ramming an elbow into someone’s stomach winds them just as much as punching them in the face.”

“I think I’ve found my favourite person, next to Dean.” Seamus managed, and laughed when Cassandra blew him a playful kiss.

**Dudley won, so Harry, his glasses dangling from one ear, lay flat on his stomach to listen at the crack between door and floor.**

“I am making a note to fight dirty next time.” Harry said in response to the ‘what were you expecting’ looks directed his way. “I'll knee him in the crotch next time.” A few guys winced at that, but Cassandra nodded sagely.

“Also a good option.” She agreed.

**"Vernon," Aunt Petunia was saying in a quivering voice, "look at the address -- how could they possibly know where he sleeps? You don't think they're watching the house?"**

“Because we have nothing else to worry about?” Tonks asked, her voice a drawl. “And if we were and knew that you were making him sleep in a cupboard? You’d know about it, because we would have taken some form of action.”

**"Watching -- spying -- might be following us," muttered Uncle Vernon wildly.**

“And the paranoia kicks in.” Harry said, voice surprisingly cheery. “It only gets worse from here on in, guys. He went mental.”

“You mean he wasn’t already?” Topher muttered, for once not commenting on the use of the word ‘mental’, causing quite a few snorts of laughter from those who heard.

**"But what should we do, Vernon? Should we write back? Tell them we don't want--"**

“If it reached the deadline and we had no response, we would have checked in.” McGonagall’s lips were pursed. “In fact, we did send someone - though not to Privet Drive.”

“I told you - it gets worse.” Harry said at the looks of confusion. “Like, really worse.”

**Harry could see Uncle Vernon's shiny black shoes pacing up and down the kitchen.**

**...**

**"I'm not having one in the house, Petunia! Didn't we swear when we took him in we'd stamp out that dangerous nonsense?"**

The room went deathly silent.

“Harry.” Alabaster swallowed down the sudden lump in his throat. “Did they hit you?”

“No. I told you that.” Harry sounded annoyed now. “They never hit me.”

“Really? Because that - that sounds like they did.” Alabaster’s voice had gone quiet.

“I’m not lying to you!”

“What else could stamp it out mean?!”

“Why are you so sure that I’m lying?!”

“Because my father tried to stamp it out of me and he meant it!” Alabaster’s voice had increased suddenly in volume. “Because I’d do something he disapproved of, and if it was magic he would hit me if he thought it would make it stop, and if it didn’t? Well, he obviously wasn’t hitting me hard enough, was he? It took him shoving me in a dark cupboard for hours on end until I was  _ sobbing _ and  _ begging _ for him to realise that nothing would work!” He was breathing heavily after that, hands curled into fists.

“Oh,  _ Al _ .” Cassandra’s voice was a breath, tears rolling down her cheeks and what he’d just yelled finally caught up to him. He wanted to hit himself - stupid, stupid, why did he do that? Why did he say that?

“I’m going to kill him.” Fahra’s voice was nonchalant, and Alabaster’s head whipped around to her.

“Don’t.”

“Nope, I’m going to kill him.” Her head tipped back so she was looking at the ceiling. “Send me back. Now. So I can hunt down the son of a bitch and kill him.”

“Fahra, it’s not im -”

“He  _ hit _ you!” Only then did Alabaster note the horror in her voice, the way it cracked. “You didn’t tell me, he hit you and he traumatised you and - and -” Her words hitched, and Alabaster sighed heavily.

“Come here.” And Fahra was in his arms in an instant, her face hidden against his shoulder, hiding her tears. “It’s...it’s ancient history. You can’t go and kill a man for what happened.”

“I can fucking try.” She muttered, and Alabaster patted the top of her hair, feeling his breathing shudder as Topher rested a hand on his arm, squeezing hard. 

“Look, it doesn’t matter anymore.” Alabaster managed. “It’s done, it happened. Can we just...get on with this and then we can talk about my childhood trauma.” Cassandra let out a tiny whimper, and somehow Alabaster managed to release an arm and squeeze her hand with his own. “Continue, please.”

It seemed as though the hall wasn’t sure how to respond to what had been revealed (although Dog had begun whining uncontrollably, before resting his head in Regulus’ lap when the man began trembling like a leaf) and eventually the narration continued.

**That evening when he got back from work, Uncle Vernon did something he'd never done before; he visited Harry in his cupboard.**

“Wow.” Oliver blinked, effectively breaking the tense atmosphere. “He actually fit?”

“It was a tight fit.” Harry said, voice amused. “But yeah. Somehow he got in without crushing me in the process.”

**"Where's my letter?" said Harry, the moment Uncle Vernon had squeezed through the door. "Who's writing to me?"**

“Questions, questions.” Fred tutted. “Dear Harry, what are your relatives going to say? You know you’re not allowed to ask questions.”

“Well, that rule sucks, so I have elected to ignore it.” Harry retorted.

“Like he does with every rule.” Severus muttered under his breath, quiet enough that no one else caught it. Fortunately.

It didn’t help that the first few chapters of this reading had changed his viewpoint on how Potter had been raised - he was still a rule breaker and a trouble maker, like his father, but he wasn’t a spoiled, rich kid which...made things slightly different. Only slightly, mind, not enough that suddenly he was going to...care about him for him, instead of for Lily. Perish the thought.

He still looked too much like the teenager who had helped make his life a living hell at Hogwarts, and he couldn’t forgive that.

The quote t _ he sins of the fathers are visited upon the children _ could be used in this case - what things James had done to Severus had now impacted Harry’s life, and Severus wished he could feel bad about it. He knew it was  _ wrong _ , somewhere in the back of his mind, but for some reason he could not look past Lily and James and see  _ Harry _ . And that was entirely on him, and (somehow) he only had himself to blame for it.

**"No one. It was addressed to you by mistake," said Uncle Vernon shortly. "I have burned it."**

“He can’t do that!” Was a cry echoed by most of the hall.

“That’s illegal!” Anthony Goldstein protested. “It’s not his letter, he can’t do that!”

“It’s your first Hogwarts letter. It’s practically  _ sacred. _ ” Theodore sounded particularly outraged - in fact, out of all the Slytherins, he was being the one to voice his opinions loudest, which was odd considering how usually he kept to himself, especially in the common room. “That absolute fucking  _ bastard _ .”

“Nott.” Snape’s voice was less of a shout and more of a short, sharp snap of a command. Theodore muttered something mutinous under his breath, but ultimately settled down, not shrugging off Blaise’s hand when he patted his shoulder in comfort.

A few eyes had flickered over to the Slytherin table, though, and some noticed that most of the purebloods, those who had no open animosity towards the other houses, were seething quietly. Harry never thought a Hogwarts letter was as big a deal as it was made out to be back on Privet Drive, but apparently it was.

**"It was not a mistake," said Harry angrily, "it had my cupboard on it."**

**... Your aunt and I have been thinking... you're really getting a bit big for it...**

“It’s a fucking  _ cupboard _ !” Fahra exclaimed, voice indignant. “It was never big enough it was a fucking storage space!”

“It’s fi -”

“You do not have a say in what is fine, Harry. No. You slept in a  _ cupboard  _ for nearly t _ en years _ and think that’s  _ fine _ ?” Fahra nearly snapped, but managed to reign it in. Barely. She wanted to kill something, especially after Alabaster’s confession, and the Dursleys were turning out to be perfect candidates.

“Well, no.” Harry began picking at his nails awkwardly. “But it doesn’t matter anymore, because according to just about everyone, I’m not going back, so…”

**we think it might be nice if you moved into Dudley's second bedroom.**

Hermione’s eye definitely twitched at that. “Please tell me that did not say second bedroom.” No one rushed to correct her, and the word that came out of her mouth was definitely not school appropriate and caused Ron to give her a begrudgingly impressed look. No one reprimanded the brunette, apparently all the teachers were too stunned at perfect Miss Granger who hardly broke the rules (unless it was due to some life threatening thing, which happened far too often considering Hogwarts was a school) swearing.

**"Why?" said Harry.**

“He’s doing something nice!” Harry said in defense when he got some incredulous looks. “For me! I was suspicious!”

“You shouldn’t be.” Justin frowned a little. “That’s just...sad.”

“Story of my life.” Harry said, before grimacing at the pitying look he got from some adults. Fortunately, the narration soon took the attention away from him.

**"Don't ask questions!" snapped his uncle. "Take this stuff upstairs, now."**

**The Dursleys' house had four bedrooms:**

“Ok, now that’s ridiculous.” Percy sneered at that, feeling a sudden flush of anger rise in him. He didn’t care if he wasn’t necessarily the ‘favourite’ Weasley of anyone - Harry was still family by this point. “They had  _ four bedrooms  _ and you got stuck with a cupboard?!”

“But if I got a bedroom, they might give me the impression they like me. Can’t have that.” Harry shrugged.

“Even my uncle, at the age of...what, twenty three, going through college, managed to make sure I had a room. Not that I used it much but...that’s bare minimum.” Topher shook his head.

“And then he made sure that the lot of us had a place to sleep after...the thing.” Cassandra stated, eyes wide. “He gutted out his office. Fahra and I had to share, but he offered to take the couch if we wanted a room each and these...these people couldn’t even do that? They had two spare rooms!”

“Your uncle was ‘alright’?” Regulus asked with a raised brow, voice vaguely amused. “He sounds like a good man. And you ran away?”

“I...I was eleven when he took me in. And his girlfriend was horrible - used the wrong pronouns. He would have to choose and I...I couldn’t risk it.” Topher managed. “Should have. He broke up with her the day I ran away, but after I’d left. I don’t know how he would have done, juggling me and college, but...I think he would have tried.”

“I mean, he put up with my nightmares, so I think he would have done alright.” Cassandra pointed out. “Even if his coffee is gross.”

“Says miss four spoons of sugar and mostly milk.” Alabaster said, and got a stuck out tongue in retaliation.

**one for Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia, ... things that wouldn't fit into his first bedroom.**

“Two bedrooms.” Katie muttered under her breath, still in disbelief. “One for toys. What in Merlin’s name…”

“I want to scream.” Ginny decided. “You get a cupboard and he has too many toys for his own bedroom.”

**It only took Harry one trip upstairs to move everything he owned from the cupboard to this room.**

Alabaster got that - not having a lot, he meant. He’d...ok, once he’d slept in the linen closet, but he did have a room, even if he mostly used it to hide away from his father when his temper got bad. But even then he hadn’t had a lot - even less when he’d ran away. Now he knew what he had, his family (not by blood, but like that mattered) was more important, but the few items he had were also important. His grimoire (spellbook, as Fahra called it, teasing) and his pouch of spell components were things that only he had access to, could share only if he wished, and that...that was worth one trip up the stairs, yet were the most important items to him.

Just because you had little, didn’t mean you didn’t have enough.

**He sat down on the bed and stared around him. ... which was up on a shelf with the end all bent because Dudley had sat on it.**

“I have never been more disgusted by parenting then I am right now.” Arthur muttered to himself. He wished he had the means to buy his kids everything their hearts desired, but with their financial situation, it was a distant dream. The lottery win had been a godsend (and wasn’t that ironic, he thought, eyes flickering to the four demigods sat with them) but the money had gone fast, with the Egypt trip and everything they had to buy after. At least everything would last for a few years - they could reuse the textbooks their older siblings had, and the robes could be enlarged with a few charms. They’d make it by. They always did.

**Other shelves were full of books. They were the only things in the room that looked as though they'd never been touched.**

“Of course.” Anthony muttered. “I doubt he could even read.”

“Now, now. Maybe he has the reading comprehension of a five year old.” Padma said, and Topher couldn’t help but frown at those comments.

“I’m not saying your cousin isn’t awful, because he sounds it,” He started to say to Harry, voice deceptively casual. “But has he been tested for dyslexia? Or any other learning disability? Normally I would assume yes, but -”

“No, he hasn’t.” Harry blinked. “Huh. Do you think maybe that’s why he does so bad at school? I thought he was just…”

“Stupid?” Topher said, voice dry. “Most demigods have dyslexia, which if left unaddressed is a serious reason why we find it hard to make a pass grade, not to mention the ADHD. From the last chapter I might also suggest checking for dyscalculia - like dyslexia for numbers. It doesn’t excuse his behaviour, but may explain his difficulties when it comes to schooling.”

“You’re really interested in this stuff, aren’t you?” Regulus tilted his head a little.

“My dad is Dionysus - he deals with the mind.” Topher replied. “I want to help people. I can help people by learning as much of this stuff as I can, and ways to help deal with it.”

“It’s not like my aunt and uncle would check, though.” Harry snorted a little in disgust. “That would mean accepting something about their precious Dudders is ‘other’ and they would hate that.”

“Which can be more damaging for Dudley than they can believe.” Topher said, but dropped the subject.

For now, at least.

**From downstairs came the sound of Dudley bawling at his mother, I don't want him in there... I need that room... make him get out..."**

“For example, that isn’t due to learning disabilities.” Topher rolled his eyes. “That’s whining and being overly entitled.”

“Ew, white people.”

“Hate to break it to you, babe.” Topher said, amused. “But you are a white people.”

“I can admit we’re entitled and privileged.” Alabaster stated. “Like, I’ve never been called a slur because my melanin count is lower. Because of who I sleep with, yeah, but like. They’re wrong. People who hate people because of something they can’t control are wrong. It’s...it’s bullshit.”

“Well said.” Remus did sound amused at that, but...yeah. He wished that people would think that about his lycanthropy. He wondered if Alabaster would say the same about him if - and he hoped that it wouldn’t turn into when - his condition was found out. “Let me guess - you escalated the situations where these people were wrong, instead of trying to de escalate them?”

“What can I say? Some people need to be punched.” Alabaster shrugged, but high fived Lee when he held up his hand in offering.

**Harry sighed and stretched out on the bed. ... with that letter than up here without it.**

“You know, with what followed, I’m sort of glad I didn’t get to read it?” Harry said. “It was...a wild time, but like...in the best way.”

“I am dreading this.” Neville said, grimacing slightly, but the Weasley twins weren’t even slightly put off.

“It’s going to be awesome!” They declared in complete unison, and Harry had to hide his laugh behind his hand.

**Next morning at breakfast, everyone was rather quiet. ... tortoise through the greenhouse roof, and he still didn't have his room back.**

There was a lot of disgusted muttering at that, but Luna from Ravenclaw frowned for a completely different reason.

“Was the tortoise ok?” She asked, which put a stop to the mutterings because it was such an absurd thing to be concerned about.

“Yeah. I gave him to a neighbor. Or, well, Aunt Petunia did.” Harry said. “But I was the one who found him. Hopefully now he’s living his best, tortoise life, eating all the lettuce his heart desires.” Luna nodded, satisfied, and the book picked up again.

**Harry was thinking about this time yesterday and bitterly wishing he'd opened the letter in the hall. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia kept looking at each other darkly.**

“All this fuss over a letter.” Cedric rolled his eyes. “Honestly.”

“But it’s a  _ magical _ letter, Cedric.” Siobhan Templeton, one of his classmates, reminded him. “Therefore, it’s the worst thing they could possibly imagine.”

“I can think of worse.” Cedric retorted, complete with an eye roll.

**When the mail arrived, Uncle Vernon, who seemed to be trying to be nice to Harry, made Dudley go and get it.**

“Scary, that.” Oliver let out a long, low whistle. “The tosser being nice to you.”

“Wood!” Minerva snapped, and Oliver managed to resist the urge to roll his eyes, knowing it would not end well.

“It was.” Harry agreed. “But there was a reason for it.”

**They heard him banging things with his Smelting stick all the way down the hall.**

“He’s really obsessed with that thing, isn’t he?” Regulus sounded faintly amused. “A bit like when you first get a wand - at least in a wizarding household. Usually the Ministry can’t track underage magic, and...well, the ability to cast magic is always exciting, especially when you can even slightly control it.”

“Doesn’t that put those in muggle households at a disadvantage?” Hermione had to ask, slightly indignant.

“...Not necessarily.” Regulus decided on. “I was still pretty bad at casting spells. I usually avoided doing most spells over the holidays.”

“But you’re a pureblood - wouldn’t you be good at it?” Neville was the one who blurted that out, thinking of his less than stellar displays at magic.

“I was better at charms. And astronomy.” Regulus said. “Not exactly what my parents found impressive. I usually avoided using those outside of Hogwarts, because they wouldn’t be pleased.”

“...Ok, so you’re adopted by us now.” Fahra decided, and Regulus gave her a look. “You’re part of the mismatched demigod family, congrats.”

“We should get, like, jackets or something.” Cassandra decided, and that earned an amused snort from the youngest Black.

**Then he shouted, "There's another one! 'Mr. H. Potter, The Smallest Bedroom, 4 Privet Drive -- '"**

“And there’s the reason!” Harry announced, as most of the hall sighed in disappointment. “He knew Dudley wouldn’t have the sense to keep it quiet.”

**With a strangled cry, Uncle Vernon leapt from his seat ... to get the letter from him,**

So, the fact that Vernon obviously had no qualms with physically taking on his own son, was definitely concerning, regarding Harry’s own health. Remus bit his lip hard, nearly enough to break the skin, because he should have been there. He should have  _ done something _ , not taken it at face value when he was told Harry was fine, because...because he should have  _ known _ . And it was killing him, to hear this, and know he wasn’t there because how would the Ministry accept him, a werewolf, as a guardian? Because Albus told him not to worry? He should have worried, just enough to at least see what Harry was going through with his own two eyes, and not from some narration of a book.

**which was made difficult by the fact that Harry had grabbed Uncle Vernon around the neck from behind.**

Harry, Ron and Hermione exchanged looks at that. Huh. That was...slightly amusing. Harry obviously had to get the jumping on the back of something larger than him from somewhere, but from his uncle to a troll….

Actually, that was a surprisingly accurate comparison.

**After a minute of confused fighting, in which everyone got hit a lot by the Smelting stick, ... And this time he'd make sure they didn't fail. He had a plan.**

“Oh dear.” Hermione said, her voice more amused than worried. Harry looked offended.

“My plans aren’t that bad!” Harry said in protest.

“Harry, I love you, but Ron’s the tactician.” She said. “You make a plan, and it goes to Hell.”

“At least he has the semblance of a plan.” Fahra said. “You should hear when Al has to do something.”

“I am not -”

“‘The plan is we run for it and don’t die’.” Fahra quoted, raising an eyebrow. Alabaster muttered something under his breath, slumping down in his seat.

**The repaired alarm clock rang at six o'clock ... get the letters for number four first.**

“That is actually a really good idea, to be honest.” Alicia admitted.

“Wait for it.” Hermione said, voice dry.

**His heart hammered as he crept across the dark hall toward the front door --**

**"AAAAARRRGH!"**

“And there you have it - foiled again.” Hermione said, as most of the hall jumped at the unexpected noise.

**Harry leapt into the air; he'd trodden on something big and squashy on the doormat -- something alive!**

Harry smiled a little in remembrance. Ah, yes, stepping on his uncle’s face and only getting yelled at was a pretty precious memory. It was up in his top ten, which was...pretty sad, if he thought about it long enough, so decided against doing that.

**Lights clicked on upstairs and to his horror Harry realized that the big, squashy something had been his uncle's face.**

There was dead silence, before the laughter kicked off when Terry Boot let out a very loud snort. It shouldn’t have been that funny, knowing what Vernon was capable of, but it was priceless. The fact that the man had practically been asking for it since the very beginning of the book was just the icing on the cake.

**Uncle Vernon had been lying at the foot of the front door in a sleeping bag, clearly making sure that Harry didn't do exactly what he'd been trying to do.**

“I’m not saying he should, but he could’ve just...put a lock on your bedroom door.” Topher said.

“Oh, no, that was last year.” Harry said absently. Topher blinked.

“What?”

“What?” Harry responded, and Topher decided the best thing to do right now was to just drop it. For now, at least.

**He shouted at Harry for about half an hour ... three letters addressed in green ink.**

Terence Higgs raised an eyebrow. “They’re upping the amount.”

“I wonder how many these Muggles will have to deal with in the end.” Cassius hummed, leaning forward in his seat in almost anticipation. “Far too many, I expect.”

“Is it bad I’m looking forward to it?” Adrian asked, earning a snort from Terrence.

“Honestly? I think everyone’s looking forward to it.” He responded. “I may not love Potter, not even like him, but these muggles...they are the worst.”

“Not sure.” Cassius murmured. "Torrington’s dad sounded worse.”

“...Wait. How do you know Alabaster’s last name?” Adrian asked. Cassius raised an eyebrow.

“I asked the blonde one - Cassandra? She was in a Divination lesson and was debunking at least half of the forms of it. We got to talking.”

“The one who is so obviously a Gryffindor. Or a Hufflepuff.” Peregrine butted into the conversation, a smirk playing about his lips. “You going soft, Warrington?”

“It’s the eyes, I swear they’re disarming.” Cassius defended, earning muffled laughter from the Slytherin’s near him.

**"I want -- " he began, but Uncle Vernon was tearing the letters into pieces before his eyes.**

“I want to kill this man.” Sue Li from Ravenclaw muttered, before hiding her face in her hands and screaming. Michael Corner patted her back in consolidation.

“So does the entire hall, Sue. Just breathe.” Lisa said. “Soon Harry will be here in the narrative, and we’ll have to wait until another summer for him to be brought up again...hopefully.”

**Uncle Vernon didn't go to work that day. He stayed at home and nailed up the mail slot.**

“He does realise that will stop any other letters from coming in, right?” Ron asked Harry, who shrugged.

“Stops me from getting mine...or so he thought.”

Yep, the entire hall was anticipating what, exactly, was to come.

**"See," he explained to Aunt Petunia through a mouthful of nails, "if they can't deliver them they'll just give up."**

“He really thinks it’s going to be as easy as that?” Ginny asked, perplexed. “Because it isn’t going to be that easy. No way.”

**"I'm not sure that'll work, Vernon."**

**... knock in a nail with the piece of fruitcake Aunt Petunia had just brought him.**

“Yes. Our minds are strange.” Lee rolled his eyes. “We’re not the one trying to knock a nail in with a piece of cake.”

“The thing is, it worked.” Harry chirped, earning some very concerned looks. “It was one Aunt Petunia had made.”

“...I am never eating your aunts cooking. Though I don’t think I’ll ever have the... _ pleasure _ .” Charlie’s nose wrinkled.

**On Friday, no less than twelve letters arrived for Harry. ... forced through the small window in the downstairs bathroom.**

Tracey Davis raised an eyebrow. “That’s...a little extreme.”

“Potter said it gets worse.” Daphne reminded her. “For some reason, I doubt this is his definition of ‘worse’.”

**Uncle Vernon stayed at home again. ... He hummed "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" as he worked, and jumped at small noises.**

“That’s...very concerning.” Topher raised an eyebrow. “Very, very concerning.”

“He’s gone completely mad, hasn’t he?” Alicia said. “I mean, not like he wasn’t slightly before, but...this is worse.”

**On Saturday, things began to get out of hand. ...milkman had handed Aunt Petunia through the living room window.**

“You know, magic does weird stuff. And this is coming from a child of Hecate.” Fahra said. “I think I understand it, and then something happens and I can’t comprehend it. Like when Al decided to mess with gravitational force.”

“I told you I’m just changing the centre of it. The normal gravity is the same.” Alabaster said. “Like, I can increase the pull on items, or change where the heavier force is, like with a black hole.”

“It still makes no sense.” Fahra retorted, oblivious to the wide eyed looks Alabaster was getting. “And you do it with a hand wave and a piece of rock.”

“With somatic and material components.” Alabaster paused briefly. “And it’s obsidian, not a rock. Not to mention I don’t just wave my hand, it’s a very precise movement.”

**While Uncle Vernon made furious telephone calls to the post office and the dairy trying to find someone to complain to, Aunt Petunia shredded the letters in her food processor.**

“Well, that’s one way to get rid of something.” Colin said, voice slightly amused. “Better than your uncle burning them all, I guess.”

**"Who on earth wants to talk to you this badly?" Dudley asked Harry in amazement.**

“Oh, about half of the wizarding world.” Fred started.

“No one important or anything.” George finished. Harry groaned, hiding his head against the table.

“I wish I wasn’t famous for something I didn’t even do.” He muttered against the wood.

**On Sunday morning, Uncle Vernon sat down at the breakfast table looking tired and rather ill, but happy.**

“Why is that concerning?” Hannah asked no one in particular. “Why is this man being happy making me apprehensive all of a sudden?”

“Because he’s a horrible person, Han.” Ernie said. “If something makes him happy, it means something bad is happening, probably to Harry.”

**"No post on Sundays," he reminded them cheerfully as he spread marmalade on his newspapers, "no damn letters today--"**

“I’m going to bypass the marmalade and newspaper thing to ask why he wouldn’t expect post on Sunday.” Ginny asked, and had to mention the marmalade and newspaper thing because if they wanted a solid sign this man had lost it, well, there it was.

“The postal service doesn’t operate on Sunday’s.” Hermione said. “Humans have religion, unlike owls, and it’s considered a day of rest.”

“Oh, in America it’s because of money.” Cassandra said. “Of course it’s because of money. Everything is.”

“It’s why shops are open on Sundays. Maybe shorter hours, but it isn’t a day of rest. It’s because of money.” Alabaster rolled his eyes. “The American system is shit, to be honest - we have to pay for treatment if we get sick or injured, and if you can’t pay it? Congratulations, you are now in debt. Not including debt because of college.”

“You can rant about the American system later.” Fahra said. “They have the NHS here, anyway, and we’ll pull the ‘magic is our mother’ card if it’s a wizarding thing.”

**Something came whizzing down the kitchen chimney ... The Dursleys ducked, but Harry leapt into the air trying to catch one --**

“You do realise you could have picked one up from the floor?” Regulus said, laughter ringing in his voice as the rest of the school laughed.

“Seeker instincts.” Harry said, and Regulus could only nod, understanding completely. After all, he was a seeker, too.

“...Seeker?” Topher asked.

“It will definitely be explained.” Harry said, amazed that Topher hadn’t heard Quidditch being discussed in the time he’d spent at Hogwarts. Only a couple of days, sure, but most of the school was slightly mad about it, even if most of that was attributed to Oliver.

**"Out! OUT!"**

**Uncle Vernon seized Harry around the waist and threw him into the hall.**

The humour abruptly vanished at that reminder, and Angelina looked ready to fight Vernon. In fact, most of Gryffindor did. Harry wanted to remind them this had already happened, but wisely kept his mouth shut. Instead, he buried his hands in Dog’s fur, the animal having moved away from Regulus when his shaking had stopped.

**When Aunt Petunia and Dudley had run out with their arms over their faces,... bouncing off the walls and floor.**

“Bouncing letters.” George hummed in consideration. “Sounds exciting.”

“Just release tons of bouncy balls into a room and watch the chaos.” Lee suggested. “Those things are terrifying.”

“But painful.” Fred countered. “We want it to be amusing, not harmful.”

“...Yeah, fair point.”

**"That does it," said Uncle Vernon, trying to speak calmly but pulling great tufts out of his mustache at the same time.**

Those with facial hair in the room grimaced because...ow. Like, really ow. Yanking out hair from the top of your head was painful enough, never mind the stuff that grew on your chin and upper lip. Fahra did not snicker when Topher physically winced, rubbing at the stubble on his chin as though reminding himself it was there. She got why he liked his facial hair well enough - the pure excitement the first day he could see it and got almost everyone to feel the stubble was in her top ten favourite memories - but that seemed a little dramatic.

**"I want you all back here in five minutes ready to leave. We're going away. Just pack some clothes. No arguments!"**

“...This is what you meant by worse, isn’t it?” Ron deadpanned. Harry grinned.

“Oh, this is just the start.” Harry replied and, at the head table, Remus looked like he wanted to hit his head against the table and groan loudly.

**He looked so dangerous with half his mustache missing that no one dared argue. ... his father had hit him round the head for holding them up while he tried to pack his television, VCR, and computer in his sports bag.**

“The fact that he hits his own son who he spoils rotten is...a concern.” Molly muttered, glaring daggers at the book. Sure, she didn’t approve of Dudley’s behaviour at all, but no one should ever hit a child in reprimand. No one should lay a hand on a child, and almost unconsciously her eyes flickered to Harry. To Alabaster and Regulus, and felt her heart clench in her chest.

She fought the urge to bundle them up and protect them from all the harm in the world - one had died, one had mentioned almost being killed, and the other had faced more than any thirteen year old ever had to. This wasn’t including their horrible excuses for guardians, for parents. Regulus and Alabaster were old enough to look after themselves, but it wouldn’t stop Molly from making sure they and Alabaster’s group were safe, and Harry…

Harry was as good as hers, and if no one stepped forward, she would gladly take him on for as long as he wished.

**They drove. And they drove….**

**"Shake 'em off... shake 'em off," he would mutter whenever he did this.**

“He...he does know wizards can cast spells, right?” Percy tried not to sound too confused at this behaviour. “That we’ll know where he is, like how the first letter was addressed to…” He trailed off, not wanting to bring up the cupboard again.

“Perce, I think he’s actually lost it.” Bill said. “He’s not thinking logically.”

“If he ever had the capability.” Charlie added.

**They didn't stop to eat or drink all day.**

“How did you cope?” Dean’s eyes grew wide.

“It’s not like I haven’t done it before.” Harry said, then cursed internally at the growls that issued with that comment. “It doesn’t happen anymore!”  _ Much _ , he added inside his head, trying to forget the summer of last year. That...that was going to be  _ fun _ .

**By nightfall Dudley was howling…. long without blowing up an alien on his computer.**

“Oh, such hardship.” Justin rolled his eyes. “How did he ever cope?”

“With great difficulty.” Harry replied, managing to not roll his eyes too. “Honestly, you’d think his life was tied to his computer.”

**Uncle Vernon stopped at last outside a gloomy-looking hotel ...**

**They ate stale cornflakes and cold tinned tomatoes on toast for breakfast the next day.**

“...Why?” Ron looked horrified. “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!”

“Honestly, Ronald, do you think with your stomach?” Hermione asked.

“It’s important!” Ron looked wounded at the accusation. “Not to mention they hadn’t even eaten the day before!”

**They had just finished when the owner of the hotel came over to their table.**

**"'Scuse me, but is one of you Mr. H. Potter? Only I got about an 'undred of these at the front desk."**

**She held up a letter so they could read the green ink address:**

“Oh my gods.” Cassandra whispered with a quiet laugh. “What in Hades’ name…”

“This is getting slightly out of control.” Pomona said, and Regulus raised an eyebrow.

“‘Slightly’?” He repeated, disbelievingly, and Minerva blushed a little.

**Mr. H. Potter**

**Room 17**

**Railview Hotel**

**Cokeworth**

Severus blinked, slightly alarmed. Cokeworth. They’d gone back to where he and Lily had grown up, where Severus still lived. Odd, that - he figured that Petunia would protest against going there.

He tried not to think too hard that, while both Evans sisters had moved on from Cokeworth, from their childhood there (even Petunia had been interested in magic...before), Severus stayed there. It probably didn’t help that he lived in the house his father used to haunt, that he was abused in. That he couldn’t move on, and he probably never would.

And why did that thought make him feel sick, when it never had before?

**Harry made a grab for the letter but Uncle Vernon knocked his hand out of the way. The woman stared.**

“Don’t just stare!” Ginny snarled, but Topher shook his head.

“Number one, Harry is a minor so technically Vernon has every right to take his letter - not that it is right.” He added hastily. “Number two, the woman doesn’t know the situation - for all she knows Harry is an overcurious child who has a habit of getting overly involved in what may be private business -”

“Which he is.” Percy commented, shooting the Golden Trio a look, at which they all smiled and tried to look innocent.

“ - or that Vernon is Mr H Potter.” Topher shrugged.

“Oh I would love it if you called him Mr Potter to his face.” Harry said. “He’d probably explode. It’d be great.”

**"I'll take them," said Uncle Vernon, standing up quickly and following her from the dining room.**

**"Wouldn't it be better just to go home, dear?" Aunt Petunia suggested timidly, hours later, but Uncle Vernon didn't seem to hear her.**

“Your aunt is the only sensible one and now I feel faintly ill.” Padma wrinkled her nose. “I can’t believe those words escaped my mouth.”

“Well, she did grow up with my mum, so she had the advantage of knowing about magic.” Harry reminded.

**Exactly what he was looking for, none of them knew. ...at the top of a multilevel parking garage.**

“I...am concerned. More than before.” Regulus said. “Is he...trying to find a place away from all civilisation?”

“Yup.” Harry said. “He had gone totally paranoid, to the point that any common sense had left him.”

**"Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?" Dudley asked Aunt Petunia dully late that afternoon. Uncle Vernon had parked at the coast, locked them all inside the car, and disappeared.**

“Dudley, Dudley, your daddy went mad when the first letter showed up.” Terry clicked his tongue, shaking his head in despair. Draco rolled his eyes from his place next to Pansy, muttering something about stupid muggles, at which his classmate agreed wholeheartedly.

This book had done nothing to improve their opinion of Muggles - they seemed savage and uncivilised. The thing is, they had only ever seen the worst of the Muggles, only heard about the bad ones...except for an uncle, whose name hadn’t been mentioned.

Funny, how the good ones, the ones who are better than the pure-blooded wizards two thirteen year olds looked up to, are forgotten in the wake of the worst kind.

**It started to rain. Great drops beat on the roof of the car. Dudley sniveled.**

**"It's Monday," he told his mother. "The Great Humberto's on tonight. I want to stay somewhere with a television."**

“Of course that’s what he cares about.” Susan rolled his eyes. “His television program. Not that his father is actually insane.”

“Usually I would comment on the use of the word insane, but in this case, you are probably right.” Topher stated.

**Monday. This reminded Harry of something. ... tomorrow, Tuesday, was Harry's eleventh birthday.**

“When’s your birthday?” Fahra asked.

“July thirty first.” Harry answered, and Cassandra let out a gleeful sound.

“The day after mine!” She said. “We can have a joint party! That’d be so cool! I’ve never had anyone who had a birthday near mine before!”

**Of course, his birthdays were never exactly fun -- last year, the Dursleys had given him a coat hanger and a pair of Uncle Vernon's old socks.**

“...We’re planning a birthday party.” Molly’s voice was firm and Harry’s eyes went very wide.

“Oh, no, you don’t have to -”

“Nonsense.” Molly said, turning to Cassandra. “Are you still wanting a joint one?”

“We could do a beach trip!” Cassandra said, her voice very eager. She sounded so terrifyingly young for a second, like a child instead of someone who was fourteen, nearing fifteen. “I love beaches. And if it’s in the summer, there could be sun.”

“We’ll have to arrange a birthday cake. Maybe two.” Alabaster murmured to Topher, who nodded slightly. “We’re gonna have to make a list of names, aren’t we?” He was watching as Cassandra babbled on happily, and even Harry seemed to perk up at her obvious enthusiasm. “She’s going to want to invite so many people. It’s usually just been us.”

“That’s not so bad, is it?” Topher said. “Let her have some friends her own age - it’s healthy.”

“Look at you two, acting like parents.” Fahra cooed, her smile more soft than anything. “When’s the wedding?”

“Shut up.” Alabaster said, though it was very soft. Eventually, Cassandra’s excitement had simmered down to her fidgeting in her seat, and the narration continued.

**Still, you weren't eleven every day.**

**... carrying a long, thin package and didn't answer Aunt Petunia when she asked what he'd bought.**

“That is concerning.” Hermione said. “All this chapter had been one worry after the other, come to think of it.”

“It’s not good for my nerves.” Arthur said, pinching the bridge of his nose. He could tell from the first letter things were going to get worse, and so it had.

**"Found the perfect place!" he said. "Come on! Everyone out!"**

**... little shack you could imagine. One thing was certain, there was no television in there.**

“‘Perfect’ place?” Parvati looked doubtful, which was valid in this situation. “It’s...a tiny shack. It’s raining. It’s in the middle of the sea.”

“Yup. Perfect.” Lavender rolled her eyes.

**"Storm forecast for tonight!" said Uncle Vernon gleefully, clapping his hands together. ...**

**"I've already got us some rations," said Uncle Vernon, "so all aboard!"**

“I wonder what these rations are?” Poppy muttered. “Probably not healthy for a growing child - if Mr Potter gets any, that is.”

**It was freezing in the boat. Icy sea spray and rain crept down their necks and a chilly wind whipped their faces.**

“Try New York in winter.” Cassandra said. “Although, I guess we weren’t near the sea, and the snow was pretty until it got slushy and slippery. Then it was less cool. The coolest part was stealing -”

“Liberating.” Fahra said.

“ - winter clothes. Jumpers are cute.” Cassandra continued on, oblivious to the look she got from the Ministry officials. She obviously didn’t give a damn, and honestly, why would she? Technically, she hadn’t done it yet.

**After what seemed like hours they reached the rock, where Uncle Vernon, slipping and sliding, led the way to the broken-down house.**

“Yes, because that seems totally safe to stay in.” Charlie muttered under his breath. “Didn’t he say a storm was blowing in? It’ll fall down!”

**The inside was horrible; it smelled strongly of seaweed, ... a bag of chips each and four bananas.**

“Yes, that’s definitely good rations.” Alabaster muttered. “We had to shoplift and still got better than that.”

“Because we’re actually smart, Al.” Fahra said. “And if one thing Vernon isn’t, it’s smart.”

“Got that right.” Harry agreed. “On both accounts. Can you teach me to manipulate gravity?”

“Nice try with the flattery, but even I’m not sure what I’m doing half the time.” Alabaster stated. “I could teach you pocket dimensions - saves lugging bags full of books around a castle.”

“Oh, yes please!” Hermione butted in, eyes wide with excitement, and Alabaster had to laugh.

“Next break, I’ll do a quick breakdown, yeah? That goes out to everyone.” He got a few calls of ‘count me in’ and ‘yes please’, and smiled to himself. Time to see if he was a half decent teacher when it came to people who weren’t his siblings.

**He tried to start a fire but the empty chip bags just smoked and shriveled up.**

**"Could do with some of those letters now, eh?" he said cheerfully.**

“Before someone mentions it, no, you can’t kill Uncle Vernon.” Harry said, hearing the rumbling start of a growl from Alicia. “I know he sucks, but hey, apparently I’m getting kidnapped, so I won’t have to deal with him.” Albus, wisely, did not mention the need for Harry to go back for at least a week in the summer for the blood protection. It was for the best he didn’t mention it, as most likely Alabaster would begin ranting about how that made no sense unless it involved a ritual, which...well, best not delve into that. Not yet, at least.

**He was in a very good mood. ... the thought didn't cheer him up at all.**

“Such a pessimist.” Seamus teased. “Mate, we’re  _ fucking wizards _ .”

“Well, I didn’t know that, did I?” Harry said, ignoring McGonagall’s yell of ‘Mr Finnegan!’.

**As night fell, the promised storm blew up around them. ... a fierce wind rattled the filthy windows.**

“Yes, that sounds perfectly safe.” Penelope sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of her nose. She resisted the very sudden urge to scream.

**Aunt Petunia found a few moldy blankets in the second room ... curl up under the thinnest, most ragged blanket.**

“Gods, you’re breaking my heart.” Fahra managed. “You’re just a baby!”

“Hey, I was ten!” Harry argued.

“A  _ baby _ !”

“Don’t bother. She still insists she’s the older sibling, when it’s me.” Alabaster told Harry. “Also, once you reach adulthood everyone who isn’t eighteen is too small.”

“You’re...you’re nineteen.” Regulus pointed out. “That’s one year older than eighteen.”

“When you’re eighteen you can get shipped off to fight in wars and die.” Alabaster stated. “Not that it stopped a Titan shoving kids into armies and making them fight in death matches.”

“...What?”

“It’s...a very long story.” Alabaster said. “And I’m not going to elaborate unless it’s necessary or brought up in my life story. Yay.” The last word was very sarcastic, and just a little bitter.

**The storm raged more and more ferociously ... stomach rumbling with hunger.**

Molly and Poppy both frowned at that, both silently making a vow to make sure Harry never went hungry again. Of course, the portion thing was going to be dealt with, along with nutrient potions, until Harry was eating a healthy amount for a thirteen year old.

**Dudley's snores were drowned by the low rolls of thunder...wondering if the Dursleys would remember at all, wondering where the letter writer was now.**

“The only reason the Dursley’s would remember my birthday would be to make me miserable on it.” Harry stated. “Last year was a horrible birthday, to be completely honest. Like, the worst birthday.”

“Joint birthday party.” Cassandra told him once more. “With cake and good food. And presents! A beach!”

“You’re set on the beach.” Topher said, amused.

“Well, yeah. The beach is cool.” Cassandra beamed. “It’ll be fun!”

**Five minutes to go. Harry heard something creak outside. He hoped the roof wasn't going to fall in, although he might be warmer if it did.**

“Harry…”

“War humour!” Harry defended immediately, trying not to cringe at the pitying and worried looks.

“Dark humour.” Regulus corrected, absently checking his nails. “Siri used to use it all the time. Mother hated it, but it helped him cope, I think.”

“And you?” Charlie asked, curious despite himself.

“I played the role of the good, perfect son.” Regulus said. “Stopped her hexing me like she did my brother. Ruined my life in the process, but you know - I did what was expected of a Black and it got me killed. Honestly, I got off lightly, in comparison to my brother. I’m not sure what happened to my cousins, though - Andy got out, caused a stir. Sirius cheered.”

“Neither option seems good.” Charlie’s nose wrinkled and Regulus shrugged.

“They were what we had, until Sirius ran away and was disowned.”

**Four minutes to go. Maybe the house in Privet Drive would be so full of letters when they got back that he'd be able to steal one somehow.**

Theo let out a snort at the image conjured in his mind of Vernon opening the front door and being crushed by an avalanche of Hogwarts letters. Would serve him right, the git.

**Three minutes to go. ... Was the rock crumbling into the sea?**

“If it is, that’s terrifying.” Hermione shuddered. “There’s barely enough space on that rock for a shack, you can’t risk losing any more land.”

“As you can see, I’m alive.” Harry said, and Regulus snorted loudly.

“Yes, because that means nothing happened.” He said, gesturing to himself, and Harry stuck his tongue out at him in retaliation.

**One minute to go and he'd be eleven….**

**BOOM.**

A lot of jumps and yelps came from those gathered, not expecting that at all. Boom? That couldn’t be good. Not at all.

**The whole shack shivered and Harry sat bolt upright, staring at the door. Someone was outside, knocking to come in.**

Harry grinned at Hagrid, who winked back at him.

“Well, let’s not stop there!” A sixth year Gryffindor yelled. “What happens next? Who’s at the door?”

“If you quiet down, the narration will start again.” Tonks said, and they did quieten down, staring expectantly at the book which, as said, started up the narration again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Chapter: 3843
> 
> Commentary: 10259
> 
> Chapter before editing: 14102
> 
> Me: *overanalyses the fact that Severus Snape still lives in his childhood home, which symbolises how he cannot move on from the negative effects his childhood had upon him as a person and how if he got some FUCKING THERAPY he might be halfway decent*
> 
> Severus Snape is one of those characters I want to fucking strangle, but am so very interested in that he’s...ew grown on me. Like fungus.
> 
> The third chapter always seems to be the hardest for me to write regarding HP, not sure why but it may be purely because of the lack of magic in the actual chapter. Hopefully things’ll speed up after the next chapter.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy! - Jazz x

**Author's Note:**

> This is originally up on Fanfic.net but you know what? I'll put it up here as well because why not?  
> The intro chapter is longer than the actual first chapter of Harry Potter (5681 here to 4583 there) hoo boy this’ll be fun.  
> I have dabbled in and out of reading fics, I have only ever finished one book in one when I was young and my writing was horrible, I have fallen out of love with JKR after certain comments made by her and yet, here I am.  
> Writing a reading the books fic and I am really, really pleased with this intro.  
> Yes, it is a crossover fic, and no, the only PJO related thing it may include is references to events and characters in the books (I may include one more character because I'm always down for redemption arcs) and possible Son of Magic because I fell in love with Alabaster. Of course, this is an older Alabaster, so is different from him in the short story, but I am hoping to catch the main gist - a little older, a little wiser, still ready to fight but also protective and caring to those who earn it. Also, less eager to kill Percy Jackson, but that might be because he doesn’t want Poseidon to kill him, who knows.  
> Any questions regarding my OCs I am willing and eager to answer, but I am hoping to include their backstories more so as we go along. Any burning questions I will probably answer in author’s notes if it isn’t detrimental to plotlines and such. Yes, I have a plotline regarding this. Everything I write has some sort of plotline, even if I don’t realise it half the time.  
> Minimal chapter text, enough so it's easy enough to follow however you prefer (I've read the series enough I just need a couple words to know what's happening).  
> Anyway, enjoy! - Jazz xx


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